Soldier

Chapter 44: Jace

Have you ever seen anyone die? Were you the one who killed that person? Being a murderer, rots away at the soul. For me, it completely hollowed out my being. I killed Evan. It snapped me back to what the reality of it is. I feels like I am being used. That I am nothing but a doll. I remember being manipulative... I remember all of the thoughts I had about changing the world. Everything I have done. All the people I killed. I didn't know what I was doing. It felt like I was in a trance, a dream so far away. But it isn't as distant as I want to believe. I feel ripped inside. Between two people. It feels like yesterday, or maybe even a few minutes ago, that I did all of those horrible things. I don't know.

After I had killed Evan, I realized where I am. Blood was everywhere; Evan in a puddle of blood and Evangeline unconscious, lying against the wall. I panicked, and tried to revive him. It was too late by then. I had punctured through a blood valve that connected to the heart, right by Evans chest. The sword I used past through Evans upper two ribs. Missing the heart by a mere few fractions of an inch and cut off the blood flow completely from his heart. He died of blood loss. The blood had only swelled up inside of him until he lost enough that he finally died. It was painful. I can feel a pain around my heart. How I knew how Evan died, I don't know. It only makes me feel sick. Sick to my stomach and to myself.

When I realized what I had done, I tried everything I could to make it not real. Fate had different plans. So I dragged the dead body of someone I used to call friend, and buried him outside. Through the snow and the cold, I dug a grave with my bare hands until I could place Even there. I even found a large stone, kind of circular, but worked for a tombstone. I engraved Evans name onto it, using a short piece of metal that I found, cutting myself several times. After I laid Evan to rest, forever. Under a tall tree I had found, in the middle of a small clearing.

I have been taking care of Evangeline since then. It feels like it's been a day. Though... my watch is broken, its glass cracked, and the hands twisted. It would be 12:30 forever if I followed the last time that will ever be on the watch...

I sat against the wall and looked at Evangeline. She's still sleeping. I had made a blanket out of our jackets. Hopefully she'll be okay. For some reason, I feel like she's the only person left who believes in me...

I checked her temperature. I leaned over and placed my forehead against hers.... Still warm. She might be running a fever.

"How nice, Jace..."

A voice came into his head.

I stood up and looked around. There isn't anyone else in the room. I looked around the room to see a door open at the end of the room, as a hooded figure stepped inside.

I can hear each step with a 'plop' sound. I reached for my back pocket, trying to grab my pistol, only to grab at air.

I realized it is at the other side of the room, and that it's out of bullets anyway. I cursed myself and stared at the figure as he walked closer.

The hooded figure stopped in front of me at arm's length and reached for his hood. I slowly pulled it off. To show someone I never thought I would see. His blond hair, tough look, and light blue eyes... It's his spitting image.

Dad...!?

No, no it can't be dad, mom said he died. She said he died a long time ago! Then again, she never treated me right... She was always a b__ch! She always lied to me. Why is he here though? What the hell is going on!!!

The person, who looks like my dad, smug with my reaction, snickered.

"Remember the notebook?"

He turned around and walked back through the door he came through.

Why did he refer to the notebook? The thing his mother made me do every day. She locked me in a white room with a man and a notebook. For hours on end I was forced to write... what did I write? How come I can't remember what happened inside that room? I am not going to let these questions go!

I raced through the doorway after the man, into a smaller room. The walls are painted black and it looks like I had stepped into nowhere. Literally.

In the middle of the room, a small table rose from the ground with a small book lying on top of it. A light turned on that shone only around the table.

The notebook has a flat brown cover, burnt slightly along the cover. Its mine. The one I had wrote in for so many years, with the other man who... what did he do? I can hardly recall anything about him...

I stepped away from the table, until he hit the back wall. I heard another voice from somewhere.

"Remember this Son?"

I grew angry. My bloods boiling, and I can feel my temperature rise.

"I burned it! It should have been burned!"

The voice laughed. I looked in the direction of the voice at the other side of the room to see the outline of the person, hooded all over again. He blended into the dark walls floor, and the ceiling, almost invisible. I would definitely lose if I tried to fight him.

The man laughed again.

"You're ready, Jace. My world will come true. And you are going to be my means!"

I lost sight of him. What did he mean by that?! There is no way in hell! "I'm not your puppet! How do you know-!"

The man grabbed me by my neck and shoved me against the wall. "You're here, Jace. My son. You are an angel by blood. But I programmed you! Don't you wonder why you feel like you want to make 'your' world come true? Where ever did you get the idea?"

I grabbed at his hands, but didn't feel anything. The man let go of my throat as I gasped for air. I don't understand. There is no way I am a puppet. Or an angel. Or whatever! What is he talking about?!

"You are not my father! He died a long time ago! Who do-?"

I felt a shock in my stomach. All of my air knocked out of him. I fell to my knees and gasped for air a second time. Can't he let me say one full sentence?

The man grunted disappointedly.

"Oh, I am your father, and you should know when to hold your tongue. Your mother, ah, she was a good girl. But she knew my heart belonged elsewhere. She did everything she could for me. Even if it meant abusing you, which she did."

The man paused. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"It wasn't entirely her fault. But mine. Being the Angel of life, I can influence the weak. People are more easily influenced by me. And, you Jace. You have all of my gifts. And my curses. Since you were young, visions of my, world my way, was driven into your mind and I made your ideals my own. I made my dreams your own. I made sure the world you want is the world I want. After all those years of forcing these thoughts into you, all I needed to do was set a phrase. A trigger for the day you would be set off and do whatever possible to make my world come true. Like, 'Would you make the world your own, and become God?'."

I felt hollow inside and my mind shattered. I felt the man grab onto my head.

"Now, you just need a reason. A real reason to make my world come reality. I made sure you knew how. You are my greatest machine. Jace! But you are still human, and you somehow managed to split your personality. Into you, and me. Don't worry though. It will all come to light soon enough. In the end you will create my world. You can't undo what's been done to your mind, or your body. We are fragile, delicate. But me and you.... we are the superior breed. Our generations will rule this world for eternity! I've already fallen too far gone from god to make peace with him. I can no longer repent. Now he will be the one to watch.

Go out and give me my grandchildren that will rule for eternity after you, go out and change the world as everyone knows it! Go on Jace! It is your destiny!! But until then, you will remain here, and ponder on what's going to happen... what you believe, my perfect creation."

The man's voice faded away and his hand disappeared.

His words echoed throughout my mind as I was left alone. In the dark. To realize what my destiny is. What my fate has been. A puppet. A machine. Who am I?