We Protect Each Other

Chapter 15

Mitch's pov

"So everyone is okay with 2 songs in the morning and 3 in the evening?" Scott asked us all after we finished arranging more songs. We all nodded in response.

I'm still a bit uneasy with the whole situation. I barely wanted to perform in front of the crowd I get now, let alone an even bigger crowd. There's a reason that I only ever did plays or musicals in the tiny stadium I lived near, I am shy! There's no way I will be able to do this. You know how many people will walk past us? Like millions. Well maybe not millions but you get the point.

"Mitch?" Alex calling my name snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Uh what?" I asked.

"You okay? You kinda zoned out on us."

"Oh yeah, sorry, I'm alright." I gave him a weak smile and looked away from him and in the direction of Scott who didn't look like he believed me.

"Are you sure? Because you-" Scott started but I cut him off.

"Yes Scott." I said, sounding more irritated than I actually am. "I'm fine."

He stared at me and shook his head. "Come outside for a second will you?" He asked, clearly trying to sound calm but I could hear a slight bit of concern in his voice. He stood up and hopped out of the crawl space and I followed close behind. "Is everything alright?" He asked as soon as I fixed the scrap metal and stood before him.

"Yeah, I told you I'm fine." I said much calmer this time.

"You didn't seem fine in there. Your smile was weak, like you didn't mean it. A-and you cut me off." He stuttered, which made him sound a bit sad. "Why?"

"I don't know Scott." I said quietly. "I'm just- I really don't know."

"Mitch," he gently moved his hand to my chin and moved it so I was looking in his eyes, "you do know, it might be something you've been trying to hide, but you know. You can tell me." For some reason, in this moment, I did feel like I could trust Scott, like if I told him, he wouldn't use it against me or tell his friends, all two of them.

"I-I'm scared Scott." He stared into my eyes with a gentle look, an understanding look. "I don't know if I can perform in front of that many people. There's just so many. And that's a lot of pressure, I don't want to let you guys down."

"Hey, you aren't going to let us down. If you don't want to do something, don't do it, let us know and we will never force you to do it. This all started with you. You're the reason we don't steal. You're the reason we always have food and water when we need it. You're the reason we all have new clothes. You're the reason I'm so happy."

Okay wait. What. What the hell. Why did he just say that. He's just making me feel better right? He can't mean that, nobody ever means that... Or at least nobody that has told me ever means it. How do I make him happy? He's got friends, he doesn't need me. I can't let anyone get close to me again. Never again. Oh no. I'm in too deep. How did I not realize this sooner! Shit! I need to get out, now.

I did the first thing I could think of doing. I turned and ran, as fast as I could. I can't risk getting close to someone again just to have them forget about me and move on. It hurts too much. I promised myself after what happened with Troye that I would never get close to anyone again. My heart just can't handle it.

I turned back and looked to see if Scott was trying to catch me, he was, but he wasn't doing a very good job of it. I am much faster than Scott. Before I knew it, I could barely even see him. I slowed my pace and took a look at my surroundings, I had already run pretty far. This alley looks pretty sketchy, I'm out. I wandered around until I found a bench at the park that I decided would be a decent place to sleep for the night. I laid down on the hard bench and immediately craved the feeling of Scott's arms around my cold body.

I let the tears pour down from my eyes as I thought about everything, whether it was the people that got me to the breaking point or the one I almost forgot about my promise to myself for.

Why did everyone have to screw me over so bad that I refuse to trust anyone? Why do I deserve this? Why me?