One and Only

Part 33

One and Only - Chapter Thirty-Three
Lauren's POV
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"She's fine," Normani groaned, annoyed with me. I was following her around as she moved about the office, trying to get everything settled in before the work day was over.
I hadn't been able to really talk to the girls all day about Camila on account of my busy schedule, so now I was compensating for it by focusing on asking Normani over and over. "Are you sure? Because sometimes she says she's fine, but then she has this look on her face or she bites her lip or messes with her hair-"
"Lauren." She stopped, turning around to face me. "I go over there every night and then come back every morning and tell you what happened. I've told you like ten times today."
"Tell me again."
Normani let out a loud sound of frustration. "I need a drink. I shouldn't have gotten pregnant."
"Please, Mani." I pouted, "I haven't talked to or seen her in four days."
She eventually gave in, "Okay, but this is the last time today. Deal?" I agreed, trying to listen for any details that I'd missed before-anything that seemed worrisome-and we sat down in the seats nearest to us. "So, last night we got to her room after seven. She invited us in and-"
"What did she look like?"
"Lauren, you remember what her face looks like. It's been four days."
"Oh, right."
Normani gave me an irritated look, continuing. "She invited us in and I sat on her bed with Ally and Dinah. Camila sat on the chair. We talked to her about what was happening at work and with our families. We ate dinner with her. That's really all that happened."
"But how is she? Does she seem happy? Do you think she'll let me see her soon?"
"I don't know, Lauren. Although...," I straightened up, watching as Normani thought about something, "she wasn't as talkative as usual." My face fell and Normani noticed. "That can be a good thing, Lauren. Maybe she's decided that she wants to see you and she's worried about it."
"Or it could be that she's decided our relationship isn't worth fixing and she's dreading telling me."
The girl reluctantly nodded. "It could very well be that, too."
I sighed, slumping in my seat. "I just want to talk to her and hear her voice." Why was she taking so long? I knew there was a lot to think about, but I'd already made my decision. I wanted to be with her no matter what we had to work through.
"Hello?"
I returned my attention to Normani who was holding her phone up on speaker. My eyes widened when I realized she had called Camila.
"Hey, Mila. Any ideas for dinner tonight?" Normani smiled at me.
"Hmm..." She pondered, "You guys pick. I'm not really hungry."
"You're not hungry?" Normani questioned, her forehead creasing in concern. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just..." She took a deep breath. "I'm nervous. How is Lauren?"
The girl sitting in front of me surveyed me, "She's obsessing over you." I gaped, kicking her shin, and Normani held in a grumble of pain. Her eyes were fierce as she said, "She keeps asking about you-how you're doing, how you look... She's been following me and the girls around for the past four days for information."
"I'm gonna kill you," I mouthed to her. Mani gave me a radiant smile, leaning back in her chair.
Camila paused before she said, "I miss her."
My heart ached. I just wanted to be with her. The older girl replied, "She misses you, too."
"Is she still at work?"
Normani sat back up, "Yeah, I-I'm sitting right by her. Do you want to talk to her?" I stopped breathing, waiting for her response. It felt like hours had passed. "Camila?"
"No." She said, "What's she doing?"
"She's on the phone," Normani smirked and I looked at her like she was insane. Was she trying to get me caught?
"Can you maybe..." Camila sighed, "Can you get her to say something? Not to me, of course, I just-" She hesitated, my heartbeat quickening. "I just want to hear her voice."
Normani looked at me, "Hey, Lauren. Sorry to interrupt you. I know you're so busy with that phone call," she joked, "but, tell me, how was your day?"
"Let's see... I accidentally spilled coffee on Ally this morning, I sat in the wrong meeting for like thirty minutes before I realized it, and I haven't seen Camila in four days... So, today was great."
"She sounds flustered," Camila said and I could tell she was probably amused.
"She's always flustered." Normani winked at me. "Anyway, most of the office has cleared out for the night, so I'm going to head home for a bit, and then I'll meet you at the hotel with the girls?" Wait, the conversation was ending? I wanted to yank that phone out of Normani's perfectly manicured hand.
"Is Lauren going to be there all by herself?" Camila asked, a hint of sadness in her tone.
"Yeah, she's working late with Adriana-" I held my hands palm-up in frustration, glaring at Normani who had let that slip. "-I mean, just for a little bit. Not that late." I huffed, Normani looking at me apologetically as we waited for Camila's reply.
