blue | a collection of tronnor oneshots

Heaven

Prompt: Tro and Con talk about heaven

"I had a dream that I went to heaven." Connor says and Troye looks up with wide eyes. They're currently sitting on Connors couch in LA, Troye visiting for the summer.

"Oh?" Troye says from his spot leaning against the arm of the couch, Connor doing the same on the other side to were their feet are touching. He locks his phone, stopping his tumblr session, and focuses on his boyfriend of four months.

"And when I got there I saw all of my relatives and friends who have passed away."

"That's good, isn't it?" Troye doesn't know how to respond, Connor's words seem happy but his expression is wary.

"I suppose. But as soon as I approached them they all looked at me in disgust. I was a pest and all of my good thoughts went bad. The whole sky went dark and suddenly I was alone." Troyes thoughtful for a moment.

"Maybe it's a fear of yours you didn't know you had." Connor shrugs.

"Maybe, but I mean I'm a pretty nice guy. I think I could make it to heaven."

"True, you could. But there's also the fact that literally every ignorant ass homophobe we've encountered has told us we're going to hell." They laugh a bit nervously before Troye leans forward and grabs Connors hand. "Maybe it's the illogical side of you fearing the possibility of God hating gays."

"God doesn't hate gays Troye." Connor says with an eye roll and Troye shakes his head.

"I know that you spork, I'm just saying maybe a part of you believes it and your just paranoid." Connor again just shrugs and Troye can see the discomfort and sadness in his partners eyes and he moves to comfort him further.

"I don't know." Connor mumbles and Troye drags him closer.

"Put it this way, everyone believes and feels different things and if there is a god why would he give use that option?" Connor doesn't reply so Troye continues. "When I was younger I had so much faith. So much faith it was funny and when I came to realize I was gay everything changed for me. The thought of being a sinner before I even woke up in the morning, the thought of being in the wrong and being a disgrace all the time put me off from religion all together."

"Yeah, I've noticed how much you dislike the topic." Troye nods.

"But everyone believes different things Con. I mean there's some people out there who are perfectly comfortable with themselves and their religions at the same time. It's just about what you believe and who you are." Connor nods, feeling a hundred weights lift off his shoulders. Not that he would admit it, but he has been thinking about it a lot lately. What he believes in and what he wants.

He knows what he wants. He wants a curly haired boy with eyes blue and a voice like magic and if God doesn't like it then he can chase Connor to the ends of the earth and tell him himself. But until then, he'll keep loving who he wants and being who he is because even though he doesn't have everything figured out, he defiantly has one. He loves Troye and that's a fact.

"Maybe," he says when his confidence is built back up and he turns to look Troye in the eye. "If that's really how things are, if I'm really a sinner and I've been damned to hell since the day I was born, then I don't want it."

"You don't want what?"

"Maybe I don't want Heaven."
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flUFF
(I wrote this in under 20 minutes don't judge. I need to stop speed writing things)