One and Only

Part 28

One and Only - Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lauren's POV
-
I woke with a jolt, sitting up rapidly. My eyes flitted across the room, trying to figure out where I was, before they landed on the girl next to me. Camila was sleeping peacefully, a sheer sheet covering her bare body.
I sighed, my hand flying up to my forehead to try to ease my sudden headache. That wasn't supposed to happen. That was the opposite of what was supposed to happen! The worst part of it was that it was my own fault. I couldn't entirely blame this on her anymore.
-
"When did we turn fifteen again?"
I turned away from the movie to look at Camila who was grinning at me. "What do you mean?"
"I mean we're sitting in my bed, eating ice-cream in our pajamas, watching this lame movie-"
"Hey!" I interrupted, "High School Musical is not lame."
She playfully rolled her eyes at me. "Everyone thinks you're so cool. This could ruin your rep, you know."
"My rep?"
"Yeah, as the big hot-shot stud."
I scrunched my nose up, amused. "The big hot-shot stud, huh?"
Camila nodded, swallowing a spoonful of ice-cream. I noticed some residue on the side of her mouth, trying not to giggle.
"You've got a little..." I gestured, motioning where it was on my face.
"Oh." She said, placing the bowl on the nightstand, her cheeks tinted pink.
"Here," I scooted closer to her, "Let me." I moved my hand toward her face, not missing the way she sucked in a deep breath. Her chocolate hues stared up at me, watching my every move. When my thumb touched her face, she closed her eyes, almost as if she was savoring the small contact, and my mind flashed back to a few days ago when I was doing this same thing, only it wasn't ice-cream smeared near her mouth. It was my lipstick. "Got it," I whispered, her eyes reopening at the sound of my voice.
I couldn't help but notice just how close my face was to hers. In one quick motion I could have those soft lips on mine. I didn't remember ever wanting anything more. All I had to do was lean forward.
So I did.
Her bottom lip trembled as I kissed it, and soon she was matching my slow pace. My index finger grazed the bottom of her chin and I tilted my head to the side, deepening the kiss. When she placed her hand on the back on my neck, I pulled away. Why didn't I ever allow myself time to think?
Camila looked at me, confused, but soon detected that I was conflicted. She didn't waste a moment more before she pulled me back, rekindling the heat.
-
I groaned. I wasn't ever going to get over her; why was I even trying to?
My head fell back against the pillow as I stared up at the ceiling, a huff pushing through my lips. I couldn't even control myself anymore. Those rules I set when I was fifteen were diminishing before my eyes-those rules I set to protect myself.
I furrowed my eyebrows, having trouble believing that I was actually in this situation. I turned my head to look at the clock that read 6:37 A.M. and wondered when Camila would wake up.
I just needed to get on with my day. I couldn't be thinking about this whole situation while I was working, especially since I almost blew it yesterday with my little outburst. Carefully, I slid out of the bed, making sure not to wake the small brunette beside me, and threw on my shirt, putting my underwear back on before I reached the door.
I stole a small glance of her before I left, tip-toeing my way to my room as if I was going to get caught. As soon as I walked in, I entered my bathroom and started the shower, waiting for the water to warm. I needed to get the scent of her off me.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my eyes focusing in on the dark and extremely noticeable hickeys that were now present on my neck. Great, I thought. Just what I need.
I stepped into the shower, the steamy water running down my skin and erasing Camila from me. It was cleaning every sensual touch she left me; every gentle kiss I remembered from last night washing away.
I reached for the body wash, lathering myself in it. What was I supposed to do? I didn't want to be Camila's mistress, but I didn't really have another choice. We couldn't be just friends and I couldn't live my life without her-not when she had built me up to be the woman I am today. She was too important to me; too necessary.
My skin was rubbed raw as I tried to get the helpless feeling off of me. I loved her but I hated this. I wasn't this person.