"She works so hard," Camila said. Mani and I exchanged surprised looks. "I hope she doesn't have to work all night. She deserves some rest."
"Yeah," the girl agreed, patting my knee, "she does."
They said their goodbyes soon after that and Normani relaxed, shaking her head at me. "That was so stressful. I'm never doing that again."
Laughing, I stood up and took her hand, pulling her to her feet. "Yeah, sure. You know we'll be doing the same thing tomorrow."
"Nuh-uh. Camila better hurry this thing up because I am not about to age twenty years from these forming worry lines." She tried to point them out, a frown etched onto her face. "Anyway, I've got to get home. Sorry I can't stay a little later to help out with the work instead of Adriana."
"That's okay," I reassured her. "I'll walk you to your car."
-
"Lauren, we've been at this Portland thing for almost seven hours." Adriana whined, tossing her pen down on the table. "Can't we just pick this up tomorrow night?"
"There has to be something we can do to fix this problem," I spoke, amazed at how I hadn't come up with anything. "Can you read me the email again?"
"Why am I here? I'm Mr. Clarke's assistant, not yours."
I looked up from my work, noticing the way Adriana was trying to soothe a headache by rubbing at her temples. "Okay," I agreed, watching her eyes light up. "I'm sorry. I get a little carried away sometimes."
"I see that. What's bothering you, anyway?"
"What?" I asked, not following.
"There's no way you're working this hard just to please Mr. Clarke. Seems to me like you're just focusing on this to get your mind off of something else."
Was I being that obvious? Jesus, Lauren, get it together. "Maybe we should call it a night."
She shot up out of her chair, swinging her purse over her shoulder. "Normally, I would have kept asking questions until you finally told me what was wrong, while secretly seducing you at the same time, but I've got plans tonight and, at the rate we're going, we'd be here for hours before anything even happened."
I tilted my head, nodding slowly. "Well, thanks for being truthful."
"Hey," she smiled, shrugging on her coat, "you should come with me. Mark will be there... and about six other people you've slept with before."
"Sounds fun, but I think I'll just go home."
"Okay." She said, "But Lauren, don't stay here all night." I grinned in response and watched as she ambled out of the room before glancing over all of the stuff I had left to do.
It was unlike me to be excited over an excess workload, but with all of the stuff going on with Camila lately, it was the only thing I had to distract me.
Staying another ten minutes wouldn't hurt. But then those ten minutes turned into thirty which turned into sixty and before I knew it, it was half an hour after midnight.
Remembering that I couldn't actually stay here all night, I started to gather my things and dragged myself to my car. I looked at my reflection in the rearview mirror, thinking about going home alone tonight.
I thought I would be used to it by now. Camila hadn't lived with me for quite awhile, so why did it still hurt knowing she wasn't asleep in our bed right now? I should be used to it. I should be used to being alone. But I wasn't. And I didn't know if I'd ever be.
-
The moment I walked into the loft, I kicked off my heels. It had been a long day and this was the moment I was dreading most. It didn't feel right walking into this place without Camila. It didn't feel like home.
I took a deep breath and walked to the kitchen, propping myself up on the counter and facing the island that Camila and I used to eat breakfast over... amongst other things.
Turning to my right, a bottle of red wine was calling my name. I screwed the top off and poured myself a glass, sipping on it and trying to forget today even happened. I clutched it to my chest, wondering if I should go back to the office. At least there I had something to keep me occupied. I was alone in this big loft with nothing to do.
Just as my lips touched the tip of the glass, my phone rang. I furrowed my eyebrows. It was almost one in the morning. Who the hell was calling me this late? I reached for it, praying that it wasn't Mark. It wouldn't be the first time he called me this late, drunk out of his mind.
My heart stopped when I saw Camila's name and I almost dropped my glass. What if something was wrong? "Hello?" I answered it instantly.
"Hey."
I smiled, the relaxed tone of her voice calming me, and leaned back, resting against the wall. "Hey,"
"Sorry it's late."
"It is late." I agreed, jokingly asking, "Is this some sort of bootycall?" My face got hot when she didn't respond. "That was a joke."
I heard a sigh of relief followed by a small laugh. "Did I wake you?"
"I wish, but no. I probably won't be getting any sleep tonight anyway." I paused. "Why are you awake?"
"I'm bored."
"Is that why you're calling me? So that I can come entertain you?"
"No, I just wanted to hear your voice."
I grinned to myself, remembering her phone call with Normani. "Now that you've heard it, do you want me to come over?" I asked, hopeful.
