Friends With Benefits (Mark Tuan Fanfic)

22

Your breathing is ragged, the pounding on your chest starts again. 

Mark moves an inch closer. "I still want you, Isabel," his whisper sends another wave in your system. He moves another inch and the tips of your nose are already touching. Still your body refuses to move. You want him, too.

For two months, you've tried to get him out of your mind. Constantly, you'd still find yourself thinking about him. You realize it's not just because he's good in bed. You like him. You like him, a lot. 

His lips are now touching yours and waiting for you to open. You stop yourself from kissing him, but he pushes forward. His tongue forces your mouth to open and it succeeds. He kisses you hungrily and your body instinctively responds. 

Your lips start moving as his hand go to your nape, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss. It feels good tasting his lips again. The sensation you feel when you're with him is back. The hands you were keeping at your sides start moving, too. One hand goes to his back and the other to his hair. 

You force yourself to think that he's already dating just to make you stop doing what he's started, but you won't stop. You like this. You've craved for this. You missed this. 

His hand goes up under your shirt, his warm fingers leave tingles up your spine. 

The knock on the door snaps you out of your madness. You open your eyes and pull back. "I'm sorry," you say and run to the door. 

"Are you done talking yet?" JB asks, but you run past him, too. You go out the door and into the streets. 

"Shit, Bel. What do you think are you doing? Do you seriously want a relationship with him? Are you fuckin' crazy? He's already dating. He obviously likes the girl, too. Even if you're thinking of going out with him, it's too late." Voices in your head battle with each other as you run across the road and into the park. 

You find a quiet corner and lay on the grass. Tears streaming down your eyes again.

"Why am I so fucked up? Why can't I just decide for once? Why can't I commit? I seriously need to get my shit together. I'm going crazy. Mark's making me go crazy. I think I need to see a shrink."

AAAAGGGGHHHH....You scream. Good thing, nobody's around to hear. 

Well, that's what you think. Mark lays down beside you on the grass and you groan. 

"Mark, can you not show your face...for a minute...just make me think. Ok?"

Childishly, he covers his face with his jacket and starts counting backwards from sixty. 

In frustration, you hit his arm as strong as you could. 

"What? You told me not to show my face. So, I'm covering it," he chuckles. 

"I can't think when you're around. Get it?"

"Why not?" He removed the jacket and is now on his side. His elbow propped on the ground to support his head, his eyes looking straight at your lips. 

"Because...you make me do things I shouldn't do. My mind just goes blank when you speak. I just forget about my principles when you touch me."

"So, you like me!" His face is now right above yours and he's smiling. 

"YES,OK?" Now, you say it. "Yes, I like you, Mark. I've realized how much I like you. But..." His face is coming closer again. You push it with your palm and sit down. You don't want his prettiness to distract you. 

"But, what?"

"I don't want to get into a relationship with you." 

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Ok? I'm still confused. So, can you please just leave me alone." You shout at his face but he doesn't move. 

Instead, he pulls you in his arms and hugs you tight. "We don't have to be in a relationship then. If this is what you want then I'm willing to try." 

Is he serious? Does he really want to do this with me? 

You're still speechless when he pulls you to your feet. "C'mon. You're brother's worried. He thinks I offended you again."

"What happened to you?" JB's worried tone welcomes you as you enter the apartment with Mark following close behind. 

"I'm sorry." You just say. 

"So, are you..." Jackson asks, his eyebrows wiggling. 

"NO!" Mark and you answer at the same time before Jackson could even finish his question. 

"Okay, just asking." Jackson goes back to his seat and gets the remote of the TV. 

Mark looks at you slyly and you just roll your eyes at him. 

"Just go ahead and do your thing. I need to rest." You stand up and leave the boys in the living room. The emptiness of your bedroom gives you peace. You lock the door and go to bed. 

"What just happened? Did I just tell Mark I like him?" You pound the bed with your fist. You hate yourself for caving in to him. The bed turns into a heap of linens and feathers as you twist and turn and pound and bite at the pillows. 

"I really am going crazy." You tell yourself.