blue | a collection of tronnor oneshots

presence

Connor stood in the door frame, peering into his own bedroom.

There to the right hangs two bags on the closet door, a big square mirror outlined in bronze beads to the left.

He can feel him there. He can feel where he once stood with a big smile that used to be pressed against Connors own wide grin.

He steps forward and stands in front of the mirror.

Once, Troye had picked out a really nice outfit and even though Connor protested and just knew it would confirm the rumors, Troye took a picture in the square reflection anyways.

"Troye, the entire fandom knows what this part of my room looks like! What if they connect the two and know you've been staying here?!?"

"Don't worry so much Con, even if they do, it's not like they can say to much. Friends have sleep overs all the time."

Connor let Troye convince him it was fine. Just like every time before, and every time after until they were nothing more than silence.

He drags his foot over where Troye had once laid him down on the floor, laughing as he stuck his head in the crook of Connors neck and left little kisses there.

This whole house, every nook and cranny, is filled to the brim with his presence. Every record spun to his request and every picture on the wall aglow where his fingertips have once grazed.

His jeans once laid in Connors laundry hamper, his shoes once by the door.

Where Troye once laid bare, exposed, and fast asleep; Connor lays bundled in misery and awake to the fast pace running of all his past memories.

The candle Troye once lit, still full of wax.

The tv Troye once flipped through hasn't been turned on in months.

The doorway, the closet draped in presents from a job that used to be fun, and the damned mirror all signs of sadness.

It all ended so quickly, too quickly as Connor tripped over himself to catch up.

They'd been together about a year and a half, best friends for three or maybe four.

But the pressure of a new ship that was once fun and entertaining become demanding and annoying and even while Connor was nervous that it might come between them- Troye seemed content to let the fans minds wonder.

Then there was tour.

At first it wasn't so bad. Connor tagged along for most of the first one. But when two more got booked- a US and European one- Connor knew he couldn't afford to do the next. Not for a while at least.

He just needed time, and unfortunately that wasn't a luxury he could afford.

So when their loving sappy texts turned into strained rehearsed ones sent out of guilt, Connor wasn't surprised.

He thought he'd be fine. He thought that maybe losing Troye as a lover would give him room to expand his comfort zone and try new things- to help him focus on his YouTube channel and his product lines.

So when he got that fateful call, the one where Troye was crying because of the stress of tour and the constant demand from fans to know so much, things he couldn't offer them, Connor didn't cry when Troye muttered their ending.

"I just don't think nows a good time to be in a relationship."

Connor contacted old friends, did a couple of interviews, released new merch. He felt fine.

And then everything settled down. His friends went to Australia for an event, his merch was done being launched and it'd be months before the next would be released, and no more meetings were booked.

Connor sat in his house for what seemed like the first time since he and Troye broke it off and that's when he felt it.

He felt it in the way Troye was sitting next to him on the sofa or dancing in his socks as he made breakfast.

He saw it in the Amy Winehouse record resting by the bar and the signed copy of Wild that still sat on his dresser.

Now he stands in front of the bronze beaded mirror and he can feel Troye there. He can feel his lanky arms and his lips and can hear his delicate laugh.

And now, Connor feels like shit.

He feels like shit and it's not even his fault.

Now isn't that a horrible thing?

a/n

hiiii guys. I have a oneshot almost done and it's over 2000 words so get ready for it.

how have you guys been??

wanna rant??

ily