One and Only

Part 31

One and Only - Chapter Thirty-One
Lauren's POV
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"Impressive place of employment."
I looked to my side, my eyes meeting James, and smiled. "Not as impressive as yours."
"You mean your dad's," He chuckled, leaning against his black car. "You would have been great running that company with me. But you just had to run off to New York with Camila."
"Easiest decision I've ever made."
He smiled at my sureness, facing me. "All right, well, you have a good day at work. Stasia and I are heading back home tonight, so we've got to say our goodbyes now."
I frowned, a little upset he had to go, and enveloped him in a hug. "James?"
"Yes?"
I breathed in his cologne, "Find more reasons to come back here for 'business'."
He pulled back, smirking at me. "I will. Find more reasons to call."
"I'm sure your wife would love that," I joked.
The smirk remained on his lips as he kissed me on the forehead, his chauffeur opening the door for him. "Goodbye,"
I waved at him when the door shut, watching as they drove off. My mood decreased as I stared at my building, not ready to see Camila after the way we ended things.
But I decided to toughen up and, before I knew it, I was walking in the familiar office, being greeted by our secretary, Rachel, and being filled in on new executive plans by Richard.
When I finally got out of his office, I was pulled aside by Ally, the young mother giving me a knowing look. "Are you dating someone? A man, perhaps?" I quickly surveyed the room to see if anyone heard that, and turned both Ally and I around. "Oooh, a secret."
"I'm not dating anyone. Who thinks that?"
Ally giggled, "You weren't very discreet standing in front of the building. Half of the office saw you two. He's a little bit older, but no one's judging."
Half the office. I gulped, not bothering to continue the conversation, and walked to my seat, praying Camila wasn't a part of that half.
"Hi," She addressed me, her arms folded atop her desk as if she were waiting for me. "Where were you last night?"
I was taken aback by her question, considering the huge fallout we had yesterday. "Home," I answered simply.
"Really?" She quirked an eyebrow, "I went to a restaurant for dinner with Adam last night."
"Great. Just what I wanted to hear." I rolled my eyes at the mention of her fiancé.
She continued despite my sarcasm. "It's just off of fifth avenue-happens to be Adam's favorite place to eat."
I started to work on some of the paperwork Richard gave me, trying to look uninterested with what she was getting at. "Thanks for warning me. I'll make sure to steer clear of restaurants from around there."
"Funny you say that," She began. I held tightly to my pen in anticipation, "Because I saw a girl who looked exactly like you there last night. She was holding hands with this guy just before they ran out. The weird thing was that they headed directly for the exit right when the very familiar guy turned in my direction."
"That is weird," I noted, focusing on the work in front of me and trying not to seem suspicious. "Maybe they were in a hurry."
"She just looked so much like you. It couldn't have been you though, since I know you wouldn't lie to me."
I met her gaze. Bad idea, Lauren. "Of course I wouldn't." I whispered, watching as her eyes flickered in fury.
"Then why are you lying to me now?"
Clearing my throat, I set my pen down, trying to look innocent. "What makes you accuse me of something like that?"
"At first, I thought that it was just some girl who looked like you. But then, you got up with him-ran right out the door. I've seen the back of you a lot of times in my life, Lauren-not to mention the millions of times that I've checked out your ass before. You were there last night-with him. I know it."
I looked at my hands, "The booty has betrayed me."
Camila didn't entertain my attempt to lighten the mood, instead lowering her voice in a venomous way. "You were having dinner with James last night? What the fuck, Lauren?"
"We had drinks-"
She cut me off, "Did you let him spend the night with you, too?"
"No!" I shot back, unpleasantly surprised she would even suggest that.
"Stop lying to me."
"I'm not."
She grimaced, "Then why did he drop you off at work today? You two looked real cozy in that embrace. Hooking up with your favorite child predator again?" I glared at her, the nerve she had taken on astounding me. "And what the hell is he doing here just out of the blue? After seven years he just shows up?"
I bit my bottom lip, not wanting to keep anything from her. "I... um, I-I've seen him lots of times before that."
Camila narrowed her eyes at me, "What?" She spit out.
"I've contacted him for a long time without you knowing."
When she looked at me, I realized I hadn't ever actually seen her this angry. She was seething. "You are not allowed to do that. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I knew you would react this way."
She scoffed, "What other way am I supposed to react?"
"I don't know, Camila. Okay? I don't know! I don't know anything anymore. What do you want me to do? Pour all my secrets out to you after we have sex so that it makes you feel like we're still okay even though you know we aren't? You know what, you're just as bad as James-using me because your marriage is all fucked up... And you aren't even married yet! What the hell is this to you? Like I have to check in with you before I go have drinks with someone?" I clenched my jaw, trying to reign in my irritation.
"We're best friends, Lauren."
