Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter seven

Shortly after we got back, Beau suggested we go out to dinner. I tried to refuse because going out to eat is not good for me. I'd rather not have a breakdown in public. We arrived at a place called five guys; I've never been here as I never go out to eat. The boys are messing around and shouting stupid shit out like who can say penis the loudest. It's so embarrassing. I just sit there and look around at all the families here, all the groups of friends here; this is something I never had because I just use people and as for my 'family' they always hated me I was just a waste of space to them. My last 'friend' at my old school I only had her as a friend because I knew she wouldn't get with any of the guys I was with.

It's funny because I never actually liked them but I hate it if they don't want me. It makes me feel like im worthless and im nothing. I notice a very good looking waiter coming towards us and I smirk at him. He looks our age and im sure I've seen him before. 'Charlotte what a coincidence' he says 'Im sorry do I know you?'

 'Im Jack, Kieron's best mate?' and then I remembered he tried getting with me a few times but before I could Kieron would always take me away. 'So what can I get you all today?' Jack asked not taking his eyes of me. I knew what he wanted and he knew he was going to get it. The boys ordered and then it came to me, 'Oh im not that hungry I'll eat when I get home' I reply. 'No charlotte you have to eat something I never see you eat!' Luke replied. They all act as if im going to break or that im ill. 'Fine I will have a small fries please with water.' I say to jack who was smirking. 'Im just going to go to the toilet be right back.' I look over at Jai who looks partly mad and confused but not shocked, he knows what im like.

I sit on the unit next to the sink and light up a cigarette; Jack opens the door smoothly and locks it behind him. 'You're a very bad girl, I like bad' I passed him the cigarette with a smirk on my face. He exhales it and breathes it back in feeling relaxed. 'Kieron won't be too pleased about this' he exclaims. 'Kieron doesn't have to know' I reply. And he doesn't it's no longer any of his business if he wants me he can come chase me.

******

I return to our table with a small smile on my face. The boys however have already left and gone. Looks like they can't handle me getting laid Jesus. I begin to walk home and light up a cig, I can't be bothered to go home so I just walk around to the park I went to when I first moved here. I just stare into space and think about how messed up I really am. A few tears escape but I stop them before my makeup smudges. I probably look so dark and depressing but that just reflects my mood. I have dark Smokey eye with dark eyeliner, im wearing a very short casual lilac dress with black laced tights and black combat boots.

I decide to head on 'home' as it's getting dark. I walk inside to hear shouting, nothing new there. I saw the boys playing FIFA, oh god this isn't gunna end well, and they always end up screaming and throwing shit around. I stand by the door way and just stare at them. Im a little pissed they made me walk for an hour just because they couldn't wait. They all noticed my presence and said hey. 'Oh hi it's nice to know that whilst I was walking for an hour by myself in the freezing cold you were playing FIFA' I rudely remarked. 'Charlotte we are sorry but you were taking ages and we needed to get back to film a video.' Daniel replied. 'Whatever I had the best shag so it was worth it.' I looked over to Jai and smirked knowing he would be wound up. He looked pissed and upset; I don't know why he knew I was like this. I hated being like this but it's the only way I can forget about everything.

Seeing him angry at me made me realise that he actually does care about me. I thought it was all lies. Im scared, he makes me feel whole, he is the closest I've been to being happy and I don't know what to do with that feeling, so I guess I just fuck everything up as always.

Jai storms out the room and my smirk immediately turns into a frown. I start breathing quickly and my eyes falter I look around the room to see Luke looking pissed as well and the others looking concerned. 'Charlotte are you okay?' I start to pant and I run outside, I lean over and throw up the little food I ate today. Tears start streaming down my face and I just run, I run to the park which now seems to be my safe haven. I sit down on the bench and just stare into space. That is until this girl comes and sits next to me. 'You know smoking is bad for you, it causes cancer, lung disease and you get really bad breath. You look so cool we should be best friends, I don't have any friend's im Dakota nice to meet you' she sticks her hand out to me which I don't return. 'Charlotte' I bluntly reply whilst placing my cigarette back in my mouth. She begins rambling about pointless stuff, god does she ever shut up. 'I've seen you around here before, you do drugs don't you? I've seen you with that lot.' She must be observant I've never seen her before. 'Yep wanna join the club?' I pull out a splif and light it.

'I don't know my mum says it's bad for you'

'Do you always do as you're told?'

'Oh fine give us it here then' she smokes it and begins to cough. I laugh at her because she clearly has never smoked before. I liked that she was so innocent. I always change the innocent bad.