Jungkook imagines

I can't

Genre- Angst
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"... Please, don't leave me again."

Hearing his voice, I felt myself crumbling on the inside as I take a deep breath. Slowly sitting back on the sofa, I close my eyes and let's out a shaky breath.
Let him finish his words, HanByul.

"I regretted it once I told you to leave"

Pursing my lips together, I take my hair back and let's out a shaky sigh. I could sense the quivering and shakiness in his voice.

"I wanted to chase you. I wanted to tell you that I didn't mean it. I wanted to bring you back by my side. Bbut--"

His sentence was left hanging as he accidentally let's out a sob. I feel as if all of the air was begin knocked out and my grip on the phone tighten- as if it the only source where I can find my energy back.

"But w-what, Jungkook?" For the first time after a few minutes, I spoke ; and my voice sounds shaky but I couldn't care less.

I need to know. What is he saying? What is he meaning to say?

"B-but I can't."

"What?" My voice turns into a quite, short whisper as I ask back at him irredeculously. What is he talking about?

He can't?
Why?

"I can't say all of those things to you. I can't bring you back to my side. I can't...-"

He stopped. Again.

As if my heart has stop its beating, I rake my hair back frustratedly as I wait for his next words.

"I can't bear to hurt you once again. I'm sorry and I love you so much, Ryu HanByul. "

Stepping into the classroom, I let my long hair cover my tired and exhausted face as I step towards my seat.

After the last sentence, Jungkook hungs up the phone. Frustrated and confused by his action, I've tried to call him tons of times - yet he wont answer.

Of course he won't. After what he have said to you, you expected him to answer your calls, HanByul?
Stupid

Standing right in front of my seat, my gaze were glued towards a medium sized light blue box placed neatly on the table.

"What's this?" Glancing towards the seat mate, Hwamin, I was hoping for her to answer my question. Instead, she shrugs innocently, causing me to let out heavy sigh.

"It was here even before I arrive. Trust me."

Nodding slightly at her words, I mutter out an audible thank you towards her. Placing down my bag pack, I grab the box.

Not knowing why, I have a feeling that this box is something important.

"I'll be back soon." With that one last sentence, informing Hwamin, I walk out from the classroom- with the box begin tightly hugged in my embrace.

Letting the wind hitting my face harshly, I sit down on the bench at the rooftop. Placing the box beside me, my attention caught upon a white paper slipping through the cover.

Carefully pulling it out, I flip open the folded paper and I immediately froze as soon as I saw the utterly familiar writing.

"HanByul, are you reading this?
If you are, I'm glad. I'm glad that you're willing to read this letter. I won't make this long, I promise so don't worry.

All I want to say is, have a happy life at Canada. You're moving next month, right? Ah, how did I know? I have my sources, Byul. Don't worry, I didn't hire any personal investigator hahah!

About the phone call yesterday, I'm sorry. I was going to ask you to not to leave - as I still love you dearly.

But after a few seconds, I realise it's going to be no use. I might just end up acting stupid again and hurt you.

I couldn't bear to hurt the girl I love so much.

You do understand, right? I hope you do. As promise, I'm not making this letter long, so I hope you like the present and please don't throw it away.

Once again, take care of your self. I hope you will find someone who appreciates you better.

Love,
Jeon Jungkook"

I could feel my heart clenches as I read his handwritten words. Taking in a shaky breath, my hands were shaking as I fold back the paper carefully.

Wiping away the tears that have fallen onto my cheeks, I run a hand through my face as I let out a frustrated cry.

" But I still love you..."
_