Her Sempiternal (Sequel to Oliver's Smile)

She's My Destiny; To Bad Destiny Failed Me (Oli's POV)

I stared blankley at the wall in front of me. The house was empty. Everyone had up and left me. I hadn'talked to any one in weeks. But I didn't care. What was the point in talking when I didn't even want to live any more?

I got up and slowly moved to the kitchen, looking for more alcohol. The fridge was empty, cabnits were bare. 

"Fucking hell," I muttered to myself. I wandered back into the living room and threw myself back down on the couch.

My phone buzzed some where to the left of me. I groaned and rolled inward to the coouch. I didn't want to answer it. 

I knew what I was doing to Brodie was wrong. I should talk to her. But I hated that she left me. I hated her for leaving. But I loved her so much... 

My phone kept buzzing. I groaned again and rolled back over. It was laying on the floor slightly under the couch, I picked it up but said nothing.

"Oli. I know you're there mate," Matt's concerned voice sounded through my ear. I still said nothing.

"Brodie called," he said, My heart ached. She had stopped trying to call me after our last fight in December. But I didn't know she had started calling the guys...

"Someone's been sending her letters mate, and she's fucking scared. You need to get off your ass and talk to her. She loves you, Oli, and I know you still love her," he said. He was angry, and he had a right to be. In my self destruction, I had also caused a lot of problems with the guys. They refused to speak to me unless they had to.

But someone was sending letters to Brodie? A crazy fan maybe? Or even a jealous fan?

"What did she say?" I finally muttered.

"She said they say I'm watching you. She's really freaked out, mate," Matt said. 

"Well it's not me."

"I know it's not you, wanker. But she's your girlfriend, so you should be talking to her and conforting her. Not push her out like you do with the rest of us," he said. He hung up. I let my phone fall back down to the floor. 

"Brodie will be fine. She's always fine," I said. I rolled off the couch and searched around for my keys. They were some how stuck to the wall. I pulled them off and headed out the door. I didn't want to think about Brodie. And the only way around that was to drink until I passed out.

-----------------------

My head screamed at me when I woke up. I groaned and flipped back over and reached out for Brodie. She always made me feel better when I had a hangover.

"Morning babe," I said, clutching her. Something was different though. She didn't smell right, nor did she move when I reached for her. I opened my eyes. I was clutching my pillow tightly to my chest. The pillow Brodie used.

"Fuck me," I said. I threw the pillow off the bed. It hit the wall with a soft thud and slid to the floor. Tears seaped into my eyes. 

"I miss you so much..." I whispered. I sat up and clutched my head in pain. I knocked the beer bottles off the bed. The clattered to the floor along with the growing piles I already had in my room. I crossed my cluttered room and went to the bathroom, looking for some pain killers. But I was out of those as well. 

"Fuck," I said. I slammed the door shut and walked down the stairs. I jumped when I entered the lvining room. Matty and Lee were sitting on my couch. It was the first time I had seen them in what felt like ages. I didn't know what to say.

"Oli, come here mate," Lee said. I glared slightly but walked over to them and sat on the couch across from them.

"How long are you going to be like this?" Matty asked. I shrugged.

"She misses you too, you know. But I bet she isn't destroying her life," Lee said. I rolled my eyes and turned away from them.

"Oliver, you can't keep this up. You need to get out, And you need to talk to your girlfriend," Matty said. I could hear the anger growing in his voice.

"She isn't my girlfriend. My girlfriend would have stayed here with me," I whispered.

"Oli, she's still your girlfriend. But at the rate you're going, she won't be anymore. You can't keep pushing her out like this. Hell, youy shouldn't be pushing any of us out. But you are, and that's shit," Lee said.

"You should have heard her on the phone, mate. She was really upset, and I know she misses you," Matty said. My heart ached. 

"If she misses me, then why did she leave? She wouldn't miss me if she was still here," I snapped. Matty sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Oli, she told you. Her brother got thrown in jail. She had to go home," Lee said. I rolled my eyes.

"If she loved me, she would have stayed," I whispered. I got up and walked back up the stairs. I couldn't handle it anymore. I wasn't going to sit there and listen to them yell at me. Brodie should have stayed. Everything would have been better if she did. None of this would have ever happened. 

I slammed my door shut and locked it. The last thing I wanted was my mates seeing what I was up do these days. I walked over to my bed and picked up my little black box that contained my razors. I slid one out and ran my finger down the smooth surface. I let it nick my finger slightly, but I didn't care. I sunk down to the floor. tears spilling down my face. 

As I slid the razon across my wrist and watch the blood flow down onto my jeans, my mind emptied of everything that was hurting me. Brodie. My mates. My head. Anything. All I could feel now was the sharp sting of the blade as i drug it across my skin again and again.