goner. ;; a joshler fanfic

twenty six

this is my first day of summer vacation woo!! im gonna have alot more time to write which is great but theres very few chapters left of this so im thinking of starting a frerad fic before this one ends would anyone read it??

josh texted me asking for me and frank to come to his party tonight and i said yes because i felt a bit bad for being sorta rude to brendon and also i knew frank could use some human interaction that isnt me or gerard.

i told frank i was going to the party and he came over so we could walk to the party together

when we got there we were the first few people i assumed because it was barely even dark yet. josh welcomed us in and brendon smiled at me

"hey tyler, can i talk to you for a second" he said as josh walked away greeting two girls. one with half black half blonde hair and the other had long redish hair.

"uhh sure" 

he pulled me towards the doors heading to the backyard i looked back at frank and shrugged

"sorry if i was being a little rude this morning i just-"

"what was that about?" he said brushing off my apology

"i went to go visit ryan" i looked down at my shoes "i didnt expect to run into someone and wasnt mentally ready for a conversation im really sorry"

"dont worry about it" brendon suddenly sounded less excited and more calm and understanding

"thanks, so what did you want to talk about"

"actually" he looked over his shoulder "it can wait." 

-

for most of the party i was just sitting on a couch talking with frank when the girl that came in after us sat down next to me.

"hi" the unnamed girl said to me sweetly

"uh" i glanced at frank then at the girl "hi"

"so who invited you guys here?" the redish haired girl said coldly

"i-uh" she didnt seem so sweet anymore

"sorry i just meant like did brendon or josh invite you cause im a friend of joshes so i just- i dont know where im going with this"

"oh um-"

"were friends with both of them" frank cut in as i drowned myself in my own words

"oh cool, im debby, i dont know if josh has mentioned me"

"doesnt sound familiar." 

i shot frank a look as debby began to look like she was going to cry

"doesnt surprise me, i always liked him more than friends but hes never liked me like that. he told me hes bi so he has to like me" she sounded like she was about to cry "he was dating some tyler guy" frank and i exchanged looks "b-but n-now" she began to look up at the ceiling "now hes dating brendon why doesnt he like me?"

frank started to say something but then the girl with half and half hair came up to debby

"ugh sorry shes had a few and is heartbroken"

"its fine" frank and i said in unison

"im melanie" she smiled exposing a tooth gap which in my opinion suited her nicely

"im gonna bring her home before she tries anything with josh, see ya later"

she guided her drunk friend through the crowd and dissappeared

"that was... something" i said to frank 

-

melanie came back to the party after bringing her friend home and we talked for a bit then she left after she saw some girl with blue hair. brendon sat down next to me and looked me in the eye

"yo, tyjo i got something to say to you"

"w-what"

"about what i was saying earlier"

he paused and looked at frank

"can we talk somewhere else?"

he led me through a crowd and to the backyard which had less people in it.

"so what did you-"

he let go of my hand and looked at me with sad eyes

"i dont have anyone else to talk to but you tyler. i know we dont know each other much but-"

"no its f-"

"let me talk. listen man i just i miss ryan so damn much. i loved him i dont know what i was thinking that one night. im such an idiot i missed him so much even when we was alive i missed his kisses, his hugs, oh god tyler he gave the best hugs" he was starting to cry "i still love him and ill never stop tyler he meant so much to me id do anything to have just 5 minutes with him again to say im sorry and i still and always will love him and-" 

he took a second to breathe 

"josh asked me out and i was like yea sure i kinna had a thing for him but its not fair to him because im still in love with ryan ill miss him forever oh god tyler it hurts so fucking much!"

he hugged me and sobbed into my shoulder

"you can come with me next time i go to visit, i know i didnt know him as long as you and we werent as close as you were with him either but i can only imagine how much this sucks for you"

"id like that" he pulled away from the hug and wiped his tears "thank you tyler."