A Malfoy

19

~ Chapter Nineteen: Saving Emma is my only goal ~

[ Draco Malfoy's Perspective ]

     Sleep is a tricky thing. Especially since you have no control over it. After Emma practically said we weren't ever going back into a relationship, like ever ever, I went to check on the Room of Requirement. Potter, Weasley, Goyle, Crabbe, and I nearly destroyed it last month, but it's slowly mending. The room was smaller, but would still listen to what you needed.

  So here was some place for me to hide away and think. I won't deny how angry I was. Angry at Emma; never. Angry at myself, definitely. I couldn't believe how much of a complete arse and git I had been, especially for so long. I hadn't even realized it. Of course, it took me getting yelled at by my girlfriend to see any sense. And by then, it was too late.

    My ears were ringing by the time I threw myself onto the couch. I let her walk away. No matter how much I love her, no matter how much I apologize, no matter how much I try to talk through the kissing, I can't change her mind.

    She's so stubborn, but that's one of the great things about her, also one of the reasons she's a great Gryffindor. She knows when to fight. She knows when to give up. I guess she figured out I must really be a lost cause.

   She worked so hard trying to get me to be happy. She knew for over a year that each day working for the Dark Lord, that I got more depressed. She stayed by my side. She even started making me feel alright again. It was horrible, every time I was away from her. The first break up I was trying to protect her. I knew that anyone who worked for Voldemort had to be careful and I tried, but anyone in a related format tied to them, they would be hurt if they weren't joining his forces. I couldn't let her die.

Then of course, I strayed away, working on trying to fix the Vanishing Cabinets. I hated myself. I hated working for Voldemort. I hate everything about him; his cruelty and his own anger and hatred, his bitterness, the way people would just call at his feet.

I spent nearly a year here, trying to stall fixing the cabinet. Emma seemed to have moved on as well, and as much as it twisted my stomach, I believed I could be okay if being with that Lucas Gray made her happy. I hadn't know she was doing that as trying to move on, but she didn't.

She wrote me the letter that over worked my anxiety. It was what told me that I am in love with her. Knowing that she thought she might die nearly made me faint right there, but that just made my will stronger to find her. The worst part was that is not at all how I wanted her to first come to my home. Aunt Bella had caught her on her way to deliver a message to the three famous Gryffindors, who kept leaving Emma out. I went to her, I fought against my parents, nearly killed Greyback in anger, and found Emma, who while trapped for just a few days, had scars and blood all over her.

   But it didn't make her look any less beautiful. We both had our own scars; inside and out. Just finding her, I think, made us unofficially back together. It became a little more official when I took her back to the school, which was then the only place I thought she could be safe. I tried to put her at ease with a joke, but my own nerves were acting crazy. I wanted to take her and run away, to protect her forever. But it was irrational. And I was wandless; it was hers that brought us back to our secret place.

   My father yelled at me when I returned. I took it the best I could, but that was when I decided I had to leave for good. I couldn't put up with this anymore.

  I didn't say much to my mother, but she did let me have her wand. She almost seemed to know that I would be leaving, she was kinder than usual.