Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter eighteen

It's been three weeks now. Things have only got a tiny bit better. I don't have any nightmares now, thank god. However, I honestly see no hope for myself I've always been a lost cause, but now I have no life ahead of me. I see no happy future for me at all. My heart feels like it's about to fall out of my stomach, everything I do is so much effort, and even though im so tired I never get any sleep. I haven't gone near any drugs; I can't im too scared to because of what they did to not only Jack but me. It's not until you come of them, that you realise what type of person you had become.

The fans found out about me too, it was only a matter of time. Some were lovely. But there were quite a lot horrible ones. I would get tweets sent to me saying 'You're a hopeless druggie lol leave' and 'Ew you're so fat! Lose a bit of weight before going near my boys please!' they hurt a lot but I didn't tell the boys about it because I don't want to come between them. And for some reason they knew I used to do drugs, I don't know how.

I decided to get out of bed and go downstairs to eat something. I walked into the kitchen to see Jai, James and skip. 'Hey' I say quietly, they all reply with 'Good morning' I sit down and pour myself some cereal whilst scrolling through twitter. Im about to start eating when I see about 15 tweets saying stuff like 'Lose weight now!' 'Ew god help James having to say he's related to that fat bitch' and 'Im surprised she's so chubby with all the drugs she's on, let's hope she overdoses' My heart sinks and I bite my lip so I don't cry. I put my spoon back and carry on looking at all of them. 'Hey Char aren't you gunna eat that?' James asks gaining everyone's attention that was once on their phones. 'No I feel sick actually, you have it' I say quietly, looking down. 'Char, what's going on I know you're lying' He says suddenly noticing im on twitter. 'You're getting hate aren't you? Fuck sakes ignore it! They are not worth it' he says taking my phone to read it, but I take it of him. 'No, im not I just feel sick!' I say getting angry. 'Alright I'm just worried because you don't need any extra stress at the moment' he says worriedly.

Thank god, that was close. I can't have them finding out about this, I don't want to attention seek. It's fine I will just deal with it myself and once I've lost a bit of weight it will stop right? That's the problem, I will just reduce how much I eat and lose weight.

**** 1 week later****

'Omg does she not have any lips Jesus Christ ew lmfao' 'At least Lucy contours and is pretty, Charlotte is just ew I will pay for her to fix her face and for her to lose weight. Those poor boys'

Oh

It's not just my weight; I need to look prettier to. I stumble over to my mirror and just stare. I wipe away my tears as I stare at my ugly reflection. No matter what I do, I always look ugly. Jack must be so ashamed of me right now. I miss him so much right now. He would be hugging me right now telling me how beautiful I am. I know Jai would do the same but he doesn't know so im alone in this one. I just want them to like me.

I haven't eaten in 4 days and I've gone past the point of being hungry. I mean every now and then I want to eat but I can't. At first I would just have an apple or something, but now the thought of food makes me feel sick.

I feel like with all this going on, the past three days I have slowly stopped grieving. Yeah it's not getting any easier to forget or to stop missing him. I want to move on, he would want me to but it's so hard. I feel like my world is falling apart, I feel like the boys are losing hope for me. I can't have them send me away so I am going to have to act normal. I walk downstairs to see everyone, including Lucy and this other girl. 'Hey who's this?' I ask them. 'Im Kiana, Im Luke's Girlfriend.' She says emphasising that she was Luke's girlfriend, smirking and looking me up and down as if I was the scum of the earth. I already didn't like her. She was nothing like Lucy, Lucy when I first met her hugged me and we talked for hours. Kiana she stayed firmly sat on Luke's lap clinging onto him like her life depended on it. She never asked who I was, she just went back to looking on her phone right after; rude. It was silent for 5 minutes until I spoke. 'Im Charlotte thanks for asking. Oh im with Jai. You probably couldn't tell as im not clinging onto him like a banshee' I say tilting my head to the side whilst smirking. She glared at me and rolled her eyes. 'Well maybe it's because you're so irrelevant, I don't care' Oh wow and she thinks that will offend me. I already know that.

'Oh honey please, im not in this house to get attention or become 'relevant' and its clear that's all you give a shit about. Let's see how far you get with that.' I say smirking.

She shuts up after that and I look at all the boys and they try and hold back laughs, except Luke he looks awkward. I take it they don't like her either. I sit next to Jai and Lucy, and Jai whispers in my ear. 'None of us like her don't worry' I turn to him and laugh. 'I figured'

'Im glad you're in a better mood today gorgeous' he says kissing my cheek. I smile whilst Beau speaks up. 'Hey lets go to the beach' oh no I can't go out in a bikini. 'Yeah okay' Jai replies. He then whispers in my ear, 'Are you up for that? We don't have to. It might take your mind of things'

Me and Lucy head up to my room to get ready, leaving Kiana with Luke. Thank god. 'Hey Lu why is that Kiana bitch such a...... well bitch' I laugh. She starts laughing 'I don't like her either, but she kisses my arse I don't know why. I don't know why she hates you though. Probably just jealous you got the better twin' she says laughing. 'Hey Char, im always here you know that right? I've seen the hate you get, and im not stupid I know you've lost weight.' She says worriedly. 'Please don't tell the boys I don't want to come in-between them and their fans' I say frowning. 'Okay I won't, but you have to promise me your still eating okay?' oh shit.

'I promise'

***At the beach***

We arrived at the beach. I chose to wear my pink triangl bikini, it made me look tanned; even though im already olive skinned. I had my wavy hair in a bun with some strands hanging out. I wore my nirvana shirt with my levis. Kiana wore a black bikini with thong-like bottoms, and nothing on top. Lucy wore pretty much the same as me but a black crop top and a black triangl bikini. We all ran to the sand and chose a spot. Everyone took their clothes of, but I remained in my shorts and top. 'Char c'mon, were going in the water.' Jai says. I slowly take my clothes of and instantly wrap my arms around my stomach. I see Kiana look my up and down and laugh at me. Jai holds my arms and pulls them away, 'You're beautiful don't cover up' he says kissing my forehead. I just follow them and run into the water. The quicker I can hide my body the better. Jai comes up behind me and spins me around in the water. 'Jai stop it' I shriek laughing. Kiana glares at me and turns to Luke 'Luke spin me around!' she whines like a child who didn't get what they want. She is so pathetic. 'Luke spin me around!' I mimic in a whiney voice to Jai only for him to hear. He laughs 'She is so pathetic' he laughs. We all headed back to shore after a while and me and Lucy decided to sunbathe. We sat up and spoke for a bit. ' So how's tings with Daniel going?' I ask. 'Amazing, I feel like I've finally found the right person for me. We just click. And he's great in bed' she giggles. 'Okay Lu I dint need to know that' I laugh. 'How's Jai?' she says winking. 'Amazing he's been great helping me with Jack. He has been so patient and I feel like maybe I can get over it soon' I say my eyes tearing up. 'I will never forget but I will hopefully move on' I say letting a few tears fall. Lucy hugs me 'You are so brave, honestly I admire you. Im so glad me and you are friends.' She says smiling. 'Me too, it's a shame that bitch has to be a tag along.' I say nodding towards Kiana. 'I know, I don't think he actually likes her. She is such a bitch. She always has to rub it in fans faces as well. Its funny cause half their fans hate her too.'

'Im not surprised.' I say.

***4 hours later***

'Hey we should head back now' Beau says we all agree and get back into the car. I sit next to Jai and Skip. I hold Jai's hand and lean my head against his chest.

He kisses my head, 'I love you' he says.

'I love you too' I say smiling falling fast asleep.