The After Effect | ✓

F I F T E E N

The quote I used is, is actually,from a song (:

and I tried to believe

that we could make it

but trying don't work,

I hated how nice he was. I hated that he constantly reminded me of how much he loved me, with kisses on cheeks, tight; breathtaking hugs. It only made me hate myself,  he actually loved me and here I was plotting to break his heart. I hated that he made me feel guilty. I wanted to hate him.

But I couldn't.

Because he loved me.

And I found it harder each to day to tell myself that I hated him. I found it harder to talk about ending the plan, to talk about when the final step to be completed, because I didn't want to imagine his reaction. I didn't want to see the look in his eyes, when he realizes that I never forgave him. That he loved somebody who  didn't love him at all.

But I knew I had to do this.

I mean how could I not?

I had a boyfriend to get back to, somebody who had stuck with me through everything. I couldn't really just get up and leave him.

*~*~*

Leon was busy today, so Diego decided to come over to my house, saying that we never spent any time together, so we decided to watch a movie in my bedroom, snuggled up under the duvet covers, and have some 'us'. It was already quite late, when we decided to actually put the movie on.

"I say we watch a Disney movie," I say bending down to look through all my DVDs.

"Uh, do you have Lion King?" Diego asks, straining his neck to look at me over the bed.

"Of course I do," I scoff and I knew that he was probably rolling his eyes right now.

I grab the Lion King DVD case, and put it into my DVD player. I grab the remote and switch off the lights, walking over to Diego. Diego yelps when I elbow him in the ribs. I apologize and kiss his cheek, and he grins afterwards. The room was quite dark,,except for the light coming from under the door, and a gap between the curtains.

"When are you ending it?" Diego asks me.

It. The revenge. It had a very popular topic between us. Well, also with Camila and Eva. It was a big thing, between the four of us. I swallow a large breath and reply to him.

"I think probably this week," I answer and he hums.

I decided that I rather just get it over and done with, then carry on and get doubts about it. I just couldn't keep this thing going, I needed to break his heart already. It would be easier for everybody. The movie starts, and I don't really give it my full attention, but focused more on my thoughts.

I needed to figure out the best way to break up with him. Camila, Eva and Diego said that I have tell him that it was all a plan, and that I never loved him, because you can't get back something you gave away right?  They said  it would break him even more. I don't know,  but how do I even say it.

Oh Leon, I never loved you. It was all a plan to break your heart.  hashtag dumped!

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