One and Only

Part 24

One and Only - Chapter Twenty-Four
Lauren's POV
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Standing outside of my building, I took a deep breath as I tried to gather up the strength to walk inside. I had been preparing myself for this day the whole week I was gone. I was supposed to walk in there and be confident and carefree and the exact opposite of what I was right now. Turns out that it's much more difficult to act like you don't care when your ex-girlfriend is just two minutes away from you. All of a sudden, my many rehearsals in the mirror were pointless. I couldn't even believe I was nervous. I was Lauren Jauregui, for fucks sake. I was gonna go in there and let everyone see just how well I was doing. ...Well, just how well I wanted them to think I was doing.
The first step was actually entering the building. I can do this. I've done this so many times before. I can do this. I counted to three and opened the door, walking inside to head toward to elevators. Not too bad. Once the elevator doors shut, I could breathe a sigh of relief. The breath was held in, though, when a rough looking hand appeared in between the doors, making them open up again.
"Lo?" Mark emerged into the elevator, his eyes wide. "Where the fuck have you been?"
It then occurred to me that relief wasn't something I'd be experiencing today. "Hi, Mark. How are you?"
"Cut the shit." He scoffed. "You left for a week. Where to?"
"Portland." I whispered.
"You went to Portland?" He almost screamed. I shushed him even though we were in an elevator. Richard wanted the whole thing to be under wraps, and frankly, so did I. "You couldn't tell me that you were taking a fucking job opportunity? I thought you were out getting STDs and becoming an alcoholic."
I snorted, "Sorry to disappoint."
Our conversation was cut short when the elevator door opened, my entrance to the office a footstep away. Although I was only gone for a week, it felt like I hadn't been there in forever. Mark gave me a small push and I chastised him, the small disturbance earning us the eyes of the office.
"Guess who's back?" Mark sang obnoxiously.
There was a beat of silence before multiple people started greeting me all at once. I plastered on a smile through the handshakes and the hugs, my anxiety increasing by the second. I hadn't looked over to where Camila was once and I was scared to. What was going to happen? She obviously thought I slept with someone else, so I was guessing she was a little mad. Thinking about the situation only made my anger worse. This was good. Anger was good. It certainly beat being sad. I held onto that as I pushed my way out of the sea of coworkers surrounding me, my eyes finding Camila's.
She looked good-great, actually. She was wearing a fitted navy-blue dress, something that Adam probably picked out for her. We held eye contact until I sat down at my desk, crossing my legs and refusing to speak first.
When the commotion died down and everyone returned to their jobs, she spoke. "Are we going to talk about that night?"
I tried not to show any signs of surprise, but I was a little taken aback. I was gone for a week without any explanation and the first thing she was going to ask about was that night? I cleared my throat, trying to seem unfazed. I was still angry and I didn't want her to have the satisfaction of knowing that. I knew she was miserable with Adam right now and to be honest, I felt like she deserved it. "My night out was great. I was a little confused when you left the club, but Adam managed to clear that all up for me at the loft. What a great guy." I smiled sweetly and I saw fury flicker in her eyes. Good.
"He and I managed to work things out." She was developing a 'two-can-play-at-this-game' attitude and I was grateful she was going to make it so easy for me to stay furious.
"Good. I always knew he could give you everything I couldn't."
She sank back into her chair a little after that, backing off. A frown was present on her otherwise flawless face and I could feel my rage subsiding. I was about to break down before Ally, Normani, and Dinah approached us.
"You dyed your hair!" Normani exclaimed, referring to my now black tresses. It was the first thing I did when I got to Portland.
"I needed a change."
"You look hot." Dinah smirked, "Don't you think so, Mila?" She winked at her, getting a death glare in return. "So, did you chicks make up yet?" The taller girl asked, smiling hopefully.
Camila's eyes remained staring into mine. "We broke up. That hasn't changed."
"Camila here is dating Adam again." I revealed, not ready to let go of infuriating feelings I had. Our friends gasped and I felt Ally rest her hand on my shoulder supportively.
