Fix me (COMPLETED) #Wattys2016

Chapter Nineteen

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| Adam's POV |

I put Melak down and told her to wait in her spot while I carried a almost unconscious Layla bridal style over to my villa. Which is pretty ironic since she really is my bride, yet I have been treating her like unwelcome tiny stone that finds its way in to your shoe. She must be really sick if she didn't even protest about me touching her, she just didn't do anything but snuggle closer to my chest as I carried her to one of my guest rooms upstairs.

My heart was beating so fast. I've never held a woman this close to me and actually liked it. It felt weird, but a good weird. I felt tingles up my spine the moment I held her body close to me, almost every inch of her in contact with my body. I tried to ignore the weird feeling but I somehow didn't feel bad about touching her because technically she was my lawfully wedded wife. My lawfully wedded wife who stopped taking care of herself because she just couldn't afford it. I couldn't help but blame myself for the situation she is in.

If it wasn't for my rude and cold behavior towards her she wouldn't be so closed off from me. If it wasn't for my hurtful words, she wouldn't be in pain. If it wasn't for my selfish motives and actions she wouldn't be living on nothing but peanut butter and bread for two weeks, spending most of her money on her daughters needs and forgetting about herself.

Her body lost so much strength and energy since the last time I saw her. Seeing her like this, nothing but bones, dark circles around her eyes, hallow cheekbones that once looked so enticing and added to her attractiveness is almost my undoing.

I've caused her so much pain in such a short time..

I place her down on the bed careful not to put her in any more pain and discomfort than she already is in. I tuck her into the king sized bed, making sure that most of her body is covered by the marine blue comforter before I turn to leave to get Melak.

Surprisingly I find Melak standing in the same spot I told her to wait for me.. Or well not exactly as she is now sitting on the grass outside trying to feed her funny looking stuffed animal grass and something that looks like dry mud..

"Oh no angel, don't do that you'll get your clothes and hands dirty." I say before I realize that it's too late.

I pick her up and carry her bridal style, just like how I just carried her mom and this time the feeling was completely different. It's a different kind of weird feeling. This time I feel like I'm finally home. I feel the urge to protects her from all things bad, I wanna protect her from life's cruel twists and turns. I wanna block her eyes to keep her from seeing the evil that surrounds us. Her innocence and mere happiness is radiating from her, there's an aura around her that makes me want to forget everything and just be happy. I wanna keep her this happy. Forever.

I look down at her mischievously smiling face and grin at her in return. "Princesses don't do this little angel." I mock scold her.

She squeals in response and tries to smear the leftover mud on my face. "Yucky!" I dramatically exclaim and tickle her breathless while holding her muddy hands hostage.

This little girl loves being tickled to an extent. Her laughs sends happy signals to my heart, and I can't help but feel happy, almost... almost complete? But there's something missing... and I have feeling that it's the birth giver of this tiny bundle of joy that I'm carrying in my arms.

I mentally shake my head. I can't go there. I can't let my myself think that there's happiness written in my future. I don't deserve happiness. And I don't need it. Nothing lasts, and happiness always ends with pain and sadness. My life doesn't need to get any worse than it already is. Layla is probably a completely different woman than she is showing the outside world. I have a feeling she is hiding something, and that something is big. Whatever that something is, I know that when I find out I'll only like her less. I need to like her less, because I'm about to enter dangerous territory... I need to find out her secret quick for my own sanity. Commitment is complicated and complication to my already complicated life is unneeded.