One and Only

Part 22

One and Only - Chapter Twenty-Two
Camila's POV
-
There was no denying I had just suffered through a sleepless night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her-the way she looked completely out of options last night, like I had truly worn her out.
After laying in bed debating whether or not to face the day, I decided to get up. There was no use in ignoring this. It wasn't just going to go away, no matter how much I wanted it to.
She was sitting at the table, a journal placed in front of her that she tirelessly scribbled in. The light was filtering in through the window in all the right ways, hitting her ivory skin and bouncing off of her dark hair. I took a second to take her in, to really remember this moment. It was the moment I knew I lost everything that ever mattered to me.
Taking a deep breath, I walked over to her, sitting across from her at the table. Lauren closed her journal at my presence, her eyes flitting up to look at me. "Good morning."
"Good morning," I whispered back.
A sigh escaped her lips, her eyes shutting temporarily before she began speaking. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. That has to be one of the only times in my life that I've lost my temper and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."
I nodded slowly. "I know you are." And then silence. "So," I said, cutting straight to what we were tiptoeing around. "You're serious about this? I mean, us not being together?"
I watched as her delicate hand moved to stir her coffee, her nails painted a deep red. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, Camz, but to take the risk of limiting our future... I won't have that on my conscious. I won't lose you-that's not an option-and that's what was going to happen if we didn't stop what we were doing. We were stupid... I was stupid."
"I guess it's been over for a while. I just didn't want to believe that it was." I admitted. "Are we best friends still?"
Lauren cracked a smile, taking a sip of her hot coffee before answering me. "Only if you want to be."
I returned the smile, her playful demeanor much more welcoming than the hostile one last night. "I'll think about it."
She stood, and from the look she was giving me, she expected me to do the same. I stood in front of her, the lump in my throat almost unbearable as she went in for a hug. Her arms wrapped around me securely and I held her back, savoring the moment. This was going to be harder than I ever could have imagined.
-
When we finally got to work, it was hectic. Everyone was running around, trying to get everything ready for some hotshot coming in to meet Lauren. I didn't get to sit down at my desk until half an hour passed since my arrival and when I finally did, a nervous looking Lauren was sitting across from me. I figured she was just anxious about the meeting, but then she said it.
"I'm going out tonight."
I blinked. I hadn't heard that right. There was no way she just said that to me. There was no way that "Lea" girl was right. She wasn't going out to replace me already. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I'm going out," she said, apprehensively, "to the club."
I tried not to miss a beat, to look like I was unaffected by what she just said. "I... um... okay."
"Look, I know it's soon, I just-" Lauren paused and I looked at her expectantly, waiting for an explanation. "Well, I think it'll be fun."
"Yeah," I said, with the strength I had left in me, "of course. Do what you want."
She nodded before getting up, walking off to that important meeting and leaving me in silence.
I couldn't work like this, knowing this information. I needed to find Dinah; she would know what to do. She would know how to get my Lauren back for me.
I searched high and low, neglecting the pile of work that was waiting for me on my desk. Where was she?
Just as I was about to give up, I heard my name.
"Mila?"
I turned around, my eyes landing on the taller brunette. I pulled us both into the nearest conference room as soon as possible, shutting the door behind her.
She looked at me for a split second before she asked, "What's wrong?"
"She broke up with me last night!" I exclaimed.
"What?"
"She said that we were 'ruining our relationship' and she wasn't going to be the cause of my 'inner turmoil'." I spoke rapidly, as if time was the most precious element to this whole situation.
Dinah took a minute to process the new information, giving me a sympathetic look. "That makes sense."
"Dinah, no. You're on my side!"
"Of course I am, it's just-well, she cares about you, Mila. She doesn't want to lose you so she's trying to protect you from herself. It's kind of cute, in a twisted way."
I shook my head. No, she wasn't going to do this. "Dinah, this isn't an episode of The Vampire Diaries, okay? I'm not Elena and she's not Damon."
The younger girl gasped, glaring at me. "Don't you dare bring my OTP in this."
"Dinah!" I whined. "She's talking about going out tonight to the club. What if she brings someone home? Oh my God, what if she brings someone home?"
