Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter four

Not one message. Not one, of my parents or my 'friends' I feel so alone. It's been 3 weeks and I can feel myself slowly getting worse. Every night im sneaking out to get high and have sex with Kieron. Im never happy, im slowly slipping from reality and I need to be constantly high to feel good. The boys have noticed as well they always question why I look so tired they even tried finding out what made my parents snap and ship me of the Australia. I refused to tell them anything though. Except Jai, every night when I came back from a party I would sneak in his room and we would just lay there together and talk about everything. He listened to me, almost as if he truly cared. There has been two occasions where we nearly kissed but I stopped myself. The last thing I want to do is hurt him.

The bad part of this is that the voices are coming back, my sleep has disintegrated. Sometimes when we are sat at the dinner table and someone calls me 'Char' I have to grip onto the table to hold back me screaming and losing my shit. That's the name he used to call me. Before he hurt me.

Today has been a very bad day. I haven't left my room. As I'm watching the cloud of smoke fill my room I get a text of Kieron indicating me that he's here. Its currently 8pm and im about to go to a party, I lock my door and climb out my window. I quietly climb into his car and im instantly roughly attacked by Kieron with kisses. He pulls me on top of him and begins to undress me. I don't feel a single thing with him; it's just mindless rough sex. It's okay though because I know he feels the same. I can't help but wish it was Jai though.

After our heated moment we arrive at the party. We both instantly head over to the couch where everyone's getting high. As I snort the cocaine up my nose, im immediately passed a splif. Now this is what I call fun. I feel euphoric; like every bad thing in my life hasn't happened. But all of a sudden it all comes rushing back, being forced to do the one thing every girl should be able to choose when to do. To being told I was never wanted, to when I crashed that car and nearly killed my once best friend.

I have to leave I have to get out of here. So I rush out and start running home. I slam open the door and start clutching my hair as the voices come back.

'Its your fault'

'You're a mistake! Just kill yourself'

'Remember when he raped you, he should've killed you as well'

I scream and scream and clutch my head "STOP PLEASE STOP, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I hear a bunch of footsteps rushing towards me, and I realise it's the boys they try and shake me but I push them of screaming. "ITS MY FAULT I HATE MYSELF I SHOULD BE DEAD" "No Char please calm down its okay we are here for you" James says to me clinging onto me so I don't do anything stupid. "please stop calling me that he called me that" I cry. "I didn't want him to, I told him no I told him to stop, why didn't he stop?" The tears wont stop coming. "what do you mean charlotte did someone do something to you?" I just nod and scream as the voices came back.

'Oh great look who's attention seeking now bitch'

"James please make it stop please make the voices stop" I cry, and for the first time I look around notice all the boys shaking and crying their eyes out. I notice im clinging onto Jai and James is on my other side clinging onto my hand. I jump up suddenly scared. What if they hurt me to?

"Charlotte what's wrong?" Jai asked. "Please stay away please don't hurt me" I plead. "Charlotte we are not going to hurt you we are always going to be here we wont leave you alone ever okay?"

Oh the wonderful power of lying.