goner. ;; a joshler fanfic

five

the sun was about to set and josh said we should get leaving soon i was on my way out the door when i got a call from frank.

"hello?"

"hey ty can you come over i need a friend right now."

"sure ill be over soon,  bye"

"bye"

frank didnt sound like he was doing well. last year he tried to kill himself as he also suffers from depression.

"jish?"

"yea babe?"

"i got to go over to franks now i dont know when ill be back."

"what about our date?" he sounded pretty disappointed but i was closer to frank than anyone else. he was my best friend.

"sorry- can we do it later? frank needs me"

"sure." he didnt sound satisfied but i didnt care. wed been dating for barely a day, sure i really liked josh but if frank needs me to be with him then ill be right by his side. just like he'd been for me. josh claimed to always been there when i needed him. and he was when i talked to him about it but usually when i need to talk to someone frank is who i go to.

i threw on my skeleton hoodie and walked to franks house. it was getting dark and the sun set painted the sky with pinks and blues. i walked up to franks door and knocked. then i thought what if something happened? what if he tried to kill himself again? was he okay?

frank opened the door "hey thanks for coming i know you were probably busy with josh or whatever-" he said leaning on the door frame

"no, no its fine you mean a lot to me. are you okay"

"not really. after you left gerard tried to kiss me."

"isnt that good" i was confused. gerard was perfect for frank and frank had been wanting someone for years

"yea but i dont like to go fast and i want to be friends for at least a week before we start dating.."

"im sorry" i gave him a hug. and he gestures to come in

"its whatever. gerard just looked at me with regret and said he should get home before to lake. fuck tyler im worthless" i hated seeing him so down

"no your not ill get josh to talk to him if you want"

"yea," he said wiping his eye "id like that" we sat down on a couch in the living room

"how have you been doing lately? ive been worried about you non-stop since" i didnt know how to word it, i looked down at my feet "y'know. last year" he had been hospitalized for a few days then sent home. they didnt think he was a threat to himself. 

"ive been feeling better ever since the doctor put me on zoloft"

"im glad." and i really was i loved frank like a brother; but not like my shitty brothers

we talked for a bit more than watched nightmare before christmas and he fell asleep on my arm.

around midnight i decided it wasnt fair to leave josh in the dust so i left a note telling frank i went back to joshes and i started to walk back

it a warm night a soft breeze rustling the trees leaves. i figured it was to nice of a night to not go on a walk. i started walking having no idea where i was going. there was a lake close to josh and franks neighbourhood therefore some bridges high up bridges  i walked to the closest bridge and sat on the ledge my feet dangling. i could jump now and end it all  i thought. then my phone went off. it scared me so bad im surprised i didnt fall. josh had texted me 'hey when are u gonna be home' never coming home 'dont know' i hit send

im not sure how long i sat up on the ledge ready to jump. im not sure why i didnt. it started raining. 'are u still at frnks' 'wait no-franks**'

i giggled at his typo josh always did that. he would type really fast and hit send without realizing his typos 'no i went for a walk' 'its gonna rain baby boy where are u ill pick u up' i didnt want to reply back, i was going to kill myself.

its bad enough he knows about my depression, blurryface and that i cut. nobody knew i was suicidal- well except for frank who i couldnt keep anything from. im surprised i havent told him about my suicide note for this long. it slowly started to rain  'hello?????' josh texted. i felt bad not responding. 'the bridge on acadia rd'

'k' 

why did you go that. hes going to come here and not see you. cause your going to jump. a few minutes of wanting to jump later a set of headlights drove up behind me. i didnt look back, it was pouring rain at this point. i heard wet footsteps running towards me "tYLER what are you doing?! dont jump!!" he picked me up off the ledge and carried me to the car. i was soaked. "what were you going to do??" he asked worriedly. i shrugged "what if i hadnt texted you" i shrugged again looking out the window and avoiding eye contact.

"tyler. talk to me.." he sounded so defeated. 

woo another annoyingly short chapter im sorry but i wasnt even gonna write anything today i just didnt want to do homework also had the idea for this chapter in class today. hope you had a great day ily