"Lauren..."
"Oh, come on. You know I'm too fun to be bored around."
"I don't know..." She unsurely replied.
"What, you really can't control yourself around me?" I quipped.
Camila snorted, "Oh, I definitely can control myself. I'm worried about you."
"About me?" I spoke, enjoying the playful feel of our conversation. "Don't flatter yourself, Cabello. I've seen you when you're tired and, let me tell you, it isn't exactly the best sight." She gasped and I let out a chuckle, "I'm kidding."
"Now you really can't come over."
"There was a chance?" I sat up a little.
"Not anymore."
Smiling softly, I took another sip of my wine. "Then I guess you should try to get some rest. You know, if you aren't expecting me over anymore."
"Oh-" She faltered, "Um, yeah. Okay. I'll just-okay, bye."
"Bye, Camz." I quickly hung up and jumped off the counter, moving to open the cabinets. Scavenging to find her favorite snacks was an easy task, mostly because she hadn't been here to eat them.
There wasn't any time to change as I stuffed all of this into a couple of bags, determined to see her tonight. I grabbed a few more things before I stopped in front of a mirror on my way out, tousling my hair to appear presentable in public.
I refused to talk myself out of going. I'd spent seven years playing it safe and look where that got me. It was time to fight.
I practically sprinted to my car, throwing everything into the back. The Plaza was less than five minutes away and I'd been waiting to make this drive the moment she called me from that pay phone.
When I arrived, I immediately went to the front desk and was greeted by an older women in her early thirties. She gave me a sweet smile, looking around for my bags. "Can I help you?"
"Yes. I'm so sorry to bother you, but... my mother is staying here." I began, the idea just popping into my head. "She called me and I couldn't really understand her-you see, she's quite old and she's not making much sense lately-but I came to check up on her. Is there any way you can give me her room number? I've completely forgotten it."
The girl nodded frantically. "Yes, ma'am. Of course." I gave her Camila's name and tried not to squeal when she gave me a room card key "just in case".
Thanking her, I ran back out to my car and unloaded the bags of stuff, carrying them inside on both arms. The lobby was mostly empty considering the time, so I got to the elevator without much fuss. Although the soft elevator music filled the tight space, the sound of my heart beating was overpowering all of it. I was so nervous to see her.
My arms were tired by the time I got to her floor and I was surprised I didn't collapse. I stood outside of her room for a bit before I knocked with my foot, putting on a smile when I heard her footsteps.
"What are you doing here?" Camila asked, panicked. Her voice carried through the door.
"I wanted to see you."
"You can't just... show up like this!" She exclaimed.
"C'mon, Camila. This stuff is so heavy." I whined, looking at the peep hole.
"No. You can't come in. I'm not ready! I look like a mess."
"Fine," I spit out, rolling my eyes. I pretended to walk away until I was sure Camila was no longer at the door before I ran back, getting the key card out and letting myself in. I heard a gasp as I set down the bags and took off my coat, stretching my arms out. I turned around to see Camila hiding behind the curtains. "What are you doing?"
"You can't see me. I was going to get ready and everything!"
"Oh," I smirked, "so you were going to invite me over."
"Get out!" She screeched.
"Not until I see you."
Camila groaned, "How did you even get a key?"
"Have you been away too long to forget how good I am at getting what I want?" She scoffed, the sound muffled from behind the curtain, and I walked over to her. "Come out."
"No!" She said, clutching them tighter.
"Why not?"
"Because I haven't been sleeping and I'm not wearing makeup. My hair isn't done, I'm wearing these old pajamas... I look ugly."
"Uh, not possible." I disagreed, "Plus, I think we're past being embarrassed around each other. I've seen you naked, Camila-many times."
"Lauren!"
"Your snacks are getting cold." I told her, grinning when I heard her huff. She poked her head out from the curtain and met my eyes, a look of nervousness painting her features. I kissed her forehead, my hand resting on her cheek. "Hi."
"Hi."
"I missed you," I breathed, studying her, "so much."
"I missed you too," Camila murmured, seemingly uncomfortable under my stare. She moved her head away from my hand, taking note of my appearance. "You haven't changed out of your work clothes?"
"Well, I just got off."
She gaped, "Jesus, Lauren. It's 1 A.M. Doesn't Mr. Clarke let you sleep anymore?"
"He didn't ask me to stay that long. I just got carried away,"
"Normani said you and Adriana weren't working that late." She blushed, "Not that... Not that we were necessarily talking about you. It just... came up." I smirked again, her flustered state nothing short of adorable. "Where's the food?" She finally asked.
