Fear

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I go to my room and take out the little compact with the vials of fear simulation serum and take one out.

I then put it inside of the needle gun and hold it to my neck.

With my eyes closed, I plunge the needle in.

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When I open my eyes, I'm on top of the Willis' Tower, standing right on the edge, looking down at the city below me.

I can already feel myself starting to sweat.

I know what I have to do now.

I have to find a way down.

Tris was right - since I'm Divergent, I need to jump. No one is watching me here, therefore I don't have to play by the rules.

I step off of the building and hold in my screams.

The second I hit the ground, it disintegrates under me and I'm inside of one of the smallest boxes I have ever seen.

I try every viable opening and it doesn't budge.

I find myself wishing Tris was here.

The box is pretty dark, so I feel around for something, anything to try and get the box to budge.

Soon after I begin my search, my hands touch something small and metallic.

A nail.

I quickly pick it up and wedge into a crevice I'm the box. This is still too much of an intense fear for me to deal with it the Divergent way.

I use all of my strength to push down on the nail, trying, praying that the box will open.

And after a few more minutes of nudging, it does.

I scramble out of the box, hating that I'm drenched in sweat, hating that my hands are trembling and my breaths are coming out clipped-

A scream pierces the air, shattering the silence.

Tris.

All other thoughts disappear from my mind. All except one:

Save her.

I jump up faster than ever and sprint on my toes to where Tris is crouched on the floor, obviously bleeding out.

But when I'm about a foot away from her, it's as if my legs stop working.

I can't move them anymore.

I'm frozen in place.

And Tris is bleeding out on the floor, screaming for me to help her, for me to end her pain.

And I can't do it.

"Tris!" I scream, flailing my arms, desperately needing to get to Tris.

But then I remember.

It's just a simulation.

She's not really dying.

But still, it seems very real.

I close my eyes and will her screams to go away.

Eventually they do.

When I open my eyes I am standing in my old Abnegation house, and Marcus is coming out from around the corner, his belt already off.

"Tobias. " He says, and I automatically cringe.

My name constantly haunts me.

But I need to stay focused. Need to get over this fear.

I walk up to him and square my shoulders to his.

"I'm done with this." I tell him firmly. "I'm not letting you control me anymore."

In any other situation, it would've been comical: Me - the legendary Four - yelling at a person in a simulation.

But this is not any other situation

"Tobias, it's for your own good." He tells me before whipping the belt in my direction.

I grab it and yank it to the side, and down goes Marcus with his illegal leather belt.

I stand over his fallen form, glaring daggers into him.

"It's for your own good. " I say to him before slamming the heel of my shoe into his face repeatedly.

I'm so done being afraid of him.

I pray that doing this is enough to destroy the fear.

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