"Okay, okay. Shut up." Dinah put her hands up and I stopped rambling, a little taken aback by her choice of words. "This is Lauren we're talking about here. She doesn't like talking about her feelings, but you know what she does like?" The Polynesian smirked at me, winking.
"Oh, no, Dinah."
"Sex!" She squealed.
I covered my face, ashamed that I thought this would work. "I'm not going to seduce her just to get her back."
"Uh, yes, you are." She countered. "And I'm going to help you do it."
"I'm not doing it!"
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
-
Yes I am.
I couldn't believe I agreed to this. I was stooping this low. I was unlocking the door to my own loft, sneaking Dinah into my own room, so that Lauren wouldn't be suspicious as to why Dinah was carrying tons of tight-fitting dresses since she was pregnant. We had just gotten back from her house and I was praying Lauren wasn't home-
"Camz? Is that you?"
My eyes widened. She was home. In her room. I turned to Dinah and she shook her head in disapproval. "No. Don't you ruin this, Camila. Go in there and tell her you want to go clubbing with her, just like we planned."
I practically ran to her room, knowing that if I didn't act now, I would "chicken out" (Dinah's words). Lauren was walking toward her door to the living room when I nearly crashed into her, making us both stop. I noticed she herself was getting ready, the heavy makeup familiar to me. "Can I go?" I blurted out. She looked at me, confused. "To the club with you, I mean... Can I go?"
Lauren raised her eyebrows, surprised at my question. "You want to go to the club with me?"
"Why not?"
Lauren grinned, my heart fluttering. "Do you know how long I've wanted you to come with? Absolutely. Kevin's going to freak when he finally meets my best friend."
Friend. We were back to that. I shook it off as best as I could before I quickly ran back to my own room, watching as Dinah currently scurried around, trying to get everything in order. She looked up at me for a split second before her eyes were back on the dresses she laid out for me.
"Okay, so. We stopped at my house earlier not only to make Lauren believe we were having some 'good old hangout time', but so I could bring some dresses."
"I have dresses, Dinah."
She laughed, shaking her head. "No, you have Adam-approved dresses. The guy was a prude. Lauren is definitely not a prude, if you haven't noticed."
"Yeah, I think I would know that better than you."
Her face scrunched up. "Okay, ew."
I looked at the choices she had given me, my mouth slightly opening. "Jesus, Dinah. I've never seen you wear any of these... and I'm pretty sure this one is a shirt."
"Just try them on!"
-
Thirty minutes and seventeen dresses later (honestly how did Dinah fit all of those in her purse), I came out in a short, white dress, the hemline ending just at the top of my thigh.
Dinah's jaw dropped. "Even I wanna bang you."
"Do you think she'll like it?"
"Are you kidding? You look hella fine. Those legs are to die for. You kind of look like a sex goddess."
"I know, right? It's impressive. You've got some serious skills in seduction."
Dinah bowed, "Thank you, thank you. Now get out there and get your girl!"
I took a deep breath, afraid that if I moved an inch I would rip the fabric. Lauren was sitting at the counter, sipping on a glass of white wine. The sound of my matching heels across the floor brought her mesmerizing eyes to mine and I relished in the way they widened at my appearance, Lauren sputtering into her drink.
I smirked, aware of what I was doing to her. "Are you okay?"
She silently nodded as she looked me up and down-she was checking me out. I bit my lip to hide a smile when she realized she was basically eye-fucking me. Lauren cleared her throat, standing up. "Let's go then, shall we?"
-
Lauren's POV
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We fought our way through the sweaty crowd, Camila holding onto my hand so that we could reach the bar without losing one another in the sea of people. Once we got there, whispers immediately begun.
"Is that her?" "Who is she with?" "She hasn't been here in months." "That can't be her." "That's her."
I ignored the intrigued girls surrounding us, sitting down on one of the bar stools and motioning for Camila to do the same. The bartender, Kevin, stopped serving a girl once he saw me, his face lighting up under the harsh blacklight.
"Well, I'll be damned. Lauren Jauregui."
I grinned at him as he began preparing a drink. "Kevin, this is Camila."
