Remember When ↠ l.p.

The most perfect Thanksgiving

For the most part Thanksgiving lunch is a success. There was a dish that got a bit burned and another that Cailyn spilled after she tried to pass down the table, but underestimated how heavy the dish was. The table was abuzz with laughter and conversation, everyone was having a great time. As people were pushing away their plates and adjusting the waistband of their pants, mother offered to clear up the dishes. I didn't take much persuading, since I hate doing the dishes. That's what dishwashers are for, right? 

Harry is half-carrying Louis who is holding Darcy cradled in his arms. She fell asleep halfway through lunch and her own meal. Harry said it is normal for her to get a little sleepy while eating and reassured everyone she would wake up a little later. Louis coos down at her while leaning against Harry and standing on his toes, while Harry wraps an arm around Louis' waist and shuffles forward slowly. I snort and edge around them only to be caught by strong arms wrapping around my own waist. I groan and shift Liam's arms up a little, away from my painfully full stomach.  

He leans forward to see my face, frowning in confusion and loosening his arms around me. "No, it's fine," I reassure him. "I'm just quite full so my stomach feels like it could pop at any minute." I pull his arms closer around me by tugging on his elbow. We've been in a weird place. As stupid as it sounds, we've not really discussed things further. Instead we have fallen into this odd little place where we're affectionate with each other and it almost does feel like we're truly a family, they way he helps me put the girls to bed and helps with dinners and such. There has been a lot of cuddling but nothing past that. I don't know whether I should be disappointed by this or content that I've still not had to make any sort of decision about our relationship. Or, rather, that we haven't been forced to yet. It makes me wonder, dangerously so, if it couldn't work out between us. This limbo of sorts hasn't caused in problems and seems like it shouldn't. It's just enough to make me yearn for another taste and just a little more.

Glancing up at Liam as we sit down on the couch, very closely to each other, I wonder if he feels the same way as I do. A little scared, a little relieved and very curious and tempted. A delicious mix of emotions. I know that, logically, this is the fairy-tale stage-or the honeymoon period-where everything seems perfect and like we could take on anything so long as we have each other. Knowing that doesn't stop me from relishing in how wonderful it feels to have someone to bring me a cuppa from the kitchen and then join me in a cuddle beneath my blankets. It can't make me ignore how nice it is to have someone besides my parents to talk about the girls, someone who knows them well enough and can offer good advice and step-up and help with them when I'm too tired to. 

It often feels like we've skipped so many stages. Shouldn't getting to know each other and first kisses come before meeting each others' children? Instead of going through a proper dating stage we've been great friends and a shoulder to cry upon to one another. We've supported each other through difficult times and begun to raise our daughters together, hand in hand. Is it possible to have some sense of normality in our relationship when it's so mismatched? 

I take a deep breath and scoot a little closer to Liam, who places a hand on my thigh and pats it gently. I wish I didn't have so much doubt about this relationship. There hasn't been a thing that has gone wrong this past week and I find myself doubting my judgment. Is Liam right in thinking that things could work and it's as simple as that? I smile across the room to mother as she sits next to dad with Tessie on her lap, talking very animatedly about something to the two of them. I could use some objectivity, I'll try to catch mother alone later for a chat. Until then, I simply need to enjoy tonight and having my family here with me.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks me softly as he tucks one of my hands underneath his own and squeezes it slightly. If there's something that hasn't surprised me about this past week and the affection that we've shown to each other, it's how sweet Liam has been. He shows an extraordinary amount of attention but manages to not make it feel like he's smothering me and never leaving me alone. I suppose it's both his own personality and his previous experience, having been married before-something I try to forget. "You seem pretty lost in thought."