The worst part was that I couldn't even talk to anyone here about it. I couldn't just walk up to Normani or Dinah or Ally and ask them for advice, because none of them really knew just how stupid Camila and I were.
An option I hadn't considered all that much was telling her how I felt-telling her I was in love with her. I felt nauseous just thinking about it. It was too risky. What if I sounded desperate? What if she didn't love me anymore? What if I really was just there to complete her perfect life with Adam?
My head was pounding as these questions bombarded me, demanding answers that I didn't have. I tried to relax, to just enjoy my hot shower, but that seemed like an impossible task.
Quickly, I finished up, getting out of the small space as soon as I could. I couldn't think in there. I couldn't think anywhere.
-
Once I was dressed, I frantically got onto my laptop, knowing there must've been tons of emails addressed to me from Richard. There was no doubt that I was slacking on keeping him updated, which he wasn't used to. Maybe next time I shouldn't bring the girl I'm sleeping with along with me for the business trip.
As I composed a new email, I heard a knock at my door. I glanced at the clock, seeing it was almost eight A.M., and got up to answer it. Looking through the peephole, I saw it was Camila. I paused, bracing myself. I could do this. I've been doing this.
I turned the doorknob, noticing she was clothed in the pajamas she wore last night when she stood in front of me. She must have just woken up. How was it possible for someone to look that beautiful in the morning?
"Good morning," She gave me a tired smile.
"Morning." I murmured.
Camila reached her arm toward me, brushing the pad of her thumb over my furrowed brow. "You look tense. Something wrong?"
"No," I dismissed the concern, "Just thinking."
"Oh," She grinned, leaning up to kiss me.
I took a deep breath through my nose when her lips touched mine. It was like every kiss set me on fire. Her gentle hands cupped my face before she released a, "mmm," into the air.
My eyes opened when I heard footsteps, watching as an older woman walked by, her eyebrows raised in judgment.
I hurriedly pulled Camila inside of my room, closing the door behind her. "We need to be more careful."
"Is that why you left my bed this morning?"
I instantly met her eyes, studying her. She looked upset and I didn't understand why. "Did you expect me to stay? I mean... I thought we were just hooking up."
She nodded, "Y-yeah, of course. No, I didn't want you to stay." Ouch. "And we're like hours away from everyone we know. I think we're fine." A small smirk graced her lips as she began to undress.
"What are you doing?" I whispered, as if someone was going to catch us.
"Taking a shower."
I turned my head away, avoiding her bare body, "In here?"
She just chuckled, "Yes." I saw her bra fly to the floor and I bit my lip. Control yourself. "Unless that's a problem?"
"Nope!" I practically yelled. "Not at all."
Camila didn't bother to reply before she trotted off to the bathroom, allowing me to breathe properly again at the sound of the door closing.
My phone rang at the same time Camila turned on the shower and I rubbed at my temples, trying not to think about the fact that she was in my shower.
The first time I tried to speak, nothing came out. I cleared my throat, "H-hello?"
"Lauren?"
I winced at the harsh voice. It was Richard. "Hey, Rich-"
"I don't want to hear it. Where have you been? I was trying to contact you all night and now I'm hearing that you're staying the extra day? I wish you would have told me because I would have arranged for you to stay another day, but now you have nowhere to go and you'll have to drive back through the night. How are you supposed to be present during the conference calls I've set for you? Do you expect to be asleep during the meetings?" He cursed, obviously frustrated. "Tell me, Lauren: what were you doing last night that was so important that you couldn't take one second to talk to your boss?"
I faltered, stumbling with my words. "The client... She wanted to take another day, so I-we, Camila and I... we went back to the hotel and-it was kind of late, so... I just lost track of-"
Richard sighed, "Enough. You know, I thought I was making the right decision by choosing you to send to Portland. I don't want someone who doesn't want it for themselves."
"I do want this, sir. Believe me, I do. And I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"Very well," He said, "I expect you'll be back at work tomorrow morning."