The younger girl scowled at me. "Thanks for that announcement, Lauren, but actually, we're not dating." She paused, "Our engagement is back on."
I had to stop myself from shrugging. Like I didn't expect that. I was sure Adam proposed on the way home from the club. "You both deserve each other. Aren't they cute together, girls?" The three women near us laughed nervously, eyes shifting between the two of us.
"I'm still counting on you to be my maid of honor, Lauren. Good thing almost everyone there at the wedding will be married themselves. There will be no one there for you to fuck and confuse." She spit out.
I took another deep breath. I didn't think I could play that one off. My attention redirected itself to Normani, her hand over her mouth in shock. I stood up, the situation seemingly going to end on a bad note. "I'm honored to be a part of it. Excuse me."
I could hear the girls scolding Camila as I walked away, but I soon heard her footsteps behind me. It wasn't long before I was shoved into an empty conference room, my ex-girlfriend livid. "What the fuck is this?"
"What the fuck is what?" I asked, nonchalant.
"You're gone for days after what happened with no explanation and now you just show up, looking happy as ever?"
Happy? Maybe I was doing a good job at playing everything off. "I don't need to explain anything to you. You have your whole story, don't you?"
"Adam said you couldn't even speak when you saw him but judging from this, I think you were just fine. What, are you glad to get rid of me? Bet you fucked that girl from the club real good, huh?" Camila knew she was getting to me, her eyes lighting up when she noticed that I was suppressing my rage. "I can't fucking believe you left me there. I tried so hard to look pretty for you and it was all a waste. I'm sure you got your fill with whoever she was."
"And I'm sure you got your fill with Adam." I replied bitterly. I didn't deserve this, but I couldn't stop myself from watching as she dug herself into a deeper hole. I couldn't bear to interrupt-not to mention the sheer embarrassment it would cause me if she knew what really happened that night.
"At least he doesn't leave me to have sex with other girls."
I laughed, the statement more than amusing. "Maybe if he wasn't so horrible in bed, he would." I stepped closer to her, studying her face that I couldn't help but miss while I was gone. "How's that going for you, anyway? Has he got the clipboard out again? Making up for lost time?"
"Shut up," Camila breathed, her voice shaky.
My hand moved up to stroke her cheek. "Does he know where to kiss you like I do? Does he know where to touch you?" She shut her eyes, trying to control herself, but I was in too deep. I couldn't stop if I tried. "How does it feel, Camila? What's it like not being able to reach that high you get with me anymore? Don't you crave it?" I paused. "Don't you crave me?"
Her chocolate brown eyes opened to meet mine, her pupils blown. She swallowed hard, the response making me realize the huge mistake I was making. I looked her up and down, noticing the way her chest was heaving when I'd barely touched her at all. I reluctantly turned away, beginning my walk toward the door. All I had to do was open it and I'd be fine-I could control myself. I was so close-
"Wait."
The one word that left her mouth stopped me in my tracks as if she owned me. My head began to throb when I realized that she might. I slowly turned on my heels, facing her.
Camila walked up to me, her face hard, and wasted no time in connecting our lips. I stumbled slightly backward at the force from her body colliding with mine, but recovered quickly when my back hit a wall. Her delicate hands were tangled in my black locks, her shiny pink lips molding with mine. She had caught me off guard and she knew it; I could feel it in the way she was holding on to me, like dominance was the only thing she needed.
I finally caught up with the moment and soon my once hesitant hands were pulling her into me as if she was essential to my breathing. I didn't realize just how much I missed her when I was gone. I'd never experienced something like that before: wanting someone so much that you feel like you'd die without them.
Camila wasn't showing any signs of slowing down and I knew that if we were really going to do this at work, we'd have to be quick. I picked her up, walking us over to the glass conference table, and sat her down, shoving her smooth tan legs open so that I could stand in between them. A small gasp fell out of her mouth at my forcefulness and she drew me in closer, her wandering mouth finding its way down my jaw and onto my neck. I sighed at the sensation, the way every kiss she planted was so deliberate-so specific to me.
