blue | a collection of tronnor oneshots

unsteady

if you love me, don't let go

Their hands would intertwine as they laid on a mattress that was always to soft or to hard,  though neither of them noticed to much.

Entranced by eyes, mouths, touch, anything that came from the other without disturbing the peace. It was like this every night when it'd hit seven and both newly weds would lay next to each other and stare for hours, as if they were scared that if they didn't memorize each other then, they'd never get the chance again.

They had both made a lot of mistakes, Troye cutting off his family and Connor spending a bit to much money, but as they stared at each other from under thick lashes and observant pupils, none of that mattered.

They were safe, broken and in debt, but safe.

They were safe the way drug addicts are clean and alcoholics are sober. To them they were guarded but to everyone else around them they were dancing on a bed of flames in nothing but their underwear.

Troye moved his hand to cup Connors jaw, trying to ease the pain he knew would be waiting for him once he leaves the bed they laid in.

They weren't good for each other, and everyone knew. Connor was addicted to spending and Troye shut people out, but they didn't care. They knew being together was a death wish, a desperate suicide attempt. The constant fights, the cruel words of others, the pain buried so deep sometimes neither of them could talk.

Hovered over in bathrooms or clenching where their hearts were supposed to be before they wished them gone, hoping David Bowie would appear and do the honors.

Instead, they did it for each other, fighting until they couldn't breath and rubbing each others backs as they cried. They were slowly killing each other and trying their hardest to speed up the process.

They were done, they didn't want anymore pain or anymore darkness. They didn't want anymore life, definitely not like this.

And I think that's why they laid in bed every night at seven a clock, why they stared at each other like they were the cure to a horrible curse, why they got married just to make sure they wouldn't live for to much longer.

Slowly, they'd tear each other apart and it'd be grand. But until then.

"Hold onto me." Troye says, pulling Connor closer. "Cause I'm a little unsteady."

-

a/n

i honestly had so much to say in this a/n but i've forgotten so

(listen to unsteady by x ambassadors I attached the vid )