As Fate Would Have It - Part 2 (Completed)

Chapter 2 : Toronto

Lilly's P.O.V :

Ding Dong.

"MOM CAN YOU GET THE DOOR??", I yelled from my room. No answer. May be she was in the washroom. "Aaargh..", I was annoyed and got up and walked downstairs. I was halfway to the door when my mom hurried and opened it. I turned back and started to walk towards my room when I heard my mom say, "Oh hello Jaz! Long time! How have you been?".

Jaz???  I froze for a moment. It was too late to run to my room and hide so mom could say I wasn't home. There was no escape now. I could hear her voice as she exchanged greetings with my mom. I slowly turned back. Yes it was Jaz. She stood there at the door staring at me with an unsure expression.

"Ummm, come on in", my mom said to Jaz and looked back at me with a little concern. I had told her to send back anyone who came asking for me in the past four months. But now that Jaz had seen me, my mom couldn't help but call her in.

Jaz slowly stepped inside and looked back at me again, fidgeting with her purse while she awaited my reaction.

"Come on", I said and I saw wave of relief in her face as she nodded. I walked back to my room and she followed. Though she was the last person I wanted to talk to, I had no choice as she had dropped by my home without informing. Well to be honest, she did call me a couple of times but I never received it. 

I walked into my room and sat down on my chair. She stood in front of me awkwardly, I gestured her to sit down on the bed. Now that I did no work in my room my bed was pretty clean and room kind of empty except for a few stuff dolls and basic clothes as most of my stuff was in L.A.

We sat there in an awkward silence for a while. I wasn't sure what to talk with her considering how our last encounter was. Around four months ago, Jaz had had an emotional outburst and had told me things I never thought I would ever get over. Then she had stormed off telling me she quit and my life had been pretty much of an emotional roller-coaster ever since.

Jaz did try to contact me since past two weeks though, but I never received her calls. Not that I had any hatred or anger towards her, but I wasn't really sure what I felt towards her. Or if I could even be the same old friend to her anymore.

"So.. you are here taking a vacation?", she asked. " Umm, yeah", I replied. Though it was a lie, I wasn't really in any mood to give her an explanation of my current situation.

She sensed my disinterest and shifted uncomfortably. "Lilly... I came here to apologize to you" , she said.  I just looked away. I had been literally struggling since past four months to come to terms with the fact that Aman and I are not together anymore. And talking about this with Jaz will only make me recollect the events and go back to the downward spiral. I didn't want to talk to Jaz. I didn't want her apology.

"Lilly??" , she tried again. "Its okay Jaz" I said. I wasn't even sure if I was okay with her but I just wanted this to end.

"Okay, so you want me to leave?", she asked, her voice a little low. I just looked everywhere except at her. I hoped she got the message. Yes I wanted her to leave. She slowly got up at walked towards the door while I sat there trying to decipher what was going on in my own mind. She suddenly stopped at the door and turned back.

"I know you are not okay with me Lilly. And I don't blame you for it. I would be mad too if I were you. What I said to you that day was just unacceptable. And no amount of apologies will correct what I said.", she stopped to catch a breath. "Lilly, I know you may not accept me as the same friend anymore , but I hope you do forgive me someday. I am really sorry for what I did" she said her voice almost cracking before she started to walk away.

"Wait...", I said, without even realizing it. Something clicked in me and I just felt bad for Jaz. I knew her too well for too long. I knew she wasn't a bad person. 

We tend to do and say crazy things when we are emotional , and not mean any of it. I had done the same with Aman and now was repenting for it. Jaz had the courage and choice to correct her mistake while I had none.

"I am not angry with you Jaz" I said as I got up. She looked back at me with her unsure expression again. She was a little taken aback as I walked to her and hugged her tight. "It's alright", I said and pulled away. I realized that I felt a little better myself saying those words. She smiled a genuine smile and said "I missed you Lilly", I smiled back.  I had missed her.

We then spoke for a while filling each other with all the happenings in our lives. She had supposedly gone for career change and experimented in writing. But somehow she realized that she didn't like it as much anymore so she was now trying out new things. Presently she was leaning to play different instruments and trying things in the music world.

I told her about me. My break up with Aman. How I had stopped to function ever since. I never had the nerve to go back to LA after that. And have almost closed my channel with no videos or activities. I had canceled all my projects and had been sitting at home.

The break up had a really bad impact on me. I wasn't exactly depressed or crying, I did that the first two months, but later on, I was having a different feeling. Angry? May be, I was angry at myself. For being such a coward and breaking up with Aman without even meeting him in person? Disappointed at myself? For letting my emotions take over and running away from a problem rather than solve it? I felt a hundred different ways. But most of all I felt dis-interested. I had lost the interest to do anything. Towards my channel, my videos, my passion. everything had simply disappeared. And I didn't even try to repair it.

 Jaz was shocked to hear this and wanted to help out. I told her I was feeling okay now and I promised her I would try going back to LA in a weeks time. May be it was high time I start getting back in the race again.

Jaz left  after a while and I returned to my room and sat in  front of my laptop. 

I need to book my ticket to L.A.