I gulped. Looks like we're not getting any sleep tonight. "Yes, sir."
"I want you to be there by seven." He paused, "And bring Ms. Cabello."
That was two hours before work even started, and I had to drive six hours back tonight. "...Yes, sir."
"Fix the problem today. And for God's sake, keep me updated." And the line went dead.
I tossed my phone down on the desk before I took a seat, my fingers pressing into my temples to try to ease the pain. I hadn't even thought about Portland since I got back. What if he told me to go again? What would I tell Camila? What if she wanted me to stay? What if I had to turn down that offer?
I groaned. This was too much to think about.
It felt like hours before Camila finished her shower, finally coming out of the bathroom in a white towel. "Who was that?" She asked, drying her hair.
"That was Richard. Apparently, he was trying to get ahold of me last night when I was... unavailable... and now he wants us the drive back tonight and be at work tomorrow by seven."
The scantily clad girl stopped her motions, staring at me. "What?"
"Yeah, I know. He's going to want an explanation. I can't exactly tell him the truth."
Camila must have seen the worry etched on my face because she was trying to reassure me now, saying things like, "Don't stress about it," and "We'll figure something out." When I met her gaze, still unsure, she walked toward me and climbed into my lap, my arms instinctively wrapping around her. "Hey," She said, getting my attention. "We needed that time together last night. It felt like us again." I softly nodded, calming down a bit. "Plus, you're like the golden child. He won't stay mad forever." She whispered, brushing some hair out of my face. "No one can stay mad at you."
Suddenly, the thought of telling Camila I loved her crossed my mind. This was such a perfect moment. She was in my lap, comforting me, and looking absolutely beautiful, but I kept thinking about rejection. She could see I wanted to say something because she didn't interrupt, waiting for me to speak, but I couldn't tell her. "I liked last night." Camila softly smiled. "And I shouldn't have left you alone in your bed."
"It's okay-"
"No," I interrupted, "It's not. And I knew that when I was leaving. I just-" I sighed, trying to explain my chaotic thoughts, "I get myself so worked up around you and I can barely think or even breathe and I don't know what we've gotten ourselves into but we can't seem to get ourselves out of it and-"
"Lauren-" She tried to stop me.
"I told myself I would never do this again." I finally said. Camila moved back a little, swallowing hard. "I keep going against everything I thought was right. I keep making these rules for myself and then I keep breaking them, as if they meant nothing in the first place."
"I can't stay away from you, Lauren."
"Then leave him," Camila looked down, shutting her eyes momentarily. "Why won't you leave him?"
"Because he would never leave me." I scoffed at her reply and she attempted to defend it. "He wouldn't. But you would."
"I didn't leave you."
The brunette shook her head in objection, "You ended us. And then you left with that girl!"
"I didn't leave with her!" I shot back, but she remained untroubled.
"Whatever, Lauren. It's over, right? You got out. That's what you wanted."
"I wanted you."
"And I wanted you. But we both know how that turned out." She got up, walking over to my suitcase to find something to wear. "I have the safety net and you have the... freedom to do what you want. And at the end of the day, we both still belong to each other."
I couldn't believe my Camila was saying this. My Camila-the one who believed in everything opposite of this. "Is that really what you want?"
"No," She said simply, looking up from my suitcase. "But what other choice do we have?" I remained silent. "I mean, do you think we could have an actual future together?"
"I don't know." I murmured.
"Right. We've already done this before-we've been through this." She grabbed a dress, walking up to me. "I'm wearing this." Camila spoke, a hint of disinterest toward the topic in her tone. She gave me a peck on the lips before she returned to her room, leaving me alone to think about what was left of us... If there even was anything left of us.
-
The meeting with the client went a hell of a lot better than yesterday, considering Camila and I were both in better moods. Every hour, I sent small email updates to Richard, making sure not to get myself in more trouble.
It never felt like work with Camila and the day was over before we knew it. Around eight, we packed up and got on the road again. It wasn't until nine that we actually got out of the traffic.
