Soldier

Chapter 11: Jace

I sat on the window seal and stared down at the small church. I can barely, see a few figures go inside. I looked back in the room and climbed down from the window. I sighed out loud to myself. It's not like I will ever play the hero. I'm unstable as it is; what could I ever do anyhow?

I walked to the door, and opened it to reveal Evan. He stared at me, disappointed and angry. He shoved me back into the room. I stumbled backwards and fell onto the floor with a thud. Evan slammed the door behind him. I looked up at him, confused. This is enough already! I am not going to take this anymore. Evan started to scold me by yelling "Jace, what the hell are you doing. This has already been getting too far out of control!"

I looked up at him a little stunned. I have had enough of this... enough of you, Evan! I stood up quickly and shoved Evan with my hands.

"You don't even know! Who the hell do you think you are anyways, always the tough guy! You can't even cry to save your friends life. You would rather leave them for dead because you think they are weak!!"

I remembered that day when we were running for an exercise. Alex was sick that day, so he couldn't go with us. Evan was running alongside me, and tried to keep me from slowing down. However, when I couldn't run anymore, I twisted my leg on a rock and heard a snap, as I fell. Evan only stopped to look at me. I, tried to move my leg, but it refused to move. I had tried my hardest to stand back up, but I just couldn't. Evan only glanced at me, pulled down his cap and told me,

"You are weak Jace. Understand that. Unless you get up on your own, you are pathetic and useless."

Evan had continued to run back with the rest of the class and left me to fend for myself. That day, I felt betrayed by someone I had called a friend. I felt the same betrayal from everyone in my life, the same neglect, but I hid those feelings ever since. Evan just left me there, alone; my leg broken. The coaches went to where I was and had almost beaten me before they figured out what had happened. The dumb f___s.

Evan has never been good toward me, yet I still called him my friend. It infuriates me!!! With all my strength, I pushed Evan into the wall, and yelled angrier than I've ever been,

"F__k you Evan! F__k you! You think you know that's going on, but you don't. I am not some little kid, I'm a strong person. You are the weak one, you who doesn't even know the pain I've gone through. That I've endured, that you've made me endure!! I still remember the day when you abandoned me, with a broken leg. Just about to get beat..!"

I clenched my hands into a fist.

Evan looked at me stunned, yet dignified. With a short glimpse of regret and remorse, Evan smirked deeply to himself, before he gritted his teeth and punched me in the face. He probably expected me to fall on the floor. But I stood still. I felt his cheek, with my hand where Evan had hit me. I started to chuckle to myself, and began to laugh like a masochist. With all my force I Jace punched Evan in his stomach. I heard him cough out all the air he had, as he curled up. Evan looked up at me while I bellowed,

"You are the pathetic one. You are not a friend; you don't care about me or anyone!"

Evan turned away. I heard as Evan feebly said,

"I guess it worked then. All I wanted was for you to understand Jace. That you were weak and that you have to climb yourself up to be strong. It's never easy Jace, but there was no other way you would toughen up. Always in your books, that will not help you here!"

I turned around to look at him. How pathetic are you Evan, quit lying to yourself already. What does that mean anyway? You bastard... That did not help me. If anything it only added to my pain. It never did help me. I clenched my fist tightly.

"You are a fool Evan. What I needed was a friend. Actual bonds between us as friends. I don't need a tyrant."

Evan only laughed halfheartedly. I stared into his eyes. There is something behind his stare that seems to tear at himself. Evan stood up and threw a punch at me, but I dodged to the side to have the air knocked out of me from Evans other fist. Evan looked at me, hurt. He shook his head slightly.

"Jace I...I... I'm sorry, okay. But... I know how you feel about Alex. You need to move on; he has his own problems to deal with. Now that he has a partner, he has new responsibilities. He doesn't have to deal with someone who doesn't trust or forgive. You need to be strong Jace, it's the only path for us."

I looked at Evan shocked. How did he know that...? I never told anyone! How does he know!? Is he right, am I the problem..? Damn you Evan,

"I ... I ..."

I walked to the window, and whispered under my breath,

"Fine... If I'm so much a problem..."

I climbed onto the open window. I turned around to stare at Evan, and smiled with no feeling. My entire being shook in fear of what I am going to do.

"You know what? I don't have anything but misery in my life. So what would it matter if I'm gone? It'll be over quick, yea..."

Evan ran up to the window.

"Don't Jace!"

I only smiled and shook my head at him. I stepped backwards and jumped off of the window. I hope to die and end this incredibly pathetic existence I hae led in one swift blow. I closed my eyes as I felt my body fall. To experience death firsthand...

Agh!

I felt my arm stretch. I opened my eyes to see Evan holding on to my wrists. Evan yelled at me,

"Idiot! You aren't going to die on me! I'm sorry Jace, okay. I'm sorry it was wrong of me to treat you like a weakling. I'm the one who's the problem, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Jace! Just don't die; neither me nor Alex will ever forgive you. I could never forgive myself!!!"

Evan looks like he is on the verge of crying as a few tears ran down from his eyes. Evan pulled me back into the room. I rolled in from the window and fell back inside. Evan and I lied on the floor, however, something seems different about Evan. His voice sounded... different, like a girl. No matter... I will hold you to that Evan... But if ever he betrays me ever again... if he betrays me he...