Star Wars Rebels: Teenage Response

Overnight (Part One)

Sabine chopped up the last of the peppers and tipped the finely cut vegetables into the pan, stirring it in with the fishmeat and compressing them together, creating a pleasing sizzling sound. As she shook the pan, she seasoned it with some salt and pepper.
"Smells good" Kanan said from behind her, sitting at the Galley table. "I appreciate you doing this, Sabine. Quite thoughtful of you"
Sabine and Kanan were having a small supper before they went to bed, and the Mandalorian offered to cook, using the knowledge of what she was taught as a child. Unlike Ketsu, Kanan whined a whole lot less in the cooking process which put less pressure on her.
Ketsu is like a little starving crybaby when I'm cooking.
And it was certainly not just food that Sabine wanted to make Ketsu beg for...
"It's cool" She said to him.
But she knew that all was not cool.
The atmosphere in the ship was rather depressing for Sabine today. Yesterday morning, Ezra had a vision regarding his parents and their current state. He was so certain that they were alive, and using the information Hera and Kanan had gained from Tseebo, they were able to use the records of a wave of prisoners who had apparently escaped from the Empire.
But of course things just couldn't fucking work out for him, just for once.
Kanan and Ezra went to Lothal, guided by Ezra's visions...but the sad truth was that Ezra's parents died during the escape. When they both got back this morning, the news flattened Sabine. She had told the kid to have faith, she herself believed that such faith would pay off...but she was wrong. There was no happy news awaiting Ezra...which was a shame, because he could've certainly used it.
And all I could tell him...was that at least he knew.
Thinking back, she thought that it was a stupid thing to say. It was true, yes...at least he knew...but it was all just so sad...such hope for him that she felt was crushed...
Another member of this crew, with no one left but ourselves.
Kanan noticed Sabine's sorrowful aura around her.
"You alright, Sabine?" He asked, but he could guess the answer already.
She quickly returned to the task of cooking, but her sadness was still present in her heart.
"I'm fine, it's just..." She closed her eyes and sighed. "That poor kid..."
Kanan nodded and let out his own sigh. He was there when the news was passed to Ezra, and that dying expression on the boys face when he was told the truth...it was a sight he wasn't going to forget for some time.
"Things have been tough for him..." He admitted. "And you too, as I've noticed. You seem very stressed, Sabine. Is there something you want to talk about?"
Sabine finished up her cooking and brought two plates to the Galley table, a dish of fried vegetables and fishmeal. It was simple, but Mandalorians always preferred nutrition value to taste...and this was particularly nutritious.
As they ate, Sabine considered Kanan's offer. There was a lot she wanted to talk about...but she didn't quite have the courage to say much of her issues.
"Not bad, y'know" Kanan complimented as he took a forkful in his mouth. "Been a while since I had something hot"
Sabine showed him a faint smile.
"You doubted my cooking?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, I wasn't left with the best impression from Life Day..." He said with his mouth full and a dumb look.
"Hey..." She chuckled and shook her head, but soon quickly thought about what she could say to Kanan.
Tell him I'm a lesbian? Ask about what exactly went down with Ezra and the former mayor of Lothal? How their encounter with the Inquisitors in Takobo went down?
Amusingly enough, Ezra told her that Ahsoka broke the Fifth Brother's arm during that engagement. Arm for arm, as he said.
"Kanan, how bad is this...dark side?" She asked curiously but also carefully. She didn't want to gave Kanan any ideas that she was referring to Ezra. "Like, what is so bad about it? Compared to...the light side?"
Kanan was rather surprised at the curiosity for the Force, at least from a Mandalorian. Still, he was glad to share the knowledge he knew...this was his best subject, after all.
"The dark side is like the opposite of the light side" He told her.
That was rather obvious.
Well, no shit.
"It's fuelled from feelings of hate, jealousy and pain" He explained. "It corrupts it's user in time...and dominates their destiny. It's as if they aren't even the same person anymore"
Sabine nervously rubbed her the back of her hands. That certainly didn't sound good...she would prefer that both Kanan and Ezra remained on this "light side".
"Don't worry, Sabine" He assured her. "You're not Force-sensitive. You don't have to concern yourself about this kind of stuff, this can only apply to me and Ezra"
It's not me I'm worried about.
"Do you think Ezra is doing a good job staying on the...good side?" She asked quietly, and anxiously.
Kanan shrugged, which didn't fill Sabine with much confidence. She couldn't forget, however, Ezra had gained yellow eyes on two occasions. Yellow eyes were a symptom of the darkness in the Force.
And both times were because of me.
"Ezra is vulnerable at his age" He informed. "Jedi are usually taken in when they are very young, before any attachments could be formed. I never knew my parents...but Ezra knew his. However, as long as Ezra has us...has you...then I'm confident he'll stay on the right course"
Sabine held her chin against her hand with an elbow on the table, playing with her food using a fork with her other hand. She had seemed to loose her appetite.
"I'm think I'm being a problem for him" She whispered.
Kanan swallowed and looked up at her, rather surprised.
"A problem? How come?"
Sabine shook her head and opened her mouth. She wanted, so badly, to just tell him all the worries she had. About her sexuality, about the impact it would have on Ezra, about the consequences that could follow...
I don't want to talk about that right now, though. But I wanna do it soon...
"I...can't say" She said in a defeated manner. "But, Kanan...could I...? I wanna talk to you and Hera, in private...tomorrow. Is that okay?"
Now Kanan was concerned. He could sense troubled thoughts and feelings inside her, but of what exactly? He did not know. He was willing to hear out anything she had to say, however. She would always have his support.
"Of course..." He assured her. "We're always here to help, Sabine. You can rely on us"
Just what she needed: assurance. This whole matter with herself and Ezra, the weight of it...it was beginning to take it's toll on her. If she kept this up, she'd slip and make a hugely wrong decision...or even just break under the sheer pressure.
"Thanks, Kanan"
When Kanan was done eating, he stood up and put the plate away. Then he was ready to head to his cabin, thanking Sabine for the supper and the effort into cooking said supper for him.
"Get some sleep soon, okay Sabine?"
Sabine was left alone as Kanan left her. She slowly finished her own plate.
"Okay" She said quietly in response, but knew Kanan wouldn't hear.
Well, now I have to tell them tomorrow.