goner. ;; a joshler fanfic

twenty nine

its been a week of isolation. a week since i screamed at blurryface in front of my friends. and a week since ive seen or talked to anyone besides frank.

you forgot a week since you had any sort of sanity

i stared at the wall as his voice filled my head with thoughts

why are you still even alive its not like you have anything to lose

you only have things to gain

ive been cutting alot in the past week, like multiple times a day

what a shame you havent yet today

not like anyone would care if you did cut. nobody actually cares

thats a good point

exactly! why havent you just done it yet

i cut 6 times yesterday..

god your so fucking stupid just kill yourself already!

its also been a week since ive gotten any sleep

i felt myself stand up and leave my room, which only happened to go to the bathroom. franks been bringing me food forcing to eat but besides that. its been a week since ive eaten

i walked into the bathroom and locked the door and found my familiar small blade

thats right, cut a deep vertical line down your wrist then this will all be over, all the suffering and pain

that sounded nice

blurryface and i have became good friends in the past week. i trust him

"okay" i said with a shaky breath as i sat down rolling up my sleeves and leaning against the wall

there you go

the blade was inches away from the bottom of my wrist where i was going to start the cut

it was like i wasnt in control, the blade slowly started to press against my skin when there was a knock

"tyler joseph what are you doing" it was of course frank.

fuck

i heard him try to open the door.

"tyler i came prepared i have a penny dont make me unlock this door myself"

do it! end it now!

i put the blade on the counter and unlocked the door

"h-hey" i forced a smile on my face and pulled my sweater sleeves over my hands

he took my hand and lead me into the kitchen. my mom wasnt home, she was at my aunts for a couple weeks

"ty you werent gonna kill yourself just then were you?"

say no or so help me tyler-

"no"

"okay good. but tyler you should really stop cutting, please if not for you for me"

just go along with it. you need to cut he doesnt understand

"ill try."

he walked around the kitchen getting stuff to make me food

"pancakes sound good?"

"yup." i didnt feel like eating

dont worry. once he leaves you can just throw it up

good idea.

-

frank made pancakes and kept me company for a few hours, long after throwing up my food was even an option. he eventually had to go because his cousin was having a birthday party. but before he left he took my blade, and everything else i could cut with

well its just you and me again

looks like it.

now that death by cutting isnt an option itll have to be something else

id say hang yourself but where would you do that? your not smart enough to think of somewhere that would work

id say overdose but your weak and would just throw it up. why do you have to be so pathetic?

sorry.

i guess youll have to jump. i hear the bridge on acadia road is pretty high..