dedicated to NIDABALANSAG .tnx for voting :)
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things are different now between me and Marco . i who hate him the most has becomE his lover now . we did it so many times ! we kiss and fuck all night . the reason why i hate myself too is because i can't even hold myself to stop from loving the person who killed his own flesh . . ipinangako ko sa sarili na hindi na mauulit ang ngyari noon but look at us right now , lying here in his bedroom naked and we totally made it . para saan pa at nagpakipot ako? how come na pumayag ako sa gusto nya ? but that the shit of me ! pumayag pa rin ako .
tumitig ako sa mukha ni Marco at nangilid ang mga luha ko . nandito pa rin sa puso ko yung sakit , yung hirap ng pinagdaanan ko ! how i survive and fight for my own sadness because of that bad nightmares Marco create..
i'm stupidly madly still inlove with him . his lips that makes my heart out , yung titig nya na kahit isang bloke ng yelo ay kayang tunawin . nasira na ang harang na binuo ko sa mahabang panahon . akala ko kaya ko na , akala ko matibay na Ko at akala ko hindi ko na sya maHal pero lahat ng yun kasinungalingan ko lang pala at sadyang niloloko ko lang ang aking sarili .
his my soul and i'm his mate .. pinilit kong lumimot at iwasan sila , until i met blake . he was with me all the time ! he comfort and take care my half of me. i happen to meet at the bar where i sell myself to Marco. i'm totally lost and freak out . i regret everything i had in life . my past and also my present . i tried hard to move on but i just can't do it . i can't forget my baby who killed his own father and now he wants me to get pregnant again .
hindi ko na alam kung makakaya ko pa .o kung kakayanin ko pa , ayoko ng ma link sa isang Marco Imperial . tama na yung fake arrangement namen ni blake . he need me because he can't show his self to public at ipaglantaran ang pagka bakla nya . his using me para pagtakpan ang sarili nya while i'm using him too para pasakitan ng sobra si Marco . para paghigantihan ang binata .
umusod ako ng kaunti palayo kay Marco , ipinikit ko ng mariin ang aking mga mata para iwaglit ang nakaraan sa aking isip .. tumaas bigla ang isang kilay ni Marco at dumilat ito . we stare each other for a moment bago ako nagpasyang magsalita.
"please Marco nakuha mo na ang gusto mo kaya iuwi mo na ako ! " i look down para iwasan ang malalim na titig nito.
i heard him sigh at sumandal sa headboard ng kama.ayoko ng tingnan pa sya dahil baka ipagkanulo ko na naman ang sarili ko ng ilang beses pa.
"bakit dianna? " he asked
nangunot ang noo ko . "anong bakit? " patay malisya kong tugon . hindi ako kumilos at tumingala na lang sa kisame . ayoko ng ungkatin pa ni Marco ang nakaraan .
"why did you Marry him? "
"itinatanong pa ba yan? thats because i love my husband !"
kumulimlim ang mukha nito at natahimik bigla . kahit ako nahihirapang magsinungaling dahil kahit kelan hindi ko ginawa yun kundi kay Marco lang .