He shook her hand, a "wow" escaping his mouth. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name. Jauregui's told me all about you."
Camila turned to me, her eyes gleaming. "Oh, really?"
I could barely breathe. She was absolutely breathtaking-the way her tan legs contrasted with the white fabric of her dress. I clenched my jaw. I underestimated just how difficult this would be. I thought going back to being friends was the right thing to do-I thought going back to being friends would make these feelings go away, would make it that much easier to push them down, but I was wrong... so wrong.
She was so beautiful and it killed me knowing that she didn't believe I thought she was. I didn't understand how we got this way, but I thought coming here together would be easy, like we would just fall into our old best friend routine. But we weren't. I was sitting next to her, silently obsessing over how in love I was with her and I-
Wait.
What?
Did I just...?
No... No. I didn't just admit that to myself.
"Lauren?" I heard. "Laur?" But I couldn't respond, my forehead creased in obvious distress. I felt a hand rest on my thigh, looking up to see Camila. "Hey," she chuckled, her smile radiant, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah-I just," I took a deep breath. "Yeah."
She was about to respond before a girl walked up to us, asking Camila if she'd like to dance. Camila nodded in response, taking the girl's hand and letting her lead them into the crowd. My eyes followed them, ignoring Kevin as he pointed out a potential girl for me.
I watched as the stranger put her hands on my Camila, running up and down her sides as they grinded. Camila's eyes locked with mine and I realized she was making a show out of it, knowing full well what she was doing to me. I took a sip from my much-needed drink as I leaned back, watching her. I didn't get the same feelings I usually did when I was with other girls. This was different. I wasn't turned on or ready to share her-she was mine and I wanted nothing more than to take her home and make sure she knew that. I... love her, I told myself. I'm in love with her. What would she do if she found out? Would she leave like everyone else? Should I even tell her?
I huffed, willing myself to look away from the way she was losing herself in the crowd. We shouldn't have come here.
"Lauren?" I heard, "Is that you?"
I turned to see my ex-girlfriend, Kat, coming up to me, arms open wide to embrace me. I hugged her, happier than ever to see a familiar face. She was more of a friend now than an ex and that was rare for me to say. We started to catch up, her hand resting on my arm. Kat always knew how to make me laugh and I figured that was what I was going to spend my night doing now that she was here.
"I missed you; what have you been up to?" She asked.
I couldn't help but giggle. Where was I supposed to begin? "Well, for starters, I slept with my best friend."
"Oh, yikes." Kat chuckled, pushing her short auburn hair behind her ear. "Let's take this somewhere where I can actually catch up with you and hear you."
We left the club hand in hand, walking along the sidewalk together. "So," She started, squeezing my hand, "you and the roommate, huh?" I nodded. "Finally. It was bound to happen." I smiled, playfully hitting her arm in response. "Hey, hey, let's not get violent here." She joked, "So, I'm assuming it didn't go well?"
"And why do you assume that?"
"Well, you were just alone at a bar-you're never alone at a bar-and now you're with the best ex you've ever had."
I laughed, the lightness of our conversation proving to be a nice difference from the heaviness in my life lately. "I suppose you're correct."
"So what happened?"
I thought about it for a second, shrugging when I gave my answer. "I care about her too much."
"Meaning?"
"I don't..." I frowned, these conversations not exactly easy for me. "I don't want to hurt her."
"Why would you hurt her?"
I rolled my eyes, "C'mon, Kat. You've been there before. Don't act like you don't know."
"Look, you didn't love me." I looked at her, sympathetically. "You loved her. The way you looked at her, the way you talked about her... It wasn't exactly the hardest thing to figure out when I was dating you." A sigh escaped my lips at her discovery. "It's different with her, Lauren. I know it is. I've seen you two together... That is, when we made it out of the bedroom." We chuckled together at the truth of it all, just happy to be in each other's company. "But with you two-it's what everyone is jealous of. It's why all of those girls go up to you. They want to be the best friend, the roommate. She's a legend to the lesbian community, you know?"
I raised my eyebrows, a tad amused by this. "Is she?" I smirked.
"Oh, yeah. Definitely." Kat replied, serious as ever.
"And why is that?"