I ambled back over to the bags, pulling things out one by one. "Snacks." I pointed to them, "Assorted movies. Your favorite books," I held one up, modeling it with my hand, "And last but not least," I pulled the fabric out, "your favorite t-shirt."
Camila walked to me, "Where did you find that?" She questioned, taking it. "I've been looking for it everywhere."
"You left it in one of my drawers."
The brunette smiled at me. "Thank you, Laur."
"You're welcome." I shifted uncomfortably at the silence, looking around briefly before I gazed back at her. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it." Camila's eyes widened. "Sorry for barging in earlier, but I didn't want you to be bored when I had this stuff laying around our loft." Shrugging on my coat and reaching for my purse, the other girl stopped me.
"Wait." She hesitated. "Stay."
I gulped, trying to remain unfazed. "You want me to stay?"
Camila nodded. "Please? Stay with me."
"I don't know... I'm pretty busy." I hummed, feigning indecision. "I guess I'll stay."
She giggled, "As long as you can bear my hideous appearance."
I frowned, shaking my head. "There's nothing hideous about you."
She didn't reply, instead sifting through the things I brought her. I didn't understand how she thought she looked unsightly in any way. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she had smeared eye makeup on that she never got around to taking off completely. The slightly tattered pajama pants were ones she got in high school that she never threw away and she was wearing a t-shirt that represented the college we attended. Her eyes had dark circles under them, her nail polish was chipped, she had glasses resting on the top of her head, and she was still the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.
"Lauren?"
"Hmm?" I snapped out of my trance, focusing on her.
"I said, 'what about this one?'" She held up one of the DVDs and waited for my opinion. When I nodded in approval, she popped it in her laptop and moved to the bed, giving me a tired smile when she realized I hadn't moved. "Are you going to watch it from there?" She joked.
I walked toward the bed, taking a seat on the very edge of it. Last time we watched a movie together in her hotel room, it ended with her naked body underneath me and I needed to try to prevent that from happening as much as I could tonight. I wanted to make sure I respected her decision to take the time she needed and I wasn't going to complicate things further by having sex with her.
"I'm so glad you're here," Camila said. I blushed, stretching my legs out to give myself time to remind myself that we weren't together right now. Resting my head back on the headboard, I looked at her.
"I'm glad I'm here, too." I replied honestly. And I was. But that didn't make me any less nervous.
-
Halfway through the movie, I felt her staring at me. "What?"
Her cheeks tinted pink in embarrassment, "N-nothing." She stuttered, "It's just... You look good."
My eyes crinkled in delight. "So do you."
"Oh, please." She rolled her eyes.
"You do!"
"Don't say that." Camila huffed, "You just worked for twelve hours and you look like some sort of supermodel. I've been resting all day and I look like this." She gestured to herself, frowning at me.
I frowned back at her. "Camila, no matter how unattractive you think you look, you're always going to be the most breathtaking person in the room. And it's not just your looks. It's you-as a whole. You're warm and you make people feel at ease. People love you, Camila, and I know you think I'm the one everyone loves but at least people still want to talk to you when your clothes are on." I shook my head slightly, letting out a light chuckle. "You are the person people spend their whole lives trying to find. I'm just a fill in and no one's going to want me twenty years down the line... but you? You'll always be loved. You're so beautiful and you don't even have to try."
She looked at me, taken aback, and clambered to her feet. "Would you excuse me for a second?"
I got up after her and watched her walk to the bathroom. "Wait, I-" Just as I got there, the door shut and not long after, I heard her turn the lock. "Camila, I didn't mean to say all of that. I got carried away. I'm sorry." My phone vibrated on the night stand. "Camila?" I sighed, resting my forehead against the door. When I didn't get a reply, I walked to my phone and picked it up, my eye catching the notepad it had been resting on.
It was a pros and cons list. I furrowed my eyebrows and picked it up, scanning over the writing.
Cons: 1. She's indecisive. 2. We have trouble communicating. 3. Trust issues. 4. We argue a lot. 5. We know how to hurt each other. 6. Our future is and probably always will be unclear. 7. I get insanely jealous with her. 8. She's not always open with me.
Pros: 1. She's not Adam. 2. The sex.
I gaped, unable to believe what I just read. I felt the unfamiliar feeling of rage bubble up inside me before I grabbed a pen.
Let's see what she thinks of my pros and cons list.
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