Hear Me(On going)

Diary

Kysler's POV

Isang oras na kaming naghihintay pero hindi parin lumalabas yung doktor. Nakayuko ako nang may nag abot ng kulay blue na notebook? Tiningala ko yung nagbigay at si Jared yun. 

"Ano to?" Tanong ko. 

"Basahin mo na lang." sagot niya at inalalayan yung mommy ni Brionna. 

Nang bubuksan ko na yung notebook ay biglang lumabas ang doktor kaya napatayo kaming lahat. Unang lumapit si tita Coleen. 

"How is she?" tanong nito.

"It's a miracle that she's still breathing in spite of a very critical condition. I wonder how she do that. But she needs to be treated immediately. I can't guarantee a big percent of survival but still, we need to try. There's no much time left. Excuse me." sabi nito at umalis na.  

Napayuko kaming lahat sa sinabi ng doktor. Sobrang pagdudusa na ang pinagdadaanan ni Brionna ngayon pero bakit wala parin akong magawa? Hanggang sa huli isa lang akong walang kwentang tao sa buhay niya. Ang hirap sa pakiramdam na gusto kong tumulong pero wala akong magawa.

Naglakad na ako palayo sa kanila. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta o kung saan man ako mapunta. Napansin ko na lang na nasa labas na ako ng ospital. Napansin ko na ang daming dumadaan na mga couple. Kami ni Brionna, ano na ba relasyon namin ngayon? 

Binuksan ko yung notebook na binigay ni Jared. 

Diary...

"I never wanted to leave"  ang nakasulat sa first page. As in... yun lang. 

"I miss you already." second page. Yun lang ulit. Patuloy ko lang siyang binuklat at binasa.

"I'm in the hospital right now. I'll have chemo therapy tomorrow. It's lonely here"

" I miss you a lot. I want to be with you."

"I'm afraid. Today, I decided not to take the therapy. I'll become bald. Paler than I already am. I'll be like a living dead. It doesn't make no sense. My words."

"I'm in Jared's place now. I don't want to be ugly after the therapy."

"I'm in pain."

"Don't cry."

"Please." 

"Stop crying in front of many people. You hate being weak."

"You're the headline of the news again. 'The astray man.' Stop crying."

"Just hate me all you want. Blame me."

"Jared's forcing me to get treated but I don't want to. I'm afraid that when you see me you won't like me the way you used to be. I don't wanna be ugly."

"When I become ugly I wont suit you."

"Don't cry! It makes me weaker! Please!"

"I will fight."

"No matter what I do, I keep on becoming hideous."

Hindi ko napansin na tumutulo na yung mga luha ko. Patuloy lang ako sa pagbabasa.

"I wanna touch you lips. I wanna see you dance. I wanna mess your hair and I want to be with you."

"It's painful. I don't want to cry but it's too painful. I can't bear it! I feel like my bone is crushing! I hate this cancer!"