blue | a collection of tronnor oneshots

ocean eyes

based off of ocean eyes by billie eilish featured on common culture volume five

His hands, they're soft. His skin pale. The lights coming from the useable ceiling bath him in cherry reds and sour greens. His clothes tight but loose, his style outgoing but reserved.

A simple white t, tight black jeans, pink high-tops. His hair seems to shine as it bounces on his head in unruly curls; his hips sway to a meaningless beat as men and women alike crowd around him. Not too crowded though, giving Connor a perfect view.

He's been watching him for quite some time. Not just this night, in this sweaty crowded room, but for years. Two years to be exact, two years to learn the lines on the palms of his hands and curve of his jaw. And most importantly, those ocean eyes.

Swarms of tidal waves and crisp salt flow in the giant orbs, alighting fifteen flares under the smooth eyelids.

No fair, Connor thinks. He really knows how to make him cry with those ocean eyes. They scare Connor, make him anxious, because he's never fallen from quite this high. He and Troye are only friends, best friends, but he's starting to think they could be more soon and he's hoping that it's not just Troyes flirty nature giving him that vibe.

This night was supposed to be a fun boy's night out, only the crowds make Connor nervous so Troye dances alone. Funny, how he can be alone in a room full of people.

Connor can almost hear his breathy laugh from where he sits at the bar where the persistent bartender keeps telling him he has to order something if he's going to sit here.

Connor orders a shot of vodka and thinks back to Troye and his diamond mind. A gem, something Connor inspects as often as he can. He's always been infatuated with peoples thoughts and opinions, but sometimes he thinks Troye has too many.

He watches as the boy breaks away from the crowd with a giggle, heading towards him. He decides this will be the night he tells him about his feelings and hopes they'll be returned.

"Hey." He says with a muffled laugh, sitting next to Connor at the bar. Tipsy, Connor thinks.

"Hey."

"Having fun?" Connor shrugs and he slides Troye his water from earlier. Troye frowns. "Why not?"

"Well," Connor says with a small laugh. "I don't really enjoy clubs and this seat is so uncomfortable." Troyes frown grows.

"Oh...I'm sorry. We can go, you should of said something and-"

"No, it's fine honestly. It's kind of fun seeing you make a fool of yourself out there." He tries to joke but Troye just looks away, drinking some of the cold liquid as Connors shot sits untouched.

"Come on, let's go. I've had enough partying for the night anyway." He says and they head to Connors car that they then take back to his apartment where Troye is staying for a bit.

Once they arrive Troye heads straight to the shower without a word so Connor resorts, sadly, to the couch with a fluffy blanket and the remote. By time Troye finds his way to sitting next to him he's watched the tenth episode of The Amazing Race, one him and Troye were supposed to watch together as their two friends were starring.

"You've finished it?" Connor looks down guiltily.

"Yeah...Sorry I thought you'd gone to bed." Troye just shrugs, looking down at his phone as he sits crisscross in a pair of sweats and t-shirt. He's a safe distance away, something unusual to them both and Connor frowns. Did he do something wrong? Is he seriously this upset over a show? "Tro?"

"Yeah?" He doesn't look up from his phone.

"Are you...Are you mad at me?" Connors voice is small, his lips trembling. He's always been sensitivity, especially when it comes to Troye. Said boy sighs, putting his phone down, turning to Connor and sighing yet again as he sees his pained expression.

"No I'm just upset." A tear rolls down Connors cheek when he says this as worrying thoughts plague him.

It's because you're annoying him, you're too sensitive, it's because you didn't dance tonight so a stranger probably got to close to him and stepped on his new shoes making him sad and reminding him of a time when he was sad in the past which made him depressed and now-

"Con? Did you hear anything I just said?" Connors eyes widen as they focus back on the boy in front of him and Troye just shakes his head.

"What?"

"I said, I'm upset because you didn't enjoy yourself tonight. I'm angry with myself for not noticing. But Con, you have to start speaking up." Connors brow furrows as a few more tears fall more frequently.

"What do you mean? I speak a lot."

"I know, I mean, it's just that you go along with literally everything I say! I could ask you to be straight and you'd try!" It's true and Connor knows it, but he can't help it. He's in love and it's proving to be very dangerous.

"Why? Why do you devote yourself to me like this?" Troyes pressures and Connor can almost laugh at how oblivious he is. He decides he'll tell him now.

"Because...Because..." He looks away. "I love you. No, I'm in love with you." Silence follows his confession and all his dreams of the dramatic gasp and kiss on the lips disappear. "Please say something." He begs.

"Oh Con..." Troye answers sadly and Connor looks at him to see his sympathetic frown. Connor bursts into tears then and Troye pulls him into his arms, rubbing his back as his tears slide onto his collar bone and his nose releases sporadic hot puffs of air onto his neck. "I'm sorry." He says and Connor sobs again.

They stay like this for a while until Connor finally has the courage to pull away and face him.

"So...I'm guessing the feelings aren't mutual?" Troye shakes his head. "Figures."

"It's not you!" Troyes rushes to say and Connor scoffs.

"Sure, it was Obama who made you not like me."

"You're a great guy," He says, ignoring Connors snappy remark. "It's just that you're not my type."

"Your type?"

"Yeah...I need someone who will speak their mind and keep me in check if I need it."

"I can do that! I can be that person." Connor pleads and Troye just smiles sadly, wiping away some of his tears.

"Don't change yourself for me Con. There's someone out there for you who's so lucky. But me, I'm just here to be your friend." Connor sighs, the reality of his words hitting him as he hugs him tightly, almost as if saying goodbye.

So, Troye doesn't like him. And he doesn't like him because he's too devoted, too sensitive. But that's just his personality! He cries for no reason and he pleases people. That's who he is. And he guesses that if Troye doesn't like it then someone else will. Someone who will- instead of give the painful beat of heart that Troye gives, will give him sweet relief. He hopes.

And with that the careful creature who makes friends with time leaves Connor lonely with his own diamond mind.

ocean eyes

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do you guys mind that my stuff is sad majority of the time?

also I have a giant oneshot almost wrote that's not sad but I haven't gotten around to finishing it so