Freshman Year: sHE beLIEveD & sHE's brOKen

30: "You deserve someone who would jump fences to be...

“You deserve someone who would jump fences to be with you. Not someone who is on the fence about being with you.”

I cried on the way to the airport. Part of me was happy to be going home, to get away from the fear and pain that came from the guys I had met this year, but I hated leaving the people I cared about.

         I hated flying, and snapchatted Daniel and Blair before getting on each plane. Daniel said flying was exciting not something to fear. Blair wished me a safe flight.

         That was something Michael never said to me, have a safe flight. I know maybe I’m just too…idk picky about wording or something, but every friend of mine always wished me a safe flight.

         Anyways, getting off the plane and seeing my dad made me feel better. That was until we got in a huge fight in the car ride home.

         “If you ever speak to me like that again I will send you back to Michael’s family to take care of you over the summer because I will not tolerate this!” My father yelled.

         I stayed silent. I held in my tears. Like I already didn’t have enough issues with security and abandonment. Arriving home, I got out of the car, packed a bag, grabbed a steak knife and headed out the door, ready to spend the night in the church playground where there was a ship that you could enter and basically hide in.

         My friend texted me and I told her I was not staying at home that night, and she came and picked me up.

         “Vanna, you’re not thinking,” Katie said.

         “He didn’t want me at home, well now I’m not,” I said.

         “Let’s just go get some food okay? And if you need to, you can stay at my house for the night, okay?” Katie said.

         “Vanna, he didn’t mean it,” my sister, Nelly, said.

         “Doesn’t matter,” I said.

         “Nelly, give me your number, I will text you about Vanna and if she will be staying at my place,” Katie said as she and my sister traded numbers as I got in Katie’s car.

         Katie got in and looked at me for an explanation. I explained.

         “Okay, but Vanna, come on. You’re taking it too seriously,” Katie said.

         “Whatever, I know, but he needs to learn a lesson. He can’t just say something like that. I want to scare my parents. They need to be scared shitless and think the worst. They need to be worried that something might happen to me and prove to me they actually want me around,” I said.

         “Vanna, we’re going to go eat, what food do you want?” Katie asked.

         “Chinese, they don’t have any at my school,” I said.

         Arriving at the restaurant Katie and I talked about everything that I had gone through in the past two weeks. She calmed me down about a lot. My dad left a voicemail on my phone saying that he had been driving around searching everywhere for me. He even checked the church playground. Katie was glad to see that I was ready to go back home.

         I know you’re thinking, running away? Isn’t that what kids do? Well, yeah, they do. And I did it once. But I wasn’t serious about it. This time I had been serious I mean I took my savings of two hundred dollars with me and clothes and I was serious about having them prove to me that I was wanted. And my dad proved it.