goner. ;; a joshler fanfic

nineteen

we walked in ryans house and i kicked off my shoes. ryan was already headed up the stairs and gestured for me to follow. i followed him up the stairs, down a hallway and we stopped in front of a door at the end of the hall.

"sorry it kinna messy" ryan said quietly before pushing the door open.

his room unlike mine, wasn't messy at all. the walls were a light grey. one wall was covered in posters for several bands and movies. another wall had a few paintings on it, another wall was empty except for three windows with drawn back curtains. leaving the final wall blank. his bed was a mess of blankets and was pushed into the corner opposite of the door. ryan sat down on the end of his bed and i sat next to him.

"so was there something you wanted to talk about or did you just want to skip school."

ryan looked up at me with big sad brown eyes.

"well, i mean i dont want to sound like a needy loser or anything"

"no, no its fine tell me." i crossed my legs and looked at him with curiosity.

"do you know who brendon urie is?" i looked up at the ceiling and thought for a second

"hmm- not sure, maybe. why? who is he?"

"ok, dont judge me for this. and please dont tell anyone if my mom found out she'd kill me"

"y-you can trust me" i started to feel panic. what was he talking about

"b-brendon is.. hes.. my.." he looked away "my.. ex." he then shot his gaze back at me waiting for a reaction

"oh" i tried not to smile. i wasnt interested in ryan like that but it felt good to have other gay friends

"yea, im gay" ryan looked down at his lap so i wouldnt notice him blushing- which i did

"i-its cool" i took a breath in "i am too"

he shot his head up in disbelief

"no way?! thats awesome!!" he now had a smile on his face

"but same, please dont tell anyone."

"dont worry i wont."

"so whyd you and brendon break up?" i regretted asking once i saw ryans big smile fade.

"oh right, i dont know he just broke up with me during lunch. by text!" he looked as if he was going to cry

"im so sorry"

"i dont even know what i did!!"

"its his loss ryan."

"i just-" he was full on crying now

"he didnt say why. he just texted me-" he wiped his eyes and showed me the text that read 'sorry i want to break up' he had replied 'oh okay'

i pulled him into a hug as ryan cried on my shoulder.

"its gonna be okay" i said quietly into his ear

we sat hugging for a few minutes but were interupted by my phone ringing. i pulled my phone out of my pocket

"shit sorry" it was josh calling

"hello?"

"hey ty. where are you? i got your text. why dont you need a ride?"

"why arent you in class?" i said ignoring his questions

"why arent you in class?" i smiled remembering doing the same thing to gerard not that long ago.

"josh."

"tyler."

"im not in class because my friend needed someone to talk t-"

"who?"

"it doesnt matter. now why arent you in class"

"because!! where are you?!" he snapped

"alright, im sorry." i was hurt josh snapped at me. i was helping my friend, he had nothing to do with this

"do i know this friend?"

"why do you even care"

"because tyler, i get a weird text from you saying you dont need a ride and now your skipping class with your friend. how come youd never do that with me?" i looked up at ryan who had started crying again

"i got to go josh. bye"

"tyler wai-" i hung and put my phone on vibrate

"sorry about that. i guess hes not uses to me having any friends besides frank."

"no im sorry, its my fault"

"no its not."

i gave him another hug and comforted him for a bit. we talked about brendon then other things like bands and movies, it was getting  late and josh had kept texting me.

"i should get going before Josh goes crazy.. sorry."

"no it's fine, thanks for coming over I'll see you tomorrow." Ryan smiled up at me

i headed out the door and started walking over to my house. on the way i decided to check what the texts were that Josh had sent me.

'Tyler where are u'

'I'm sorry okay?'

'tyjo i stg'

'are u with frank'

'nvm i called gee he's with frank'

'Gerard said u were with ryan wtf why couldnt u just tell me'

'tyler why are you ignoring me'

i decided to call him

"Tyler what the fuck? why couldn't you just say you were with Ryan?!"

"because i didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable! why does it even matter?"

he didn't say anything

"Josh?" i spoke in a calmer tone

"can you come over?" he said quietly

"can't i got a big test to study for tomorrow sorry" i felt bad for saying no but i was already doing terrible in that class

"but what about our plans"

"well stuff came up with Ryan we can hang out tomorrow. it isn't a big deal it's not like we had anything planned, I'm sorry"

"you're right. I'm sorry, I'll text you later goodluck studying"

"I'm sorry it's just-"

"no, it's fine. goodbye ty i love you"

"i love you too"

i hope you guys liked this chapter i like having Ryan i hope your having a great day wherever you are ily byee