"Adam's going to be so mad,"
I glanced at her, "Why?"
Camila pointed to the time, "We aren't going to be back home until around three."
"I'm sorry," I frowned. "I should have been doing my job. It's my fault we're in this mess anyway. I probably shouldn't have taken you."
"No, no. It was fun."
A laugh escaped my lips at the statement, "Yeah right."
"It was." She insisted, "I'm glad you invited me."
"All we did was work and argue."
She held my free hand in her own, "I'm grateful for every moment I spend with you."
I tried my hardest not to blush. "Well, I'm glad you came."
"Oh, I did. Many times."
My eyes widened and I turned to see her smirking. "Camila!"
She giggled at her inappropriate joke and I soon joined in, enjoying her company.
-
When we finally arrived back in New York, the mood had changed. The air was heavy around us, the reminder of our infidelity weighing in. It was easier to pretend we weren't doing anything wrong when we were by ourselves, but that was a different story when her fiancé was just a few minutes away.
"Can we stop at the loft?" Camila asked, breaking the silence. This took me a little by surprise. I would have thought she didn't want Adam to have to wait any longer.
"Why?"
"I don't want to go home yet."
I hesitated, eventually deciding against it. "I don't think that's a good idea. Adam is probably already really mad that we're getting in this late, don't you think?"
She scoffed, shifting in her seat to be further away from me. "I can't visit my own home?"
"I never asked you to move out."
The girl next to me let out a bitter, sarcastic laugh and I could feel her glaring at me. "Well, you didn't give me much of a choice."
Here we go again. "Can we go, like, five minutes without you bringing that up?" I growled, annoyed. It felt like we weren't ever going to escape that night.
"...I'm sorry."
"It's fine." I replied sharply, driving straight to Adam's. If we stayed the night together, all we were going to do was fight about something I never even did. I didn't have enough energy for that.
As soon as I parked outside of his home, we noticed all of the lights were turned on, as if he'd been waiting all night for us to arrive. It suddenly occurred to me that I was going home without her to suffer through another sleepless night.
Camila frowned, her big brown eyes drenched in sadness. "I want to kiss you, but I think he's watching."
"You've just described my whole life," I said, holding her hands in my own. My eyes looked past her to see Adam running outside, his grey robe fluttering in the wind. Camila noticed my gaze and turned to look, too, snatching her hands away from me when she saw him. She immediately got out of the car and I watched as Adam began to yell at her, pointing in her face.
I tried to control my anger-to leave it as their business-but I absolutely couldn't watch this. "Hey!" I yelled, slamming my car door shut. "Don't talk to her like that."
The man slowly moved to address me, "This isn't any of your business. Last time I checked, she was my fiancé."
I clenched my jaw. His fiancé. I hated those words. I started toward them, an intimidated Adam moving back a little when I got closer. When I reached them, Camila was staring at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. "You keep talking to her like that and I hear about it, I'm coming for you."
Adam laughed wholeheartedly. "Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do?"
"Aw, have you forgotten how much of a slut you think I am?" I questioned, smirking at his confused expression. "Let's talk about my contacts, yeah? Exactly how many guys do you think I've slept with?"
"An innumerable amount."
"Okay, and exactly how many of them do you think could severely injure you with their bare hands?" He crossed his arms, uncomfortable. "Forget the men. What about me? What do you think I'm capable of with my bare hands?" Adam didn't answer, so I continued. "I think you'll find out if you keep treating her this way."
"Is that a threat?"
I sincerely smiled. "Just a warning, that's all." My eyes moved to his feet. "Nice slippers, by the way."
"They're comfortable." He insecurely mumbled.
I snickered, turning away to walk back to my car, when I heard him say: "Well, at least I'm not just a phase."
Camila silently scolded him, but I just kept walking. I needed to appear strong-unbroken.
But every step away from her felt like a dagger through my heart.
-