Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter twenty

*1 week later*

I wake up to the sun blinding its way through my eyes. I squint and stretch my arms above my head. I feel Jai's arm tighten around my waist as I go to get up. I feel very uncomfortable what if he can feel all the fat on my stomach. He must be so repulsed by me. It's crazy to think that when I first came here I was so confident. I had everyone around my finger, everyone loved me. Now things are even more fucked up, one of my best friends killed himself and it was all my fault. I push his arm off me and walk down the hallway into the bathroom. I strip of my clothes leaving me only in a bra and underwear. I step onto the scales to see I have gained 2 pounds. Oh no.

I lean my hands against the sink and look into the mirror. I let a sob escape whilst fisting my hair.

'Char? What's going on?' I hear a voice ask. I look up to see Luke staring at me worriedly. 'Charlotte, why are you crying?' He asks looking towards the scales I had once just stepped on. I let an exasperated cry and wipe my tears away. 'Just go Luke' I say with a sad tone in my voice.

'Charlotte... you know you can talk to me right? If there is anything you know... going on.' He says looking at the scales and my scratched stomach I clawed at in hatred only a mere 10 minutes ago.

He knows.

***

I'm sat at the dinner table with everyone and Luke won't stop staring at me. I glance at him then look down. I have managed to keep everyone fooled for weeks, and now he knows. Everyone is laughing and eating breakfast and im just sat here, nibbling on my sausage and egg McMuffin. I feel disgusting. 'You okay babe, you not hungry?' Jai asks like the caring person he is.

'No im fine.' I say glancing towards Luke who is still staring at me. I can see Kiana getting annoyed at the attention Luke is giving me and not her. Jai kisses the top of my head and goes back to eating his maccas. I feel so uncomfortable. What if Luke tells Kiana?

'I'm going to the toilet' I excuse myself. I walk into the toilet and lean against the sink panting trying to hold back the tears. Everything that has happened suddenly came to mind and I feel like there is no escape. Shit

Panic attack.

My breath picks up and I am gripping tighter onto the sink, my tears start falling and I slide down to the floor. I pick up my phone and look at all the mean tweets everyone sent me. They are right. Ever since coming here I have never been happy. I am not good for Jai, all I do is remind him of his dead best friend. I crawl over to the toilet and stick my fingers down my throat, getting rid of the little food I had eaten today. I hear the door open and see Luke rushing in by my side after closing the door. 'Charlotte what is going on.' He sees my phone by my side and slowly takes it. And for the first time in weeks I let him see what I have been dealing with. He is the only one apart from Lucy who knows. Lucy thinks im fine though, I have told her it doesn't bother me. Luke looks up at me with teary eyes. I let out a tired sigh and let more tears fall. He hugs me tightly.

'Charlotte why didn't you tell us, Is this why you aren't eating?' he questions. I let my silence do the answering for me. He sighs and hugs me closer. 'You should go Luke it won't look good.'

'I will always be here, you should tell Jai.'

'No! he can't know please say nothing to anyone!' I say desperately. He just nods and leaves, I stand up and look at myself in the mirror and screw my face up in disgust. I fix my face up and walk back downstairs to see everyone in the living room watching film. I join them sitting next to Jai and Skip. 'Hey girlfriend' Skip says in a really gay voice.

'Sup faggot' I say jokingly. I love skip he is like the older brother I never had. He ruffles my hair and I lean into Jai kissing his neck before nuzzling into him and watching the film. He wraps his arm around me and intertwines our fingers. I don't know how he hasn't got fed up of me yet, unless he has he's just too polite to say anything.