Remember When ↠ l.p.

Bambi

"Mom!!" Tessie comes running into the living room with tears running down her cheeks and holding out her arms for me.

"What's wrong?" I ask and I pull her onto my lap. "Did Cailyn do something?"

"No," she answers shakily, her lip trembling as she gasps through her tears. "I was watching bambi and I forgot what happened and then I got really really sad." She makes it through her explanation slowly, stopping for a breath or to try and rub her face free of tears.

"Like with the first time we watched it together?" I kiss her head gently and squeeze her gently. I warned Tessie that she might not enjoy bambi, having already found out from the lion king that she hated character death, but that character death when the characters were animals was far worse.

"Yeah." She nods and tries to wrap her arms around my waist, but struggling to get them all the way around. "But this time I got scared, you're not going to leave me right mummy?" She looks up at me with watery eyes and a slightly snotty nose. My heart stutters and I feel my eyes welling up in response to how sweet and genuinely worried she is about losing me. I know it's wrong, but I'm a little pleased. Every affirmation that I get that Tessie has accepted me and loves me makes unspeakably happy. I just feel horribly guilty when I think about filling Sophia's place in a way and the circumstances that led to Tessie becoming so attached to me.

"I'm never going to leave you if I can help it." I promise her sincerely. "I will do everything in my power to stay with you." I kiss her forehead, then, as an afterthought, add something more. "And you need to know, if your mother could she would have too, Tessie."

"I know, you and daddy tell me all the time." She sniffles.

"Well, we don't want you to forget do we? We want you to remember how much you loved her and all the good memories." I rub her back and adjust her so we're both a bit more comfortable. My leg was getting a horrid itch. "I want to be your mommy as much as I can, but she took care of you for a long time too. And she loved you just as your daddy and I love you. And Cailyn and all your grandparents and aunts and uncles. So you'll never be alone." I continue to tell her about how many people are there for her and assure her she will never have to be without us. Is it a little unrealistic? Maybe a little, but I'd rather have her like this, a little unknowing and innocent, than sad and realistic.

"Would you like me to come and finish the movie with you, bebe?" I ask, once I can tell she's calmed down and her nose has stopped running (after several tissues and a joint effort to blow her nose).

"Please?" She asks, fluttering her eyelashes as they've learned from one movie or another, Beauty & the beast perhaps? Or Aristocrats?

"It would be my absolute pleasure!" I set her on the couch and stand up, straightening my shirt before swinging her up into my arms and carrying her into the other room to finish her movie.