Dear Nick

Rock Bottom

The celebration in my honor was amazing & I didn't want it to end. I was having an amazing time, the entire night & I even managed to forget that Joe was there. I saw him & Demi in a corner, toward the end of the party & it looked like they were arguing. He looked pretty pissed & she looked like she just got in trouble. Her gaze caught mine & her face brightened up, like nothing was wrong. I smirked at her, letting her know I wasn't stupid.

At one point in the evening, Walter came up to me with a guy he wanted to introduce me to. His name was Frank & he owned a vintage car repair shop. Walter had told him that I specialized in mechanics & Frank gave me his card, then told me to come by the shop on Monday so he could show me around. He pretty much said the job was mine. His lead mechanic retired the month before & he needed a new one. I was grateful, no doubt.

The party wrapped at around one in the morning & as I was ready to leave, I saw Walter hugging my mom. She had a goofy grin on her face as Walter walked away from her. "Mom? You okay?" I asked her as I got closer.

"He wants to take me to dinner one night this week, while he's still in town."

"That's great. He's an amazing guy, but you know he lives in Michigan, right?"

She nodded, still smiling. "It isn't serious yet. I'm not planning a future with him yet. I'm not even supposed to be pursuing a relationship until I've been sober for a year, ya know?"

"You've been sober for a month?" I asked & she nodded. "Well, maybe you can just be friends." I smirked & she gave me a 'mom' look, but it was a look I hadn't seen in so long that it tugged on my heartstrings. "Do you need a ride, Mom?" 

A big smile appeared on my mom's face & I loved seeing her look so radiant. My mom was gorgeous, I must say. "You called me, Mom." She choked out. "Yes, I could use a ride home. Thank you."

"Sure." I held out my arm for her to link hers through & we headed out to my car. As I started driving to her house, she didn't say much at first. "Thank you for coming, tonight." I said, to break the silence.

I heard her chuckle, quietly. "Thank you for coming or thank you for not getting drunk & embarrassing me?"

I had to laugh at that, because the thought had entered my mind. "Thank you for coming & being there to support me."

Mom turned her head to look at me. "Thank you for letting me come. It was all I wanted." She said, her voice quiet. I looked at her sideways, a little confused. "You're the reason I got sober & you're the reason I am going to stay sober."

"Me? After all these years?" I asked, letting out a short laugh of disbelief. When I looked at her, she had a weird look on her face, a mixture of sadness & regret. "What's different now, Mom? Why all the sudden are you wanting to be sober & why am I the reason?"

"I haven't been sober for this long since you were a little boy." She said, turning to look out the windshield. I could see her eyes were shiny with the hint of tears. "I never thought anything would happen to you. But then I heard you came close to dying while in Iraq & when it sunk in hours later, it sobered me up. That was my rock bottom, son. The thought of losing you before I could apologize & make up for being a shitty mom, was my rock bottom. I also started seeing a psychiatrist." She closed her mouth & turned her head to face away from me.

"I'm glad, Mom. I think you need to see someone because I think you have some sort of depression. I learned a lot about it, while I was in bootcamp because a guy I got close with had bipolar. Some of the things he would tell me, I realized that you did the same thing."

Her head snapped back around to look at me. "That's what they diagnosed me with. So now, I'm getting help. I think I can stay sober this time. I feel really good & I don't want to go back to the way I was feeling before."