Friends With Benefits (Mark Tuan Fanfic)

17

Your heart beats faster and you know he could feel it pounding against your chest. "Is he freakin' serious?" you ask yourself.

Words won't come out of your mouth. As much as you want to wrap your arms around him and kiss his hungry lips, you have to stop yourself from this madness.

His words might mean a lot to you, but it might just be words to him. He's just saying those words to get you to sleep with him. That's it.

You push him hard and he lands on the bed. "No," you say softly.

"What do you mean 'no'?" The confusion on his face is back. He looks at you as you pace the room.

"Mark, you don't really like me. You're just saying that. Besides we're only on this for company, right? Your words mean nothing, right? Guys like you don't go out with fucked up girls like me." Words just keep on flowing out now. "I don't date, I don't have relationships, I don't love."

"You once did. Why can't you do it again?" He's standing in front of you now, holding your hands tightly. He puts them close to his chest and looks at you with emotions you can't tell.

For a second, your heart stops. The sincerity in his eyes wants you to just go ahead and take him. But, you know better than to trust a guy.

You pull your hand free, but his arms are already around your waist, pulling you closer.

"I enjoyed your company, Mark. I truly did. But, this doesn't mean I want a relationship with you. Fucking is different from loving."

You could feel his hands loosen. He steps back and takes his jacket.

"I just didn't FUCK, Bel. For your information, I was MAKING LOVE with you."

He stomps out of the room and slams the door behind him.

"Shit," you slump on the bed. You know for a fact that you like him, too. Tears run down your eyes as the image of his face floods your mind.

After an hour of silent cries, your phone goes off.

'Sorry, Bel. I have to go ahead. I'll just tell JB to come pick you up in the morning.'

So that's it. He's pissed off and is running away. "Give him a week and he'll forget everything about me," you tell yourself.

JB comes knocking on your hotel door early in the morning. Mark must have already told him everything, he hugs you tight as soon as you let him in.

"Are you ok, sis? You hungry? Let's go have breakfast first." He hands you a bag of clothes for you to change in.

You check out and head to the restaurant. JB just looks at you and says nothing.

"You want to visit mom and dad while we're here?" he asks.

You would love to, but decide not. You don't want them to see you in this state. Once they find out you're having a hard time, your dad would ask you to stay with them. That would be the last thing you would want to happen.

The car doesn't head straight to the highway as you expected, instead JB drives you to your old school. He continues driving until you reach a small patch of woods behind.

Your secret spot. JB used to take you here during your first three years in this school. He would tend to your wounds and wait for you to stop crying. Those years would have been the hardest if it weren't for JB. Bullies, girls and boys, made fun of you and hurt you because you were different. JB, the caring stepbrother that he is, would always defend you from them. 

You sit on your usual spot on a big rock and he gets down beside you. His arms comfort you as he rubs your shoulder.

"Do you like him?" JB finally speaks.

"I don't know."

"Why don't you give him a chance? He obviously likes you."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm scared," then your tears come out again.

"Come here," he pulls you closer, making your head lean on his shoulder.

You sit there for a longer time, maybe an hour or so. Dark clouds are starting to form in the sky mirroring your feelings inside.

"We have to get going. It looks like it's gonna rain soon."

The week slowly passes by without a word from Mark. You try your best to look normal at work so as not to get Reno's attention again.

"So, have you thought of what I've said?" Reno asks during dinner. You've had a very busy day and he wanted to treat you out to thank you.

"About what?" You seriously weren't listening to him, you were thinking of something else.

"Our date? This weekend?"

You partially remember him asking you out on a date, and you said you'd think about it.

"Oh, that."

"So?"

Maybe you should go. It might keep your mind away from Mark for a while. For the past few days, you've been battling with yourself whether to give him a call or not, just to say sorry. You miss laughing and bickering with him. 

"Sure," you say half-heartedly.

"Pick you up at six pm tomorrow then?" he sounds excited.

"Tomorrow?" Is it Friday already?

"Yup."

"Sure."

You smile, hoping it reaches your eyes.