Glimpses

Losing

Forewords! This is not the actual content of Losing. May nauna nang draft but I accidentally deleted it. When I rewrite it, okay...mas ito pala ang gustong sabihin ni RJ. So here you go. Hope you like 'em

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Hey Maine! I have been having these feelings inside my heart that I don't know how to express. It may seem unimportant to you but they are to me. And I really hope that once I tell them to you, they will have a significant effects to you as they do to me. Are you ready? I hope you are.

Where do I start? I am happy that we get to work together. I have been waiting for this for so long. I have been working my ass off for a long time and now that I have been doing what I love, it became more important because I got to do them with you. We have been telling these to each other everytime. We got each other's backs diba?

I just want you to know that I am losing. Losing the rein to be exact. I have been holding this rein inside my heart since I got to know you better. You always suprises me. From small gestures to the big ones. You always show me that you really care. You really care for me. Not for Alden Richards but for Richard Faulkerson Jr. Why is this important? Because anyone can care for the actor. They can love the person they see on the screen pero ikaw...ikaw 'yung nakakakita nang totoong ako. Ikaw ang nakakakita ng mga topak ko. For a while now, you made me show who I really am. And you really cared despite them all.

Hey Maine? How long have I felt this way towards you? I think it's been awhile. I couldn't remember when it started. All I know is that I've been preparing myself for that moment. That time when I could tell you all these. I'm losing myself everytime I let myself feel. Let myself forget that I should enjoy every moment I have with you. Let myself think that I should wait. Kasi diba? Sabi mo true love waits.

Did you know that I'm over the moons everytime we work together? Cause it's really rare nowadays. Kung hindi lang sa Kalyeserye, we won't see each other that much. I have been very patient did you know that? And I am a patient man. But Maine? Minsan pati pasensya ko nauubos na 'din. Don't think of it in a negative way though. It only means that everytime I see my schedule with your name on it, it makes me believe that the world is working with me. To be with you.

Hey Maine. I know that you don't want to be in a hurry. And I remembered telling myself that too. I wanted us to enjoy what we have now. I want you to experience everything. I want you to know the ups and downs because it will make us strong. It makes us be prepared to whatever comes on our way. But you know what? There are moments that I simply forget that. There are moments when I just want to toss everything away, pull your hand and jump. Just jump towards that nothingness. Because I know that if I lose everything, you will still be there, holding my hand.

Sorry nga pala? Because there are times that I'm losing my professionalism. There are times that people sees the crack. That tiny crack that you could see too but chose to ignore kasi pareho tayong hindi pa ready. And I understand that. I just wanted you to know though, ang tagal ko nang sinabi sa'yong hindi pa tayo ready. Maine? Ready na ako. Ikaw ba?

Hey Maine? I'm losing it. I just want you to know that. I'm hoping that you're losing it too. Let's stop dancing. Let's stop pretending. Ayoko na. I thought I could maintain it. I thought I'm the one holding my heart. Hindi na pala. So I just want you know this, kapag ready ka na. Hawakan mo lang ang kamay ko. Hilahin mo lang...tapos talon tayo.

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