One and Only

Part 4

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Camila's POV
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TWO MONTHS LATER
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I was home for the first time in two weeks. I don't know why I had started spending so much time with Adam lately-sleeping at his house, never coming home to the loft-but I refused to let myself believe it was because of these foreign things I was feeling for Lauren. I reasoned that spending time with Adam was going to make me more prepared for marriage with him. It would make us stronger, I told myself.
It's not like Lauren was lonely, anyway, because every time I had been in the loft during the last two months, Gabrielle was there, which wasn't bad but it had been a tad strange not being alone with Lauren for so long, especially since they had been dating for a little over two months-Lauren's longest relationship.
When I opened the door for the first time in what felt like forever, music filled my ears. It was Wasted Time by The Eagles. I smiled, knowing Lauren was writing in her study. That meant she was alone-she never let anyone but me in her study.
Making my way to meet her, I heard Gabrielle call my name from the balcony. She peeped her head into the living room where I stood and smiled, looking as perfect as I remembered her to be. "Come sit with me! Lauren's busy writing. You know her." She rolled her eyes and I giggled, stepping outside to see her. She had strung lights across the railing, candles lit up beside her. It amazed me what she had done with the place; you could see her own little touches on everything we owned now. It was like she was almost living with us. "Lauren's missed you. She'll be really excited to see that you are back from Adam's. How did that go? Are you all excited and ready to move in with him?" Her eyes were sparkling; she looked really happy.
"It went fine. Everything is falling into place. We will be married soon." I knew my smile didn't reach my eyes, but Gabrielle didn't seem to notice.
"Do you think Lauren will ever get married?"
I blinked, my eyebrows furrowed. What. What! Married? Lauren? Married? She was waiting for a reply when I took a deep breath to make sure I watched my words. I didn't want to offend Gabrielle, but I definitely didn't want to give her false hope. They had been dating for two months. "You never know." I finally spoke, my voice shaky. She beamed at me.
"I really, really like her."
This made me grin. I did like the two girls together, I thought it was really good for Lauren. "Tell me about it. What's it like?"
Gabrielle looked at me, confused. "What's what like?"
"Dating Lauren. I mean, being best friends with her for that many years... you see a lot of people who want to be with her, even after she leaves them, you know? They come back. I know she's special, just what is it that makes everyone crazy over her?"
Her confusion returned to a smile as she thought about it. "She's... well, she's perfect. She has a good sense of humor, she makes me laugh 24/7, she's super hot..." Gabrielle laughed. "She's very easy to open up to, but I'm assuming you know that." I nodded. "It's like you can tell her anything, it doesn't matter what you say, she'll listen. You can cry or scream or laugh hysterically like you're crazy, like a maniac, yet she's always there with open arms, just waiting to comfort you, to be there. She's unlike anyone I've ever met and you're just drawn to her." She smirked at me. "She's really good in bed." I blushed as she continued. "I've never wanted someone like that so much in my life. One moment, I'm mad at her for something stupid and then the next, we're stripped naked, making up, and she makes me feel really good." She looked at me, tilting her head the way Lauren does. "Is it like that with Adam? I mean, do you feel that way about him?"
I grimaced as I thought about it. Adam was nothing like what Gabrielle had just described. It took all I had in me to muster up an answer. "Yes," I said, even though I knew the truth. I think she knew, too.
"I love her, I think." She confessed and I silently cringed at the words. Oh, bless that girl's heart. It had never ended well for the ones who loved Lauren Jauregui. "I don't think she loves me, though. Not yet. I'm hoping one day. After all, I'm not getting any younger." She joked, and I smiled out of sympathy.
"Maybe." I said, even though I knew the truth. I think she knew, too. "I'm going to go say hi to Lauren." I got up to leave.
"Oh, she doesn't let anyone in her study when she's writing."
I laughed. She was speaking to me like I was meeting Lauren for the first time, as if I hadn't been living with her for the past four years. "Well, if she doesn't let me in, I'll wait." Gabrielle looked unsure as I walked into the living room, but it was the first time I was going to see my Lauren outside of work in two weeks-I was determined. When I knocked on the door, the music stopped.
"What is it, Gabrielle?" I heard her voice from inside of the room, my smile growing wider. I opened the door quietly as she was looking down at her work.
Closing the door behind me, she glanced up. "Oh, hey."
I gaped. Hey? I haven't been home for two weeks and I get a 'hey'?
She smirked, getting up from her seat, and I knew she was kidding. "Well, I just might take myself back to Adam's if that's all I get." In an instant, I was in her arms. She practically tackled me backwards and I stumbled, trying to keep my balance. "That's more like it." I laughed and she pulled away, kissing me on the cheek briefly before staring at me with her arms around my waist, my arms around her neck. "I missed being here. I missed you." I said.
Lauren nodded, her smile bright as ever. "The place is empty without you and so am I. I haven't cuddled in two weeks, you know? Your fault." She scolded me playfully.
I grinned. "I don't see why you couldn't cuddle with Gabrielle."
"Because you're my cuddle buddy... and you know I don't cuddle with my girlfriends." Her face scrunched up at the thought. "Once I do that, they start talking about love and stuff-kind of like you do. Bleh."
