Soldier

Chapter 38: Kairi

I didn't notice Alex had his hand over his chest and was breathing in heavier. I slowly raised my hand from out of the pool to see it crimson. This isn't going to end well. I has to calm him down. Blood was a sort of phobia to Alex... I hope... that it isn't starting again... He never told me, but I know that it's coming back...

He is trembling. He kept looking everywhere but where the blood was...

I tried to tell him something, anything to help calm him down. Like what though?! Damn it!

I softly told him,

"Alex don't think about it. Don't look."

Alex turned his attention to me as he took a few deep breaths. I had him follow my breathing. In and out.

Alex kept his attention on me. I stood from off of him, disoriented. Alex lifted up his hands to stand up. He caught a glimpse of his bloodied palms and started freaking out again. His eyes are bloodshot. He tried to get away from the blood. But he couldn't.

I stood back. Only to watch as Alex stared at his hands, pushing up against the wall with his legs. I wants to help him. If only I knew how... that's enough! I have to take charge of this. Alex isn't the only one who can make his point. It's about time I started doing something, instead of staying on the sidelines as I watch Alex do everything she can't! He said I am the strong one. So I had better start acting like it!

I picked up Alex from the floor; lifted him up by his jacket and shook him hard by his shoulders. Alex turned his attention to me in an instant. He shook his head for a second. He is probably confused. I did, just lift him up against the wall. But it's for his own good. Why is he acting like this!

"Straighten up, Alex! You can look past your fears! Don't just run away from your emotions! If I can forgive you, Alex, then you can forgive yourself for what happened!"

He still can't forgive himself over what he did, that he could have killed someone. That must be it... Yet, Alex only looked down. He grinded his teeth together, before he frowned and said,

"I can't run away from my own feelings, Kairi. I know that... but there is one memory that I... that brings back a lot of pain, Kairi. When I got stabbed I remembered an old fear. Something came back and I've just hidden it for so long already. I remember it Kairi, what happened that night all those years ago. I just hope you will never have to remember it! I remember him... Kairi... I remember brother."

Alex closed his eyes. He faced the ground, as he winced, a single tear running down his cheek.

He remembered.... that day. The reason why he's afraid of blood. I thought he had forgotten about it. I thought I had gotten rid of his journal back at the academy so he would never remember. How can he still remember it! It was about nine years ago... I was the one who told him to forget! How can he remember it now!

I lessened her hold on Alex's jacket and lowered him down onto the ground. I stared at him. I actually feels a little angry with him. Still... I can't hide how sorry I am for Alex. Why did he have to bring that up...?

I turned towards the doorway to see Nattily stare at us uneasily. She has a confused look on her face. She stared at me, expecting an answer. I can't tell her in front of Alex. Let alone, if I can bring myself to remember that day...

I whispered to myself,

"I'm sorry..."

I glanced to Alex as I walked out the doorway where Nattily stood. Outside the room is the long and narrow hallway that- my supposed uncle- had leaded them through to the cell. The walls are white, and the floor a pearl kind of color. A few doors along are the hallway, perfectly spread apart from one another in unison. Each of them opened

Nattily moved out of my way as I walked out the doorway.

Nat followed after me and asked,

"Kairi, what's he talking about? Why is he freaking out over this dead body? We went over all this at the Academy. We aren't supposed to fear killing people..."

Nattily drained off of on her own sentence. I can understand it though. It's a good question... one that I need to answer. It's probably not the best time for a story right now. We need to get out of here... I can't stand this place any longer....!

"Is anyone going to find us?!" I asked abruptly. Nattily looked at me funny. She put in a tinge of sarcasm as she said,

"Of course not! The security systems shut down for about out an hour or two."

Relief. I can't believe they did it, but, relief. I peeked back into the room where Alex is. He's standing blankly against the wall. Only to remind me of what happened. How hard it must have been for Alex. He can't be the one who is protected. That's how he feels, even if it means-

I won't think about it. Alex should have told me though, he should have told me sooner. That he remembered...

I stared off into space, as I recalled an old memory. A memory I don't want to remember. Nattily took me away from my thoughts and asked,

"What happened? You said he remembered something? What happened...?"

I almost forgot she is still there.

"It probably seems silly, but it's why he's afraid of blood. The memory itself isn't very humorous however...."

Nattily squinted her eyes puffed in her cheeks.

"Tell me. I demand you tell me. I think everyone needs to hear it before you two can let it go."

Nattily hinted towards Alex.

"Especially him."

I didn't argue. It's about time someone else knows what happened. About a secret that has been hidden for years...

"F-Fine. I'll tell you."