Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter nine

I've now been here for 6 weeks. Me and Jai haven't spoken as much as we used to and it hasn't bothered me at all until now. I'm sitting in my room, downing a bottle of vodka trying to drown the pain and the voices in the back of my head. I have distanced so much from all the boys except Luke and James. James is constantly trying to talk to me and make me food and he even sat in my room for 4 hours with me whilst I just stared out my window completely abandoned from reality. I feel bad for him, he was forced to take me on, he doesn't need an emotionally fucked up 17 year old to take care of. I've become so good at hiding that I don't know who I

And as for Luke I'm not with him he's just an occasional fuck, he agreed that that's all it was. He sneaks out with me when I go out to get drunk and high, I never thought Luke was this type but he was, even before me. He reminded me of myself before Jai came into my life and made me weak. He was so guarded and he was great at masking his emotions. Just like me, ever since Jai had sex with Zoe I've re built my walls. I truly loved him, but what is love ever good for? Nothing. I don't blame him at all it was my entire fault I pushed him I angered him. He was just lucky to get out of my trap. Boy did he play me at my own game.

I Have now drank a whole bottle of vodka and I decide to have a quick smoke. I think about all my screw ups. Jai was the first person I let myself love since 'he' ruined it. And I fucked it up. No one understands what being raped does to you, I physically can't let anyone in. But with Jai I could and it scared me so much.

To my surprise Jai came into my room. I teared up immediately, he came running over and hugged me 'Hey what's wrong? Charlotte its okay im here now im so sorry for not talking to you' he said with regret and sadness in his voice. I clung onto him for dear life and we just laid there for hours on end like we used to when I would sneak back in at 3am. And just like that I felt whole again.

'Jai?'

'Yes?'

'Thanks for loving me'

Jai's POV

'Thanks for loving me' she said with no emotion on her face. All of us have noticed Charlottes going downhill. She's lost so much weight, I practically never see her eat at all. She only leaves her room to go out with those 'friends' of hers. And im not stupid I know Luke and her have been fucking, I know he goes out with her as well. It bothers me but I can't do anything because im partly the reason she's gone even worse than before.

Or maybe she hasn't got worse? Maybe this is how she's always been and no one has payed enough attention. We all knew she had a drug problem and that she liked to sleep around. But we all knew she only did it to forget. James was beginning to get really concerned about her so later we were gunna ring her parents and ask them exactly what is going on with her.

'I better go Char - shit sorry Charlotte'

'Its fine see you later' she smiled at me.

I went downstairs to hear James on the phone. 'Can you please tell me what the hell has happened to her?!' yeah he was talking to her parents. I went into the living room and left him to it, about 20 minutes later he came into the room with a look of despair on his face. 'James what's wrong?'

'They told me what happened to her, and since we all live together I think its best you all know so you can watch out for her.'

'Okay what happened?' I've never felt so nervous before, Ever.

'She was raped, by her ex-boyfriend. That's when it all went wrong for her. She got into drugs and drinking and constantly snuck out until the next morning, I reckon that's why she sleeps around to make herself feel good when he didn't. Then just a few months before she came here, her friend asked Charlotte to drive, because she was to drunk. So she did then out of nowhere a drunk driver came speeding towards them and sent the car spiralling into a ditch. Charlotte was stuck there trying to get her friend out and as she was dragging her out the car, it exploded. Her friend was stuck in a coma for 2 months. She survived but doesn't remember anything or anyone. Im guessing Charlotte blames herself. She got worse got banned from college for having sex and doing drugs on site. So her parents kicked her out and sent her here.' James explained with tears running down his face.

'Who the fuck told you that?' a voice said from the doorway. Fuck, 'Oh didn't take my mum long then, im surprised she lasted this long without telling you how much of a shit, fucked up person I really am.' She said. No tears no emotion, nothing. She looked dead, almost as if the beautiful soul inside her died.