Affliction

24

Demi

"You coming?" Annie's phone buzzed with another text from Jacob in my hands. I smiled and texted back, "Yes."

Jacobs four door Jeep Wrangler is parked outside in my driveway. I could grab a bat and bash in his Windows. I could grab a knife and deflate his tires. Or, I could have fun.

I'm in the office to get the best shot at the jeep I can. He thought he was so sneaky, parked with his lights off. I can just see him smirking through the windshield, even being in the second story.

Without taking my eyes off my target, I reached over to grab an egg out of the carton. Suddenly, I felt a hand grasp around my wrist. I jumped back and saw Wilmer sternly looking at me as if I was a child.

"Are you seriously doing this?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "Without me?"

I smiled so hard as he pulled another carton from behind his back. This is why I love him. We're like Bonny and Clyde.

"Ready?" I asked, retrieving my arm back, ready to throw.

"Demi, wait!" He said, taking the egg from me. "You forgot to open the window."

"Oh yeah." I sheepishly laughed as he shifted the glass up, and a cool wind came through.

"That egg wasn't going to make it far." He laughed, giving me back my egg. "Okay, now we're ready."

"1..2..3.." After three left my lips all you could see was eggs just flying through the air. It kinda looked like chickens were flying through overhead and hatching over our driveway.

Eggs were pelting his windshield and all over his car. He's definitely going to have to have another paint job after this.

"What the fuck?!" I heard from behind me.

My whole body stiffened as I turned around. Thankfully, it was Marissa.

"Where the hell is my invitation?" She pouted.

"If it makes you feel better, mine must've got lost in the mail, too." Wilmer said. "But now that you're here...." He gave Marissa another carton.

"Let's do this." Marissa grinned, and began attacking with us.

Jacob was out of his jeep now, more than furious. He was yelling at us to stop, cussing, fussing, and throwing a fit like a little bitch.

But then, he saw Wilmer and all of his whining stopped. He knows Wilmer will kill him. The eggs is the best thing that can happen to him right now. He's lucky he's not six feet under.

"Thanks for the accessories!" Jacob yelled up, waving as he began to climb in the car. "Have a nice day!"

Then, he turned his windshield wipers on as eggs smeared everywhere. He reversed, then he was gone.

I looked over at my partners in crime and gave them high fives with yolk streaming between our fingers.

"I loved every second of that." Marissa laughed. "That was so much fun. I'm never leaving."

I attacked Marisa with a big hug, managing to rub some egg in her hair. "I'll never let you leave, anyway."

"Me either." Wilmer said, acting like he was giving us both hugs, but just ended up smearing the remains of goo all over our faces.

"Wilmer!" Mar shrieked, pushing him away as we all busted out laughing.

We have parent fails all the time, but this has been my favorite one so far.