goner. ;; a joshler fanfic

thirteen

joshes POV

'goodnight ty ily2'

i set my phone down and i knew that tyler wasnt doing good. but frank told me not to push it so im not gonna push it.

ive been worrying about tyler alot since i walked in on him cutting. why couldnt he just see himself they way i saw him. he deserves the best and i feel like im not helping anything.

i rolled over and fell back asleep

-

i woke up shortly after 12 i had a shower and made myself breakfast. after i ate i went into my room to text tyler

'hey if your feeling better wanna hang out today? if not its fine we can hang out later.'

i was worried about him. i had a feeling in my gut something wasnt right. i tried calling tyler but there was no answer. i figured he might be at franks, or he would know where ty was and since i didnt have his number i walked over to franks house.

at this point it was almost 1:30pm so i figured he should be awake. i knocked on the door and was greeted by who i assume is franks mother

"uh hi, im a friend of franks. is he home?"

"yea step in hun" she called for frank and he came down the stairs looking like he just rolled out of the grave

"oh hey josh" his mom had gone back upstairs and it was just me and frank standing in the doorway

"hey frank"

"what brings you here" he said tilting his head slightly to the left

"im worried about tyler hes not answering my texts or my calls and i thought you might know where he was"

"fuck" he mumbled under his breath. similar to the time i mentioned tyler cutting last time i was over.

"mom im going for a walk i wont back for a bit" he called up to his mother

"ok you two boys have fun" she called back

frank slipped on a pair of beaten up converse and rushed out the door

"where are we going" i asked catching up to him as he speed walked

"i dont know. wheres you house i cant drive"

i lead the way to my house and we drove over to tylers house. the driveway was empty so i figured tylers mom wasnt home.

frank got out of the car and ran over to the door. he attempted to open it but it was locked

"fuck" he said once again. i get the feeling he likes that word

"what?" i knew what was wrong but i just didnt want to stand there silently

"its locked"

he then lifted up a nearby flowerpot and picked up the key that was hiding under it.

"after i tried to kill myself last year tyler and i promised to keep spare keys outside our houses incase we needed anything" he tried to kill himself? why?

"well then" i didnt know what to say. it was awkward being alone with frank i just had so many questions

he hurriedly unlocked the door and ran into tylers room. i followed him and thought about how he could run really fast considering his height.

"hes not there." he turned around and headed for the bathroom. he twisted the handle but it was locked. he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a guitar pick he started fiddling with the lock with shaking hands

"oh my god tyler you promised me" he mumbled

"promised what"

he tossed me his phone

"add you number"

i added my number into his phone and gave it back.

"ughh do you have a bobbypin" he grumbled stepping away from the door

"let me try" i grabbed the pick and got it open.

"how did you- stay here" he took the pick back, stepped into the bathroom and closed the door

"frank go away" i heard a small broken voice whisper

"tyler what were you going to do"

"im sorry frank i know i promised you but i cant do this anymore" he broke down crying

what the fuck did they promise. and why was frank closer to tyler than i was? im his boyfriend! i must be doing something wrong what am i-

frank opened to door with one hand and had a bloody knife in the other and lead tyler out of the bathroom. he handed me the knife

"can you put that in the kitchen sink please" frank said quietly

"s-sure" i looked over at tyler who was avoiding my eyecontact. im such a bad boyfriend.

i put the knife in the kitchen sink like told and went back to tylers room. as i walked down the hall i could hear tyler saying something. i couldnt make out all of what he was saying.

"i just- i dont deserve to live frank i dont want to be here anymore... he convinced me i shouldnt be alive and... i just looked at the knives and it felt right" he said with a weak sobbing voice

"tyler your worth living and i dont care what he said. you were given a life and you deserve life" who was he?

"but my m-mom-"

"you cant choose your family. you can stay with me for a bit if it would make you feel better" frank said comfortingly

"would your parents be o-okay with me"

"are you kidding they love you ty. im gonna go get josh im sure he wants to talk to you"

at that point i walked into the room and frank walked past me

"be good to him" he whispered as he brushed past

did he think i told tyler he shouldn't be alive? who was the 'he' they were talking about? what did i do?

im sorry i just love frank iero a little too much