"Are we?" I bitterly laughed, looking at her like she was crazy. "You think we're friends? Friends don't do this, Camila. We aren't 'friends' anymore. You used me to cheat on Adam with and now you're trying to tell me what I can and cannot do? No." I told her, "You lost that right a long time ago."
"A long time ago? You mean when you broke up with me?"
"Yes!" I almost shouted, "When I broke up with you to save what was left of us. Oh, I'm so terrible, aren't I? The only thing worse than that would be if I were about to sign my life away with someone while still fucking my ex-girlfriend in empty conference rooms!"
"James is different."
"The only thing different is my age. Like it or not, he's the only family I have. I don't have a mom or a dad or grandparents or aunts and uncles and cousins like you do. I have him-he's the only person there for me, no matter what. More than you've been lately!" I paused, the anger building up. "You're worse than him, Camila. At least he said he loved me." Camila gaped and I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. She got up out of her seat and I knew I overstepped it when I had to jog up to catch her by the arm. "Camila, stop. I'm sorry."
Her eyes were watery, but they stared into mine without shame. "I tried to tell you, Lauren. You don't get to say those things to me when you already know in the back of your mind how I felt about you. You silenced me because you weren't ready to tell me how you feel." A tear fell and it took everything in me not to reach forward to wipe it from her cheek. "You're never ready," She breathed, "When will you be ready?"
"Camila-" I tried to apologize, a wretched feeling in my gut.
"Let go of me, Lauren." She jerked her arm in my grasp.
I did as I was told, watching as she walked off. Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
I took a deep breath to try to recompose myself before I noticed the whole office staring at me. I should've felt embarrassed-humiliated that they witnessed something so personal, but I masked it by giving them all sharp looks that they shied away from, returning to their work. I sat back in my seat, trying to forget what just happened, when Mark approached me, concerned.
"Lo?"
"What?" I said through my clenched teeth.
"I... Uh, that... looked pr-pretty intense." He stuttered, understanding how bad of a mood I was in.
"I don't want to talk about it," I told him, jotting something down on the paperwork in front of me.
He shifted his weight nervously, "You know, it's better to let stuff out. Maybe we should take a walk or something?"
I looked up at him from my seat wearing a tight-lipped smile and crossed my legs, leaning back to scrutinize him. "You know," I mocked, "I think I remember telling you that I didn't want to talk about it. Maybe you should mind your own business... or something?"
"I'm just trying to help-"
"Well, I don't need your help, Mark. I don't need anybody's help. So, why don't you just go sit back down," I pointed to his empty chair across the large room, "and pretend to do your work, just like everyone else?"
The man nodded, a grim expression on his face. "Suit yourself." He spoke before returning to his desk.
-
At lunch, the girls came over like nothing had happened. We ate together in the break room, and the three women made sure to keep the conversation going, ranging from talking about Ally's kids and Dinah and Normani's pregnancies to complaining about how ridiculous some of the clients' requests at work were.
I was relieved they didn't expect me to do anything but sit there, because I wasn't in the mood for small talk, and immensely grateful that they didn't ask me about Camila. I knew they were dying to hear about it, but they didn't ask, respecting my privacy, and I really appreciated that. So, when there happened to be a pause in the conversation, I opened my mouth to speak, earning everyone's attention. "Thank you guys," I started, looking down at the table, "I couldn't have gotten through the rest of the day without this."
They all gave me empathetic smiles and I felt Normani squeeze my hand before they got back to what they were discussing. As I looked at each of them, I realized just how much I really cared about them. There wasn't another group I would've rather been a part of and I was indebted to them for making such a dreadful day bearable.
For once, it just felt nice to have friends rather than followers.
-
When the day was over and Richard finally let me go home after a massive amount of after-hour meetings, I returned to my building. I noticed the door to my loft was left slightly open, like someone had been inside of my home.
An overwhelming sense of alert came over me as I walked through the entrance, skimming over the living room to see if anyone was still here. When nothing seemed to be out of place, I somewhat relaxed, setting my bag down and taking off my coat. Figuring I should look around to make sure I wasn't robbed, I crossed the floor to my bedroom, almost opening it when I heard movement from the room next to me. I froze. Was someone here?
Very slowly, I moved to stand in front of Camila's old room. My hand shook as I placed it on the door knob and turned it, and I peeked inside.
There Camila stood, back facing me, as she hovered over something atop her bed. I heard a zipping sound and I was relieved to know that I wasn't about to be murdered. "What are you doing here?"
She turned around at my voice, her eyes filled with tears, and studied me for a while before saying, "I'm getting the rest of my things."
"Right now?" I glanced at the time. It was around ten at night. "It's kind of late."
"I'm going to California, Lauren."
