Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter Nineteen

AN- I would just like to say anyone who is the weight Charlotte is in this story is not in any way fat but as she has an eating problem she just thinks she is when she isn't. So please don't think I am saying you are fat because you aren't and you are all beautiful. Also I have started a new story called Rehab if you could check it out that would be great!

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I step onto the scales and see that I have lost just over a stone. I am now 8 and half stone. I look into the mirror and all the feeling of being proud that I lost over a stone was vanished when I see the fat on my stomach. I am disgusting. I clutch onto the disgusting flesh and scratch at it. Letting the tears fall. It has been 2 weeks and things have only got worse. We had Jack's funeral it was awful. I cried all day and nearly passed out at one point, im assuming because I hadn't eaten in 5 days straight. Sometimes I have to eat something in front of the boys so they don't suspect anything but when they are out of ear shot I throw it back up. I can't be fat, I can't. The hate hasn't changed still the same things. I don't know how much more I can take. Cook gets out of prison soon; I really don't need him on my case. He doesn't know about Jack I haven't had the energy to tell him, plus I can only visit him if he asks me too.

I go downstairs to everyone including Kiana, oh great. They are all outside in the garden in the pool. 'Hey babe why don't you go put your bikini on and join us' Jai says whilst I bend down to kiss him. 'Um no im fine not in the mood today sorry.' I say and I just sit on the side dipping my legs in. 'Oh okay that's fine' he says swimming off. I look over at Kiana and she is screaming in that horrible voice at Luke for jokingly splashing her. 'Luke! You got my hair wet for god sakes I have got a shoot soon!' he just rolls his eyes. 'That is all you ever go on about just have some fun for once' he says back getting pissed off. 'Char isn't being fun and you don't moan at her!' she whines. Oh im not fun am I? I scoff at her and jump in, Im only wearing a baggy top so who cares. 'Hey that's the spirit' Jai says laughing. I laugh and glance at Kiana who is glaring at me. 'Urgh you are such a bitch Charlotte how do you even have Jai!'

'Because im not a superficial, clingy, boring, bitch like you.' I say with sarcasm in my voice. Everyone laughs and she storms off saying she has to go to her shoot. Luke just ignores her and swims over to us. We are all splashing each other and squirting water guns at each other, and I almost forget about all this shit going on. I walk over to Lucy who is now lying on a sunbed. 'Hey Lu, how are you?' I say. 'Hey Char im good thanks hey nice work on that Kiana shit earlier. That was hilarious.'

I laugh 'She deserves it, it's so obvious Luke doesn't even like her like why doesn't he just end it.' I say

'I think he is only doing it to get over you.' She says warily glancing at me.

'I shouldn't have ever gone there with him it was so unfair. We both knew I loved Jai.'

'Char don't worry about it honestly; you were a different person back then. You have changed a lot since.'

'Wait you don't think Kiana knows about me and Luke do you? Oh shit she must that's why she hates me'

'Oh trust me that girl hates everyone'

'Anyways Char please teach me your diet your like a twig now teach me your ways' she laughs.

'Um I don't know I just cut back all the shit I ate. Plus I don't really drink as much now' I say warily. This is the first time since we went to the beach that someone has commented on my weight. She is probably only saying it to be nice.

She just laughs and we both head back inside to get changed. I go and grab my clothes and head to the bathroom. 'Char, where are you going?' Lucy laughs. I used to not care about getting changed in front of people but now I can't stand it, even in front of Jai I feel so awkward. I just awkwardly walk back and turn away from Lucy quickly changing into my baggy PINK jumper and Nike leggings. We head back downstairs to see the boys all on the sofa watching Skins. I go and sit next to Jai and cuddle into him. 'You can sit on my lap you know' he chuckles. 'Oh no its fine I can't be squishing you' I laugh. I will squish him if I do I can't do that. He looks confused then lets it go. I don't blame him the old me would have stripped infornt of everyone and not care. The old me would eat 4 orders of maccas in one day and not give a shit. But the old me died the day he did. And the old me wont be coming back. Which is both good and bad.