blue | a collection of tronnor oneshots

when connor first told

When Connor first told his mother that he wanted to die he'd said it so beautifully. A poem so pure and heart wrenching that Cheryl was to blinded by the words to find the meaning.

When Connor first told his father that he had depression he'd said it so beautifully that Peter had told him to stop acting like a girl and to get his head out of the dramatic novels he read.

Connor never read dramatic novels, not even once.

When Connor first told his sister that he hated himself, she'd told him to stop seeking attention.

"I know the middle child always feels neglected, but you don't see me acting up do you?"  The right answer was no, only Connor never knew the right answers.

When Connor first told his brothers that his anxiety was getting worse they gave him a picture of a model in nothing but a swim suit and hung it on his wall. They told him that whenever he got nervous just to imagine that everyone around him was naked only it was never as simple as just being nervous.

And when Connor was in his third year of college and was drugged on the street and then used without consent, he was told by the police that woman are the only victims in these types of situations. He's a man, he shouldn't be that effected. 

So as Connor stood on the edge of a suicidal escape, he didn't say a word.

Not speaking is the worst kind of self hate.

The yells and cries slamming against the scull until it's nothing but mush in a cannon full of missed opportunities and misfortune.

Always speak up. Always spread awareness.

Don't be a dark night when you can be the light of your own salvation and maybe someone else's.

If you ever get to the point where being hopeful and staying alive isn't something you'd do for yourself, then do it for someone else.

Who knows, maybe you'll be the thing that pulls someone off a bridge or the text message that forces the girl down the street to put the knife down.

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idk what this is, just a little reminder that I'm always here and to never give up. everyone of you means something and are worth it <3 always remember that