My smile never faltered; I really was glad to be back home. Sure, I saw Lauren at the office but it wasn't the same. We hadn't gone out lately to do anything: breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, movie, etc. Our meet-ups were strictly at work recently-I was busy with Adam and she with Gabrielle... I was just really relieved to be back here with her. "Oh, Lauren. One day you'll have to fall for someone. I hope it's Gabrielle. I think you two are good together."
She laughed at me. "Don't get too ahead of yourself. Anyway, let's not talk about her. I want to know more about your two weeks. Is there any news? Wedding still on? Are you pregnant? Did you have fun at Adam's?"
"Hmm... To answer those-yes, no, and... yes." Okay, so, I may have told a small, white lie on the last answer, but I wasn't about to bombard Lauren with the details of the two weeks with Adam. After all, they weren't necessarily awful... Just really, really unpleasant.
"Glad to hear that you're still engaged and that you had a good time. Also glad to hear you aren't pregnant."
"Me, too." I smiled. "If I was pregnant, I'd be too scared you wouldn't love my baby... you know, since you don't believe in that stuff." I joked, but a frown formed on her face. Oh, no.
"You don't really think that, do you, Camz?" She asked, worried. I quickly shook my head no. How stupid could I be for saying that? Especially with her childhood... Jesus, Camila, get a grip.
"No! Of course not, Lauren. I was kidding. That was a bad joke. I'm sorry." I managed to say. This was Vulnerable Lauren and Lauren rarely showed emotion, especially hurt, so I had to be very careful.
"I would love your children, Camila. Just like I love you. You are special to me and the life you create will be special to me, too." She said, matter-of-factly.
I nodded. "I know, Laur. I'm sorry. That was a careless thing for me to say." I relaxed when she tightened her grip on my waist, signaling that it was okay.
Gabrielle appeared at the door and I noticed she wouldn't step foot in Lauren's study. Lauren and I met Gabrielle's eyes and, just like that, Vulnerable Lauren was gone. I grimaced. That was one of the few chances I got to explore more of Lauren's mind and it was just snatched right away from me. I knew now that that was probably why Lauren never let anyone but me into her study. Her study was her place filled with her writing-lyrics, poems, sheet music-all of which came from her very guarded heart.
"Should I go?" was all Gabrielle said.
When Lauren let go of me, I was reminded at how close we were. I quickly put my hands by my side. Gabrielle glanced at me nervously.
"No!" I said at the same time Lauren said, "Yes." I glared at the girl beside me.
Gabrielle smiled anyway, seemingly unfazed by Lauren's directness. I suppose she might have gotten used to it in the two months they've known each other. Lauren left my side to meet Gabrielle at the door, kissing her lightly before walking her out.
I walked into the living room when Lauren returned, my eyebrows raised knowingly at her. "Why did you ask your lovely girlfriend to leave?"
"She's been staying here for weeks, keeping me company, but now that you're back, she doesn't need to be here all the time." She walked into her room.
I followed her, watching as she sat down on her bed and picked up a journal and pen. "Why not?"
"Because she doesn't live here."
"Are you two getting serious?"
She laughed at me again, her eyes glued to the journal. "It's been like a couple of weeks."
"It's been two months. So... do you like her?" I sat down at the edge of her bed.
My question made her think as she looked up at me. "She's nice."
I gaped. "She's nice? She's the best girlfriend you've ever had." Not like I had anyone to compare her to. She was the first girl Lauren had let me properly meet, after all.
Lauren rolled her eyes at my exasperation. "What do you want me to say?"
"Well, just tell me what you think of her." She did her little shrug, the one that made me understand more of why Gabrielle and so many others were in love with Lauren.
"Like I said, she's nice. She's pretty, has a great laugh." She stopped and I prompted her to continue. "Um... you two get along, so that's good." Lauren sighed. "I don't know, Camz. All I can say is that it's not serious."
I grimaced, remembering all of what Gabrielle told me about her feelings for Lauren. They were so in depth compared to the ones Lauren had just expressed. "Do you think you love her?" I asked.
Lauren's eyes widened just before a smile broke out onto her face. "Oh, Camz. No, I don't love her."
"Then why are you with her?"
She shrugged once again, focusing back on her writing. "She's nice." Lauren repeated.
It was interesting to me the way this thing was working out. I knew that the way Gabrielle felt about Lauren was the way I was supposed to feel about Adam when in reality, the way I felt for Adam was the way Lauren felt for Gabrielle. Maybe Gabrielle and Adam deserved each other, I don't know, but I wasn't about to question it more than I already had. I needed to stay with Adam and Lauren needed to stay with Gabrielle. That was the way it was supposed to be, no matter what new feelings were surfacing to me about what I felt for my best friend.
Lauren looked up at me. "What's wrong?" Her voice was laced with concern.
I shook my head. "Nothing." I don't know why I thought she would even believe me saying that.
Lauren placed her journal to the side, laying down on the bed. "Come on. Come here." She spoke and I smiled, laying on my side so that we were facing each other. "You don't have to tell me what's bothering you, but just know that you can." I nodded. The fact that Lauren cared so deeply for me made my heart flutter. "Until then," she continued, "you can have BFF cuddles."
I giggled before wrapping my arms around her. There was no feeling better than the one I got from this. I felt complete; like I belonged somewhere-right in her arms. Not in Adam's, but in Lauren's. I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the internal storm that was to come: I had feelings for Lauren Jauregui.