"This is wrong," I blurted out. My eyes widened at the sudden outburst from my own mouth, but it didn't lessen Camila's drive. Flashes of Adam appeared in my thoughts and I was becoming increasingly guilty. I didn't do this-not anymore. Not since James. I reluctantly pulled back a little, her lips following me. "Camila, this is so wrong."
I heard her huff before her eyes met mine and I could've sworn I felt my knees weaken. She moved to join our lips again, probably to shut me up. It worked. Her hands linked together behind my neck and I felt myself being pulled on top of her as she laid on her back.
Our pace slowed down a bit which usually I would enjoy. It's just that this wasn't a usual situation. I was pretty sure someone could walk in any moment and I wanted to do this before my reasoning and guilt caught up with me for good. I deepened our kiss, Camila breathing in through her nose to try to increase the small amount of oxygen she had left, and my hand trailed down to slip past her waistband. My fingers met her slick center and I was a little bit turned on knowing just how wet she got from only kissing me. It was when I entered her that my own eyes rolled in the back of my head. The sound of her moaning from my touch was something I'd never get used to and yet I wanted to hear it for the rest of my life, whether it was muffled by my mouth or not. I cupped her covered breast with my free hand, kneading it carefully, while our kissing became more erratic.
At a certain curl of the fingers, she disconnected our lips, biting her own to silence a moan that was threatening to escape. Her brown eyes were ablaze as she stared up at me, the look of lust coming from her almost blinding. She was pinning her bottom lip down with her teeth so hard due to the steady pumping of my fingers that I thought she was going to draw blood. I watched her struggle to keep her eyes open when my palm repeatedly hit her sensitive pearl, but Camila was determined to keep her eyes on me, our gazes locked as she stared up at me, unabashedly.
I quickened my pace, her mouth opening in a silent scream, and I found myself wishing we had more time together-wishing we were in our own bed. It didn't exactly feel right to add Camila to the category of the quick fucks I've had during office hours. She was more than that. She was the woman I loved.
But it wasn't just the location that didn't feel right-it was everything. It was that she was engaged and it was that she believed I had betrayed her in some way. I tried to push it out of my mind-that reoccurring thought that she was just using me for pleasure-but it kept forcing its way back into my thoughts. Camila got to go home to Adam, someone who loved her, and I, once again, had no one.
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of these thoughts. This wasn't exactly the best time to get sidetracked.
"Lauren," She breathed, a hand flying up to cover the sounds escaping her mouth.
I refocused on the girl beneath me, feeling her walls begin to tighten around my digit. She was looking at me in a way that I couldn't quite place and immediately the thought of her not loving me anymore flashed through my mind.
Before I could consider the notion, Camila came undone, a low throaty groan filling the air. She dragged out the high as long as she could, finally relaxing her body against the hard glass when it came to an end. I watched as she tried to catch her breath, a smile creeping onto my face despite the many doubts that had just presented themselves to me. I planted a lingering kiss on her lips because I just couldn't help myself and propped the upper half of my body up on my forearms, attempting to get off of her. Camila giggled at me, her arms reaching up to take hold of my collar, and pulled me back down onto her.
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"Where were you?"
The hands that were fixing my hair stilled, my eyes wandering to look at Camila's reflection in the mirror in front of us. "What?"
"Where were you?" Camila repeated, her voice softer than before. "I was worried. I started to think you weren't coming back." I stared at my hands, not knowing how to respond. I didn't want her knowing that I was in Portland; that I left because I was too 'sad' to deal with the fact that I lost her. I still had my pride, and I wasn't going to let that go. "Were you with her?" She asked.
"Camila-"
"Just-" She huffed, her eyebrows furrowing in distress. "tell me."
I frowned, looking away. "I've got a lot of work to do."
"Oh, you've got a lot of work to do?" She mocked me, grimacing. "Is this how it's going to be? All secretive?"
"Well, you're fucking me in secret now, so I guess we can add 'where I was' to the list, don't you think?" I snapped.
Camila looked at me in disbelief, and I had to admit that I was a bit stunned by my hostility, too. I held my tongue as I watched her leave the room without another word and began to wonder what the fuck we had just done.
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