As If I Could Ever Leave You | Levi x Reader | [EDITING]

Chapter 26 - The Journal

(A/N): FINALLY I CAN WRITE MY OWN STORY! Do not play the heart beat until said so.

Warning: The chapter contains breaking feels ! If you can't handle that then I suggest you skip the parts I tell you to!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3rd Person POV

As the Survey Corps arrived backed to HQ Levi slumped to his office, ignoring all the confused looks the remaining cadets shot at him. He opened his office door and sighs heavily before walking in more and shutting the door behind him. Slowly walking over to his desk chair he sat down and looked around. He missed her, he missed the tea she brought to him, he missed her sarcasm, he missed her laugh, her smile, her lips. He missed it all. It wasn't his fault right? He didn't cheat on her...he just couldn't push her off.

FLASHBACK

"je te deteste Ackerman" (I hate you Ackerman)

FLASHBACK END

Did she really hate him? "No...No...Please...come back to me (F/N). I promise I won't mislead you. I promise I-" he mumbled to himself, salty wet tears falling out from his eyes. He sobbed a little then a knock came from the other side of the door. He piped up and straightened himself out, wiping away his tears. "Name and Business" he said sternly, trying to hide his cracked voice. "Armin Arlert, Sir. Personal and private matters, sir." he said firmly, well, as firmly as Armin could get. "Come in." Levi said in his normal monotone voice.

"What do you want brat?" he said annoyingly, Armin held up a brown journal and Levi's eyes slightly widened, he motioned for Armin to sit down and he obliged "What is that?" Levi asked, pointing to the journal Armin held in his hands; Armin took a deep breath before speaking "Captain, I believe this journal was written by (F/N) herself. As you know we have been reported that she is dead however it was never really proven. In the first stanza of the journal it says this:

'Oh Levi. I wish I could see you again. You have always been sweet, even if it was only to me. I'm happy I know the truth, though I still cannot return. This plan you and the commander have will fail without fault. The loud roar that you had heard is a roar of surrender, a roar of suicide. Hah, who am I kidding? That was anything but suicide. You know, It's very nice writing down my thoughts and feelings.' I know this is personal but I believe she was in the forest when the female titan was going to be captured, she knew the plan would fail. She also knew you didn't do anything with Petra but for some reason she can't return. In another stanza it says this:

'You upset Kaito and Kirigiri. They'll kill you, I know it. You upset someone else to, but that someone else is already dead. Heh, i'm glad that certain someone is, because of that death, a new life is out, ready to kill anyone or anything in that life's way. So hows life? Are you happy with Petra? I know you aren't. She's so fucking annoying, so...chirpy. It hurts at the thought that she made you happy, or tired to at least.'" Armin stopped, looking back up from the journal to his Captain. Levi was in utter shock, does this mean his beloved is alive? Where is she? Why did she fake her death? Is this real? So many questions ran through his mind "In...the journal" he managed to utter out "It says..I...upset someone else...that someone else is...dead....doesn't that refer to....(F/N)?" he said lowly, his head spinning.

"Sir this is a very personal matter. I think it means she's emotionally dead...Her old self is gone and a new her is out. She changed." Armin said in a pityful voice, Levi's head was spinning. His heart was throbbing, you could hear the beat throughout his body, his ears were only filled with the beat (A/N: Play now) The world was spinning, he stood up holding onto the desk for support. Armin stood up urgently looking frightened at his stumbling Captain "Captain? CAPTAIN!" he yelled, he ran to the door and shouted in the hall way for help.