Kyle's Book Of Nonsense For Cool People

Unit 5

Introduction

This week's unit of nonsense will be very special... Probably because I stayed up all night and am even more crazy than usual XD To start off though, we have an extra special offer. Drum roll please....

The Aaron the Aron Fan Club can now be official! I designed this official looking gear that definitely is not just Photoshopped images!

Aaron Mugs...

...Aaron T-shirts...

...and last but not least Aaron Cell Phone Charms!

Get all of the merchandise for the most beloved character of "What's So Great About Being A Trainer Anyways?!" All it takes is easy two payments of $19.99 to go towards Kyle's Become-A-Professional-Writer-Instead-Of-A-Real-Job Fund!

*gets whispers from the Kyle manager*

What do you mean we can't do that?! I worked like less than an hour designing those, are you telling me that all my hard work was for nothing?!

*more whispers from the Kyle manager*

Oh, that's right. Everything is a joke here!

Serious Wall

Ironically for something that came right after the above statement about everything being a joke, this wall is actually pretty serious. I haven't been here for very long, but in the past few weeks I've noticed a lot people just really down in the dumps, whether from overwhelming schoolwork, people troubles, or just plain life not going their way. I've even seen people considering stopping writing for a while. It may not be much, but I tried to write this little poem for you guys in hopes that it would be a little uplifting and have some meaning for your journey here on Wattpad :)

Why do we write?

Is it to escape,

Or is it to fight?

Fight against broken ideals,

Hapless misfortune,

Corrupt deals,

A world that can't hold its own tune.

But what is our planet,

When we can make one anew?

As every word we set

Can make the sky change hue.

We use the pen's might

To make the impossible.

Why do we write?

In our dreams we're unstoppable

That was probably really cheesy, but I thought that I'd at least give it a shot :) Never give up, especially on writing!

0.1-Shot Wall

Okay, back to the normal stuff. So there's one-shots, but what happens when they're super small one-shots? Well, in my case, they're one tenth of that: 0.1-shots.

Okay, so first a little background on this. Last night my friends and I tried playing Dungeons and Dragons. Well, let's just say that things didn't go as planned, partially due to us just being crazy, but also because of the fact that we had no idea what we were doing. This following narrative is from the point of view of my character, with things made a little bit more PG.

My name is Roe-roe Fite "The Power." Everyone just calls me "The Power." I'm a righteous paladin, minus one teansy little very habitual transgretion, but that's not very important. I'm an all around good guy that everyone likes. Now the question is, how did I end up in prison? Good question. It was actually two reasons.

I failed to completely fill out my tax returns.

I brought anachronisms into the game.

Are these little things really worth throwing a man into prison for? No! And I intend to get out. Recently the guards haven't been coming by, so, with the help of a blind gnome, we are all unleashed from our cells. We have nothing but our prison clothes, and almost everyone around me is in here for murder, so I guess you could say that things couldn't get much worse.

Ha. If only that were ever true. We found a room that had chests loaded with our previous equipment in them, but a certain man had the bright idea of lighting a random chest on fire, incinerating some of its contents. I suspect that he was hoping that that chest held my stuff. I inspected one of the chests and found some thieving equipment in them. Oh, like that was going to pass by me, so I confiscated the tools and tried different chests, luckily getting to mine in time. The only thing I lost was my pedigree that said that I was the 8th heir to a noble family to the same pyromaniac's torch. Of course, it had to be that.

Now this thief was a peculiar one. He told me about his stories of woe, and I decided to make a totally not corrupt bargain with the man, giving him back his tools after he repented and promised "the goods".

Oh, and I tried on some perfume that I just so happened to have. At least the monsters will think I smell nice before they gnaw off my leg.

I expertly navigate a collapsing part of the building, not getting a single scratch, but one wrong turn in a labyrinth and bam! A creature disguised as a chest attacks, sending me to what these people called "players" said was "negative thirty health points." Apparently that creature was about eight times too powerful for me to take on.

But I was not done yet. I was somehow brought back to life as a mechanical bird, and I periodically blurted out "kaw" before my destruction at the hands of a glass cannon that was precariously hidden behind a desk and triggered. I'm so done with this world.

Conclusion

*gasp* No Character Interview Wall today?! What madness is this?! I was getting into a groove and then I had to go and be all creative. Well, mistakes happen. Maybe it'll get its budget back next week. What do you guys think? What do you want to see more of on this, if anything? I'd be interested to hear what segments you guys like the best :) Until next week!