It Started With A Dare

19. Just Do It

19. Just Do It

"Leah I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I... Ugh no that's not a good beginning".

At the moment I was standing in front of my mirror, rehearsing what I was going to tell Leah when I will see her again. I wanted to apologize so bad. I've been trying to say I'm sorry for a good ten minutes and then it finally kicked in and my brain allowed me to say those words.

Now I was trying to find the other words I had to say.

"Look I know that what I did wasn't nice and I'm really so-" my rehearsal was cut off by a voice of someone else.

"Luke what the fck are you doing?". I looked to my right to see that Sam was looking amused at me and shaking his head. It must looked really weird that I was talking to myself in a mirror.

"I'm rehearsing the conversation I'm going to have with Leah tomorrow at school" I replied. "And is it going well so far?".

I sighed and shook my head. I was starting to become a bit frustrated with myself. "If you want to rehearse it with me. Just pretend I'm Leah" he suggested but I shook my head no. "Thanks for the offer but it's something private between Leah and me". "I understand. Hey don't make it too late, I'm going to sleep and I see you tomorrow" he said. I wished him a goodnight and then he closed my door to go to his own room.

After rehearsing for another 30 minutes I was finally satisfied with it. I decided to write it down because what if I will incur a serious brain damage tonight and I will forget everything I wanted to tell her and that would be so stupid because all my work would be for nothing and I'm totally overreacting again but that's because I'm stressed about it and I have no idea how she will react.

Tucking the papers under my pillow I quickly undressed myself and laid down in the warm comfort of my bed.

The next morning I woke up, with a paper taped on my cheek. I slowly pulled it off my cheek and put the paper on top of my bedsheet.

I put on jeans and a plain white t-shirt in which you could see my abs through the shirt. I know Leah can't resist that and I needed this bit extra help to get her attention.

I stood in front of my mirror to do my hair when I noticed something on my cheek. Turning my head slightly to see what it was, I saw that a few words I had written down on the paper yesterday now were printed on my right cheek. Nice. Really nice. Not.

Looking on my watch that it was time to go, I got my backpack and pulled it up on my shoulder. I got an apple in the kitchen and noticed that my friends were already in the car. Had no one bothered to call me or anything? Great friends I have.

I jumped in the car and then we drove to school.

"You're nervous?" Jai asked. I nodded and looked down at my hands. "Shit I forgot the paper" I shouted. "Now I can't rehearse my talk with Leah".

"It will be alright. You don't need a paper, you have to speak from the heart" Jai said while he rubbed his hand on my back. "You're right, thanks". "Anytime".

We arrived at school and all went to our classes. I got a few strange looks from people but no one seemed to tell me what was up with them so I let it slip because I was too nervous for lunch break.

When the bell rang, signaling that it was lunch break I actually really wanted to skip lunch. But I pushed myself towards the doors which were the entrance to the cafeteria.

I dropped my backpack at the table where I normally said. They all told me good luck which I really needed because I've never been so scared before.

Well actually once and that moment also included something with Leah. It was that conscious day I fcked up and left her alone. I let my mind wander back to that day, replaying the scene in my head like it was yesterday, it was printed in my head and my mind wouldn't let me forget what happened.

Never.

It was a month later after the summer camp. Mike, Taylor, Keira, Joelle, Leah and me had organized a reunion for the six of us. It was at Keira's house and we had the house all for ourselves because her parents were out of town. Luckily we all lived near each other.

Loud music was blasting from a speaker and a we all had a red cup which was filled with some liquor Keira got from her parents collection. "They wouldn't notice it" was what she said.

Leah being the responsible one had turned down the offer drinking with us. She's been a bit quiet since she arrived. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but avoided any eye contact with me. Maybe she was on her period.

I looked around the room and noticed that Keira and Mike were gone. Probably making out in another room. Since summer camp they became a couple and still liked each other very much.

Taylor was showing Joelle a video from his phone, which she was laughing with him about. I looked at Leah and now I noticed how she changed since the last time I saw her. Her face was pale and she had dark rings under her eyes, probably from a lack of sleep.

I stood up and offered her my hand, she looked up at me and took my hand and we walked together to the kitchen. She sat on a barstool and I stood next to her, leaning with my elbow on the table.

"What's up with you?" I asked and she shrugged. "Don't do this to me. I know something's wrong with you".

"I need to tell you something" she said, her voice so low that I could barely hear it. I went to close the door of the kitchen so we had a bit more privacy and that I could hear her better.

"You know what happened the other night at the camp. Between us" she started and I nodded for her to go on.

It was definitely the best night of my life. Her hands were all over my body, slightly trembling because she was nervous. I comforted her and asked her if she was really sure about this. It wasn't something you should do with anyone. She was about to lose her virginity to someone she only met a few weeks before. But there was something between us, whenever we kissed or whenever her arm brushed against mine, I felt like I was on fire.

"What about that?" I asked her when I noticed she wasn't talking any further.

"Luke I- I don't know what to do" she said and then put her hands in front of her eyes and started crying. Quickly I was by her side and rubbed my hand up and down her back to comfort her. I pushed back a few strands of her hair and wiped away her tears.

She looked up at me, her eyes full with concern but I also noticed another emotion: fear.

"What are you afraid of?" I asked. "Losing you" she replied.

"What do you mean?".

"Luke I'm p-, I am" , she struggled to say the words but I had no idea what was wrong. No idea that after those words my whole life would change immediately.

"Luke I'm pregnant. From you".

I regained myself again and with tears brimming at my eyes, threatening to spill I walked to the table were Leah was sitting.

"Leah we need to talk" I said, not bothering to say hi first. No just straight to what I wanted from her.

"Okay talk then" she replied, her eyes not meeting mine.

"Alone" I said, a bit louder this time. "If it's important just say it here, right here right now" she said, finally looking up, her eyes meeting mine.

I closed my eyes and swallowed.

You can do this Luke.

Talk from the heart.

Just do it.

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