I felt all of the color drain from my face. "California? B-but... But I thought you weren't leaving until June..." I tried to think, my head pounding all of a sudden. "I thought we had more time."
"We leave tomorrow."
No. No. This was all wrong. She couldn't leave with Adam. She couldn't leave me. But I couldn't speak-couldn't move, too upset to process what was being said to me.
She frowned at my silence, picking up the bag off of the bed and carrying it with her and she walked out, not saying another word.
When the door slammed shut, I flinched. She was leaving. And not leaving as in moving twenty minutes away from me-it was thousands of miles. I knew if she started a new life there with him, I'd never see her again. I'd never hold her again or wake up next to her again. She wouldn't be my Camila anymore. She'd be his.
No. I repeated to myself. That wasn't happening. Not without a fight.
In one quick motion, I was out of my loft, my attention moving to the elevator that Camila had just gotten on, the doors closing in front of her. The thought of missing her kept replaying in my head. What if I'd waited too long?
I jolted for the staircase and braced myself to hasten down them while wearing these stupid heels. The first couple of steps were the hardest, but the knowledge that I was very quickly running out of time to get to her before she left for good was fueling me, and after a minute, I was in the lobby. I could see Camila just outside, waiting to cross the street, and I skidded out there, my heels making an unpleasantly shrill sound on the concrete. I called, "Camila, wait!" but she was already crossing the street toward Adam's car.
I ran a hand through my hair, my breathing rapid. She was really leaving. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, finally understanding the weight of the situation. "I'm in love with you."
She stopped and so did my lungs. There was a beat before she fully turned around, her eyebrows furrowed in obvious distress, "What did you just say?"
I walked toward her, hating the way she backed up a little to keep distance between us, and repeated, "I'm in love with you."
Camila just stared at me, her mouth slightly open in shock, and when the first tear rolled down her cheek, I knew didn't want to hold back anymore. I wanted to tell her everything-needed to tell her everything.
"I fell for you the moment I found you by those bleachers. All you did was tell me that you would pay attention to me and-just like that-I was yours." I shook my head at the memory, "You've always been the one for me, Camila. I couldn't fall for anyone else because I was already in love with you." My gaze fell to Adam's car and I noticed he was on his phone, completely oblivious to what was happening, "And I know I told you to find someone that deserves you and who can make you happy, but Adam isn't that person. He's never been that person and he won't ever be and I know that I can't promise the same things he can-I can't promise you your fairytale, but I love you. For fucks sake," I breathed, "I love you! And if this is the last thing I'm ever going to be able to say to you, I need you to know that." I swallowed hard, the ability to speak becoming more difficult, "I've put you through a lot-I know I have-and it was wrong of me to expect you to stay when I wasn't making you happy... I was selfish and stupid and I didn't want to believe that I had let myself become vulnerable to you. But no matter how hard I wish my feelings away, they're still here. I'm always going to love you." I paused, preparing myself for what was next. "But if... If you want to leave... with him..." I looked at the ground for a second, clenching my jaw to try to calm myself down, "If you want to marry him... then I understand." I met her unsettled eyes, giving a small shrug. "I know how long you've wanted this-a life... a family, so I won't try to stop you. I know what it's like to have something you want taken away from you." I said, "You used to always say I was going to fall for someone one day... Who would've known the someone was already you?"
Camila stared at me in incredulity. "You love me?" She whispered, barely wincing at the sound of a car door opening.
"Hurry up, Camila." Adam huffed, staring down at his phone. Her eyes remained on me, and when he didn't hear a response, he turned his attention on us, slowly realizing what had just happened. Storming over, he focused on his fiancé, making her look at him. "Get in the car. Now."
"Wait," I said quickly. "Camila."
She gave me one last look before she did as she was told, unsteadily making her way to his vehicle and placing herself in the passenger's seat.
I put up a front the second Adam turned to face me, noticing how he looked entirely pleased at the decision she made to be with him. "I always knew she'd pick me over you when it came down to it."
I forced a sweet smile, my hand moving to caress his cheek. "At least I can make her come."
His smirk immediately disappeared as it was replaced with a stunned look, and I moved my index finger to rest underneath his chin. "Aw, don't look so embarrassed. Maybe you'll get the hang of it one day. Keep your chin up." I lifted my finger forcefully, causing his head to jerk up as he stumbled backward, face red from mortification.
I didn't bother waiting for the street to clear before I walked across it, almost getting ran over in the process. I got to the other side with a few honks my way and turned around just in time to see Adam drive off with her.
I managed to make it back up to my loft and I thought I would be okay for the night. She made her decision and I did everything I could to convince her otherwise. This wasn't on me anymore. I thought I would be okay.
But the moment I closed the door behind me and looked around my home without Camila, the tears came-slow at first, and then all at once.
And I knew I wasn't going to be okay.
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