goner. ;; a joshler fanfic

three

i woke up and looked beside me, josh laid there peacefully sleeping with messy pink hair. i really appreciated what he had done for me last night. josh is really easy to talk to. we laid in bed and he just let me rant about my problems, my brothers leaving probably cause they hate me. my dad leaving probably cause of me, and my mom never being home, probably avoiding me. and of course we talked about my suicide note and blurryface. he reassured me about my insecurities and i could never thank him enough.

i got up to go brush my teeth. i looked at myself in the mirror of the bathroom and thought where id be if i didnt text josh to rescue me last night. would i have finally done it? regret. you shouldnt have texted him, youd finally be dead just like you always wanted. i shook my head and put on a fresh shirt. then went back to joshuas room. he stood there tugging on a pair of jeans

"ah im sorry, i should have knocked" i felt bad.

"shh its okay baby boy" he said pulling up his black skinny jeans.

"c'mon ill make you breakfast" josh took my hand and lead me into the kitchen. his parents were both away at work so we had the house to ourselves

i sat on the couch as josh made us pancakes, i looked down at my phone to see a missing call from one of my very few friends, frank. i decided to text him back instead of call

tyler: hey fren whyd you call

frank: i wanted to know if you wanted to come over and hang out today. you seem a little off lately so i figured you could use a friend.

tyler: thats really sweet. mind if i bring josh?

frank: oooOOOOHHH your with joshh??? ;00

tyler: yea were kinna.. dating now

frank: WOOO OTP CANON AF SEE IF HE CAN BRING A CUTE GUY TODAY I NEED A BOYFRIEND

tyler: hah ill see what i can do, is 4 a good time to come over?

frank: yupyup ill see you then :))))))

"hey do you know any cute guys you could set up frank with?"

"yea i could pull some strings" josh said with a chuckle

"cool were going to franks around 4 so.." i said extending the o

"you got it babe, pancakes are ready"

we sat at the table eating just enjoying being with each other. josh finished before me, went to his room and called his friend so frank would be happy.

i sat alone at the table eating my pancakes when i started to feel sick as wave of regret washed over me

youshouldhavetakenallthepillsyoushouldhavetakenallthepillsyoushouldhavetakenallthepills

i couldnt take it anymore. i wanted to be dead so bad, i needed to cut. i got up and looked around the kitchen for something suitable. i picked up a knife and rolled up my sleeve. i sat on the cool tiles of the kitchen you deserve this i put the blade to my skin and applied pressure, i slid the knife over my skin, reopening a cut and i started to bleed. i started crying your a wimp i cut again. more blood. you deserve to die one more cut. my arm was now stained red and i was trying not to get it on the kitchen floor. i stood up and leaned over the kitchen sink crying.

then josh walked back into the room

"hey so gerard said he wasnt doing anything and be happy to-"

i was caught.

"baby boy whats wrong??" he said walking over to me. he opened a drawer, got a cloth out and was soaking up the blood

"i-im sorry" i said quietly almost a whisper. he took care of my cuts and made me feel better you dont deserve him

by the time he had wrapped up my arm with a bandage there was a knock at the door. i wiped away my tears, knowing it was gerard. i was never close with him, he was a good friend of joshes so id seen him alot besides just around school.

josh opened the door and greeted him.

"hey gee hows it going"

"good good" he saw me sitting on the couch and we made eye contact for a split second til i looked away

"hey tyler"

"h-hi" fuck im such a loser

gerard came over to the living room and sat on a chair across from me. josh followed and sat next to me holding my hand.

"so you two finally dating?" gerard said with a small smirk

"yess" josh proudly answered

we then made small talk and before we knew it, it was almost 4 so we headed over the franks house.

woo sorry for the kinna short chapters theyre all probably gonna be around this length, hope you guys are enjoying it and also yay adding some mcr to the mix