"Well, she's the only girl that Lauren Jauregui has ever fallen for."
My smirk was wiped away at that, silence falling over us as we continued to walk. I've fallen for her. I could've sworn I was going to vomit at that exact moment, the truth of it all becoming too real.
"Do you want a sad, lonely lesbian's advice?"
I softly grinned, her humor never failing to make me feel better. "It can't hurt."
"You don't have to be alone." I looked at her, questioningly. "It's beautiful that you can love people, Lauren... But it's okay to be in love, too." She continued in my silence, "I have seen it. Everyone you've ever dated has seen it. Lauren, you love her. You're in love with her."
I didn't bother to deny it at this point. "So what if I am?"
"Then you should be with her."
I shook my head. "It's not that simple. She doesn't trust me-she... she deserves someone she can trust."
"We are talking about the same girl, aren't we? She trusts you with her life. Lack of self-confidence, on the other hand, has nothing to do with the trust she has for you."
"There is absolutely nothing she needs to be self-conscious about."
"Maybe to you. All I'm saying, Lauren, is that I know she trusts you. It's everyone else she doesn't trust. Think about how unsure she must be."
"Then what am I supposed to do to fix that?"
Kat smiled, nudging into my side. "Show her you love her."
I bumped her back, "Me? Lauren Jauregui? Showing love?"
The red-headed girl laughed, her cheeks pink from the cold. "Oh, shush. Where is the roommate tonight, anyway?"
"She's at the club dancing with some girl."
Suddenly, Kat stopped us from walking further. "Why'd you leave her at the club?"
"So we could talk?"
She gaped, "Has anyone ever told you that you're maybe too attentive to the wrong people?" She grasped my hand tighter, making us run back to the venue. When we got inside, we started pushing through people. "Did she see you leave with me?"
My heart was racing, the possibilities of what was running through Camila's mind now running through mine. "Fuck, I-I'm such an idiot! She probably thinks I'm taking you home!"
We finally made it to the bar, Kat stopping in her tracks so that I could find Camila by myself. She looked expectantly at me, like I should be running off by now, but I just felt so guilty. "Before I go, I just-I never apologized for what I did to you. I knew you really had feelings for me and I just cut you off like it was nothing... like you didn't matter to me," Kat frowned at the memory, "You didn't deserve that and I'm sorry." She was speechless as I turned away, immediately walking toward Kevin. "Did you happen to see where Camila went?" I asked him, my anxiety at an all-time high.
"She walked over here on the phone and called someone. I think she left a couple of minutes ago."
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I thanked Kevin before practically sprinting out of the club and catching a cab. I didn't have time to lose.
-
When I got to my building, I saw that our car was still there. That was a good sign-it meant she hadn't left. I couldn't get to our loft fast enough, breathing a sigh of relief when I heard her moving around in her room. Perfect timing. "Camz," I called, walking toward her room, "I have something to tell you. I know you might be mad right now but I really think you'll want to hear this and-" I stopped, unable to move. Was that a suitcase? I looked up, my eyes meeting his.
"Oh, didn't know you'd be home so early. Where's your slut?" Adam asked, shrugging when I was too shocked to reply. "Fine, don't answer me. Anyway, I'm just getting some clothes for Camila." He walked toward me, "You seemed to upset her pretty badly and she's done with it. It's time her and I work some things out, don't you think?"
"She's going... with you?" I managed to say.
"Yep. Just like it's meant to be." He replied arrogantly.
"Where is she? I-I want to speak to her."
"No can do." He laughed, throwing more of her clothes into the suitcase I bought her for Christmas two years ago. She wanted to go to Europe... We were supposed to go together. "She's in my car-refused to come inside for fear she would run into you and the girl you took home."
"Kat? We're just friends. I-"
He interrupted me, not interested in listening to my excuses. "We all know what just friends means to you, Lauren. Now, if you'll excuse me."
I slowly stepped out of his way, watching as my world came crumbling down. When the door slammed shut, I flinched. There she went. Gone.
When I felt the first tear fall, that's when I called.
"Hello?"
"Richard? I know it's late, but I've made a decision." I paused, willing the tears back. "Let's go to Portland."
-