Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter eleven

Songs-

Crazy- Melanie Martinez

James made me leave Kieron's which highly annoyed me but if I'm honest I did miss the boys a bit. They won't know that though. On the car ride home I was in the back seat with jai next to me as I took the window seat. He slowly edged his hand on top of mine. I didn't move I just left it there. He smiled out of the corner of my eye but I just had the same emotionless face staring out the window. When we got back the boys suggested we have a beach day. I agreed after a lot of nagging. I went upstairs and changed into my black triangl bikini and but on my Van Halen crop top with my denim levis. I headed downstairs to see the boys waiting for me.

Shortly after we arrived at the beach and I have to say it kind of felt good not leaving the house just to get fucked. The waves relaxed my nerves, all the boys went straight into the sea, whilst I just lay down and sunbathed. I felt someone sitting next to me so I looked up to see Jai. He just sat there for a while until he finally spoke up.

'Hey why don't you come in the water?'

'No im good here' I said sitting up. He left to go back to the boys with a sigh.

They kept messing around and pissing of the public, whilst Luke filmed it all. They are such idiots sometimes like seriously im surprised they don't get knocked out. I Certainly would if I didn't know them.

****Back at home****

Im sitting in my room, on my bed, just staring at the wall. When all of sudden there's a big crash and I see Jack falling onto my floor from my window. I just stare at him. Ever since the party me and him have had a bit of a thing, but since I stayed with Kieron I haven't spoken to him. I could tell he was catching feelings, which is something neither of us do. He looked so upset and confused. He finally spoke up after staring at me for a while.

'Somethings changed in you toward me; you're distant, and cold. I don't know what I've done, but I'll leave you alone from now on if that's what you want. Is that what you want?' he says struggling to stop tears falling down his face. I don't have any strength to reply so I just sit there staring at him. I don't even notice im crying until my tears start falling on my bare arms.

'SAY SOMETHING AHHHHH' he shouts clutching his repeatedly banging his hands against it. 'Please say something please, I need you, you're the only light in my life' he says beginning to lose all strength he had left in him. I feel so guilty, I knew he had problems but I never thought he had feelings this strong.

You see with Jack, he is borderline psycho. He has a fear of losing things, and can't stand it when he's out of control. He can also get very angry very quickly. I know that he's killed a few people in fights, but it doesn't bother me. Who am I to judge? Im the exact same except I haven't killed anyone.

'Im sorry' I say with a pained voice and expression. He's the only person I can truly show my emotions to. Only because he understands.

He knows where my heart truly lies and that's with Jai, and I know that kills him. I actually care about Jack so much, that's why I cant lie to him. 'You know who I love, I cant keep hurting you. I don't want to lose you Jack' I say my voice shaky.

'That's the thing Charlotte; I lost myself a long time ago.'

'Just go Jack'

'NO IM NOT GOING'

'GO AWAY JACK GO AWAY'

'YOU'RE ALL I WANT, YOU'RE ALL I HAVE'

'GO AWAY!' I scream and just like that he left. And I have never felt pain like it. I lost my breath and started hyperventilating. I slid down onto the floor against my bed. I began hysterically crying and screaming. Its all my fault everything, I'm really struggling to cope with myself. I don't know how much longer I can take this insanity. I remember when I changed into this monster. It was like a switch went of. All my emotions towards people turned of. I lost everyone apart from my now ex best friend Carter.  I nearly killed her. I still think about finding the man who crashed our car  and made Carter lose all of her memory. I sometimes wish it was me lost their memory. I have to much shit to think about.

'Its your fault that  car crashed and its your fault she doesn't even know who anyone is'

'Stupid bitch Jai doesn't love you, Jack does'

'Not anymore'

'Your all alone now bitch'

'Just do it, end it'

'AHHHHHH' I scream banging my hands against my head I wish these voices would just fuck of. James, Jai and Luke bursts into the room. 'Char it's okay shhh, shhh its okay we are here it's okay.' Jai says hugging me close. 'I've lost everything' I scream and cry. I can't stop crying.

I've now officially lost my mind.