blue | a collection of tronnor oneshots

Broken Home

Prompt: Connor and Troye have a son named Chimes whos soups cute k

Little hands, gripping and pulling on my pant leg as I pour another cup of coffee.

"Daddyyyyy!!" The little voice whines. "Daddy listen! I need to tell you a secret!"

"But you've already told me a secret. Twice." I laugh out, finally looking down at the precious boy. His curly hair is everywhere, his big blue eyes shining brightly against the moon light. "And plus, it's way past your bed time little man." I say, picking the four year old up and resting him on my hip. A nightly routine in the Franta house hold.

"I can't fall asleep." He whimpers, resting his head on my shoulder softly.

"And why not? I've checked under the bed already, and the closet." Squeezing him tightly, I lay him in his bed and cover him up.

"It's not the monsters tonight." He says, avoiding eye contact. I know what's coming, this happens at least once a week. Swallowing my own cries I sit next to where he's laying and play with his soft locks.

"You miss him, don't you?" He nods, a single tear falling from his precious eye and sliding over the little birthmark on his jawline. Something he inherited not from me, but his father. Along with countless other things.

"Sometimes I hear him." I look at him in confusion.

"What do you mean bud?"

"His voice, when you play his songs." My eyes widen. Ever night after Chimes falls asleep I play Troyes music. I always thought he was sleeping when I did that.

"Oh, I'm sorry Chimes. I won't play them anymore if you don't want me to." How could I be so reckless? I need to step up, for him, for Troye.

"Will you play one? So I can fall asleep?" He asks and I gasp silently, although it's not that surprising. Whenever Troye used to go away for tour Chimes wouldn't sleep, he needed his dad to sing for him. Thank god for Skype.

But now that he's gone...

"Yeah buddy, of course." I push my haunting thoughts away and grab Troyes first full length album, Blue Neighbourhood, from my bedroom. This one was always my favorite, whenever Troye was writing this our relationship was new. We were young and scared and fresh out of the closet, but we had each other. When I return I pull up the CD player and turn it on. "What song?" I ask and he thinks for a second.

"Youth." I smile softly at his selection. That's the song Troye used to sing for him every night. I turn away from my source of happiness and press play on the right track. A few seconds later the rooms full to the brim with Troyes voice, no space untouched.

My heart constricts in my chest and I grab at my shirt, using one hand to balance myself against Chimes's dresser. Oh god I miss him so much. This time last year my beloved Troye got in an accident. He was driving downtown to get Chimes a new pair of slacks for his upcoming premiere. About half way there a diesel truck ran him off the road, killing him instantly. The memories of the horrid phone call and Chimes screams fill my head and I sob quietly.

Troye and I grew up together, he was my best friend before anything else, and then more as the days went by and the connection we had grew more intense. We got married in 2018, a nice autumn wedding capturing the way we were feeling. We had been dating for three years and decided that there was no one else out there for each other. We were right.

About three more years later, (Troye had a thing about the number three and it bringing us good fortune) we checked into adoption. We were put on list after list but nothing was fast enough. Troye and I wanted a child. So we did the next best thing. We found a doctor and after a few sleepless nights we decided to let someone have our baby for us.

I begged Troye to be the donor. With his good looks and incredible talent, our kid would be perfect. What did I have to offer? He eventually agreed and nine months later we were presented with our baby boy, Chimes. I don't think I'd ever cried so much in one setting. Everything was perfect, we had a nice house in the middle of LA, a new treasure, Troye was making good money with his singing and acting, and most importantly we had each other.

Then our fortune changed and lucky number three wasn't so lucky anymore. Three years after having Chimes Troye got into the accident, the accident that ruined three lives within the time span of five seconds. Oh the irony.

"Daddy?" A broken voice asks and I hold myself together as I turn around stiffly.

"Yeah Bud?"

"Will you sleep with me tonight? I don't want to have another nightmare." My heart breaks further at his words and even though we could have easily moved to mine and Troyes bed I crawl under the covers of his twin mattress and hold him tightly. I should be happy, this right here should be enough but it isn't. I mean I love Chimes and I love the bond we have but something's missing. He's missing and nothing can fix that. Not therapy, not excessive amounts of work, not even the big eyed boy laying next of me. His little hands find mine as his back presses further into my stomach. I can feel his heart beat were my hands rest on his chest, he's still awake. Not that I plan on getting up anytime soon.

Since Troyes death we've had to change a few things. Day care instead of soccer practice. Late night work sessions instead of family movie night. Chimes is often at Troyes parents house, with the two jobs I work I seldom have time to watch him. He never complains though, I think he understands what were going threw. We're broke, lonely, and stuck in slow motion.

Troye used to keep us afloat. His career choice made us plenty of money, so I could stay home with Chimes and work on my photography blog that has recently been abandoned. But now we're in debt and our house has recently gotten an eviction notice. Things aren't going to great.

Chimes takes a deep breathe, sighing in deep comfort before his breathing evens out and he's asleep. My angel, my precious baby boy is finally free from the pain of losing his father. At least for the next 12 hours. I stare at his wall aimlessly as Troyes songs keep playing.

My youth is yours trippin on skies sippin waterfalls...

I can feel him, tracing my spine and whispering sweet nothings to me as we fall asleep. His eyes would be bright and his hair would be messy. Long slender arms wrapped around me in the most innocent of ways. I need that. I need that right now.

Instead I hold Chimes close to me, going over what I'm going to feed him in the morning. I haven't eaten in two days, our food stamps don't come in for another day. I might go to Laurelles and have her cook, but I most likely won't have time to drive out there before work starts unless I get up super early. Chimes shifts against me.

This is it, this is what my life has been reduced to because one man couldn't keep his wheels straight. I lost the light of my life, and now I'm broken. How can you raise a child when your broken? And with this thought, I fall asleep.
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A/N

I wrote this so long ago omg